Best of Season 1 with Randall Park, Randy Sklar, Rass Kass, Jonesy, Kristen Key, and more.

Jennifer Field: [00:00:05] We don't have a new episode this month, but we're taking a much needed break to recharge and do even more research so we can bring you more exciting new episodes of the unofficial official story podcast. But in the meantime, we're looking back at some of our favorite moments from season one.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:20] I think my favorite moment was having Rass Kass as a guest. We had some great guests when you really look at it, but I think he is just super accomplished in his field and innovator and probably, you know, top 50 MC of all time. So that was amazing and he was so cool and so down to Earth. He's great. And, you know, sometimes Kanye, sometimes when you're great, it's a pass, not be so cool. So I think that was amazing.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:47] What was your fair moment from that show?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:48] I think my favorite moment from that show was when Rass Kass, which is so deep, he said he's recording or he's thinking about his album. That's going to come out posthumously. I'm saying, right? And so like, I think we over glorify people who always speak their mind, you know, like, it is kind of cool to be that person, but it's also like, sometimes you can't be that person, right? Realistically, the fact that he has people in the industry that, you know, for whatever reason, he can't sort of, you know, divulge that he doesn't get along with, but he's going to write an album. And then afterward, yeah, you know, spill the tea. I think us here is what we do. We're writers. We're entertainers. It just struck a real chord because it's just like everyone makes sacrifices. But also it's good to see that like it's OK to be a little petty as well.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:39] Let's take a listen to a clip from Episode 12, where rapper Rass Kass talks about his death album years ago.

Ras Kass: [00:01:45] You know, well, in these streets you're getting the beats and whatever. So this time I thought, you know, possibly I might die on this one, you know, whatever. And I remember just threatening my mother. I was like, Don't put me on those songs with no motherfuckers. I don't like it right now. Not because that shit happens, man, you know? Yeah, of course you're my mama. Don't know who. I don't fuck you. You know Jesus. And then, you know, everybody loves you when you're dead. So posthumously, you know, Pac ends up on songs with people eating fuckwit. And same thing with Nipsey Hussle. Like your baby mama or your mom does not know your street life and who you don't fuck with. And a lot of times they're just listening to people who are exploiting an opportunity because you're dead you can't say no. So I kind of my little sister. She has a list of people who I don't fuck with, like, don't you ever put on a fucking song with this fucking weirdo, bro?

Jennifer Field: [00:02:36] One thing I learned, which I apply to my traveling plans, is sit in the back of the plane and you are more likely to survive. Thanks to you, Koji. I think that was D.B. Cooper episode. I did not know that. And it's funny because, you know, when you pick your seats, when you're like, not southwest and you're flying some other flight. People are always trying to fill up the earlier rows, so I'm usually stuck in the back and that's a good thing. So I'm going to be I'm going to keep sitting in the back of the plane.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:03] In Episode 11, what happened to Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 with Tom Cruise impersonator Evan Ferrante? Dwyane gives us his advice about how to survive a disaster, and of course, I interject about the best place to sit.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:13] Plane crash wise, I would say, sit in the exit row when you can, right? If you book your flight in advance, you can find out which row is the exit

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:21] Actually safer in the back of the plane. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:23] Or even the exit row, the furthest back exit row. And if you can get some custom made clothes that are stylish but also flame retardant,

Evan Ferrante: [00:03:34] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:36] I think that could that could help. And then also your hand to hand combats gotta be good because at some point people are going to fight each other and you've got to be ready.

Jennifer Field: [00:03:44] Oh, that's good. Have some self-defense skills a little bit,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:49] OK, 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:50] A little bit of jiu-jitsu. Or some kind of Right. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:52] Do arm bar while you're leaving. Yeah. One thing I wish I hadn't learned. Ok, so this is Jennifer, during a couple of the episodes we talked about, you know, like advice we had and your advice was always like seduction. And it really hurt me because my personal dream has always been to be like a pretty girl. That's like my whole goal, my life. All I wanted to be was a pretty girl because I thought, like my life would be like way easier. And then I realized listening to you. I realized it was. It would be. And I just thought, Man, this sucks. The first clip is from episode 10, where we asked the question Who killed JonBenet Ramsey with psychologist and writer Dr. John Mayer. And the second clip is from episode 11. Let's take a listen to the advice that makes me so sad.

Jennifer Field: [00:04:33] My advice is if you're in a sticky situation or you think you're going to get murdered or you're about to be kidnapped is seduction. I used to oddly fantasize that if an intruder ever came into my house, I would give him a blowjob to blow them, to seduce them or something to, like, throw them off. That was always my thing is, if I'm ever in a weird situation, whether it's a girl or a guy, I'm going to try to like, manipulate them.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:04:57] What's your disaster advice?

Jennifer Field: [00:04:59] Well my first instinct was sort of silly, but I think I used it in a previous episode, which was like, I always like to use seduction in my tool kit. That's my first thought is like, how do I seduce the smartest person in the room that's going to save me? That's my thing, but I don't know if that's really practical. But that was my initial instinct, because that's what I use, as that's what I often use in my life doesn't mean you have to go all the way. You know, you can just do a little flirting, you know?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:30] What what threw me and I didn't ask any questions, I'm like, that guys like, I'm I don't like spill the tea, if you will. But and you know, even off mic, I didn't ask. But when you just casually drop that, you've gone on dates with two billionaires.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:43] Yeah

Jennifer Field: [00:05:43] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:43] Like, yeah, that's outrageous.

Jennifer Field: [00:05:46] It's totally true too.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:47] Super outrageous. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:48] Because there's been zero billionaire females that've wanted to date me.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:52] I've never dated a girl who probably had more than one comma in her bank account.

Jennifer Field: [00:05:57] Oh my god.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:58] Maybe I don't think maybe two commas. I don't know two commas. We'd have to throw in the four one K. How much is the house worth? I don't think... 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:08] A house would probably in L.A. would be enough.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:09] Yeah, yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:10] They own a house in L.A. then they probably have.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:11] Yeah, I don't think I've dated a girl. Maybe, yeah, maybe. Who's owned a house in LA? But yeah, it's just one of these things where. Yeah, that was like two billionaires. And I think, you know, I get it. I do get it. But I think because we're friends and I'm like, Oh, yeah, yeah, I can see that billionaires, you know what I mean?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:29] This clip is from episode nine. Did Blues legend Robert Johnson Make a deal with the devil with comedian Ian Harris. Jennifer, what kind of deal would you make?

Jennifer Field: [00:06:37] I love it. Yeah, I also thought about a couple of different things, but I feel like the what I would ask for is I want to be a billionaire supposedly like more money, more problems. But I feel like I can just imagine my life. Like if I had millions and millions of dollars, I feel like everything would be comfortable. I would have a personal trainer, I would have a chef, I would have multiple nannies. I would get to take my friends on vacations like every month, and I would be able to fund our podcast. I would be able to fund my movies. I would be able to like, have all the dermatological treatments that I need forever. I could just like not even work, and I could just be on vacation with my life. So I don't know. I just want money.

Ian Harris: [00:07:18] You can make a deal with Jamie Fox.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:23] Yeah, also that that deal you can make with just an old dude who's about to die

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:07:29] For the old dude. You have to do work, though you can't just, you know,

Jennifer Field: [00:07:32] Yeah

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:32] It's not much work.

Jennifer Field: [00:07:33] I've tried. I've been on two dates with two different billionaires that I will not name because they're known.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:39] That's outrageous.

Jennifer Field: [00:07:40] It was too much work Dwyane 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:42] To even be in the presence of billionaires. I've been in the presence of a billionaire, I think once in Dubai. It was very uncomfortable because, you know, he could he could just erase you.

Jennifer Field: [00:07:51] It's kind of mind boggling. And yeah, the two billionaires that I went on dates with were very, very, very just, I don't know. I've just never met anyone like them. They just had very poor social skills and were extremely smart, and they had no sense of fashion or style.

Ian Harris: [00:08:09] He dated both Elon Musk and Bill Gates.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:14] Don't answer. Don't answer. Something that makes me think, OK, have you guys seen the movie Don't look up? 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:22] Yes

Jennifer Field: [00:08:22] I need to. I should.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:23] So there's a I don't want to give it away, but there's a part of that movie where this weird thing happens. It's really funny. It's the Jennifer Lawrence thing when she's at the White House, right? And I want to give it away and the whole rest of the movie, she keeps going back to that she just can't get her hands around it.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:35] Oh yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:36] Because it's so ridiculous and random. And that's how I feel about people on their deathbed claiming that they were D.B. Cooper. I just can't. I cannot understand it. The second more than one person does that someone's lying.

Jennifer Field: [00:08:50] Yeah, right.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:50] And I just can't believe we talked about this, but I still not that like every day, but still every once in a while, I'm like, on your deathbed, you send your relatives on a wild goose chase. That's just crazy to me. What about your life was so empty and void that your final breath is used for a silly lie that's not. It's just mind boggling. But I think that's just how much appeal this guy has because of what he did, how daring it was and people want to be that I guess. 

[00:09:17] It's just it's just sad, though, that at the end of your life, you, you feel like you haven't lived an important enough life. You know, I mean, because that's the point where it's like, it's over already. Now it's time to move on. You know, I hope that by that time, you're just like, I'm ready to go.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:30] Exactly. But I will probably reveal when I if I'm on my death bed, I probably would reveal that I'm Batman.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:09:39] I'm going to say I'm D.B. Cooper.

Jennifer Field: [00:09:44] Oh, guys, At least I'll get the joke

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:09:49] In episode six. What happened to D.B. Cooper with comedian Jonesy? He talks about the phenomenon of people claiming to be D.B. Cooper on their deathbeds,

Jonesy: [00:09:56] Some sort of psychological phenomena that has become part of certainly the American culture where we just want to attach ourselves to legends. How many people confessed to being the Night Stalker? How many people confessed to being the Unabomber that weren't? What is it about these people that what is missing in their life like, what hole are they trying to fill that they have to just lie and pretend that they like this fantasy, that they're these people that did some sort of crazy action?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:22] It's like everyone's so afraid to be normal. It gets to the point where if you're a person who is OK being normal, that almost makes you extraordinary because you're OK being normal, you know what I mean? But no matter what kind of notoriety you receive in your life, you're going to be a footnote historically, no matter what, unless you're like Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad Moses, oh, everyone else is going to be a footnote. It doesn't matter if You're a king, you are going to be a footnote.

Jonesy: [00:10:44] Kobe Bryant is going to be a footnote. Everybody's going, sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Koji. Kobe Bryant is going to be a footnote. No.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:52] Historically, two hundred years after you live, you're a footnote. That's it.

Jonesy: [00:10:56] This is all going to be dust. There's just going to be no record of Anything 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:01] Like Napoleon is is a little bit more than a footnote. Even Napoleon in 200 years is a footnote.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:11:08] Here's one of our favorite clips in episode four. Did Babe Ruth call a shot with comedian, actor and podcaster Randy Sklar. He talks about Babe Ruth and about cricket.

Randy Sklar: [00:11:16] Why if Babe Ruth really did make this call that he was going to go hit this ball out of there and then did it on the very next pitch? He's either really lucky or he really was the best there ever was to be able to do that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:27] Absolutely. And I think if I'm Jennifer has to go in a second, but if I'm reading between the lines and I don't want to be controversial, but I believe Randy, You just said baseball is harder than cricket. I'm just saying, that's what that's what I heard.

Randy Sklar: [00:11:38] Cricket, I don't understand at all. Cricket, you can hit it behind you. Cricket, they have tea in the middle of it. Cricket, you don't want to score too many runs because then the other team can't get up. And so you got to like cap off what you're doing. And it's just. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:52] It's like rugby. It's like Baseball. Before they said, let's Make it make sense.

Randy Sklar: [00:11:56] Let's figure it out. Alice actually makes some rules here. Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:02] I know the improv that, like the improvs we did, went long, but they were so much. They were a lot of fun.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:07] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:07] Like I thought the sexual goo was Really, really funny.

Jennifer Field: [00:12:11] That was a good one.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:12] And even though the bat improv wasn't great, I love that Randal took all the ideas that we had and made it like people fucking bats.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:20] The first improv is from episode two. What is the story of The Moth Man with comedian Kristen Key. And the second improv is from episode three Did five g caused the coronavirus with actor Randall Park

Jennifer Field: [00:12:32] Did someone say sex?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:34] Well, you know it crane?

Kristey Key: [00:12:35] That's my middle name.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:37] Oh, we've got to have a minaj up in here, Big Bird. Come on, hop in this goo with me and crane.

Kristey Key: [00:12:47] Yeah, the more the merrier.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:47] Wait, are we going to get married? Because, you know, I don't just hook up with anybody. The first owl I see, right?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:52] O bird, just take the goo.

Kristey Key: [00:12:55] Big Bird, you're ruining the mood,

Jennifer Field: [00:12:56] You make a cute Couple.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:00] Oh, come over here, girl, crane and bird. Whose is it? Whose is it?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:09] Goo? Wait, can I have a sidebar with the goo goo? I want. I want to be a little bit bigger. This is a little bit awkward. I want to do it in front of the the owl here. But. Can you make my lower appendage a little bit bigger because, you know?

Kristey Key: [00:13:22] Oh yeah. I'm magic. I'm actually I'm magic sex goo. I got ecstasy and Viagra flowing through my fluids. Just get get on up in here.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:34] Damn bird. I see you had a shower. You had a grower, not a shower. Look at that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:42] Why is this? Why is the crane watching us?

Jennifer Field: [00:13:46] I want in on this action. I want in on this action. Let me in. Let me in.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:51] Let the crane tap in the crane. Let the crane tap in. 

Kristey Key: [00:13:56] The crane has been sitting there for 10 years, just waiting for something like this to happen.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:08] The only question becomes, Who's pregnant now? Is it me owl? Is it crane? Is it bird or is it goo?

Kristey Key: [00:14:15] I feel,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:16] Oh, the goo is pregnant.

Kristey Key: [00:14:19] There's a bubble. There's a bubble forming in me. And it is Weird. It is weird. It's got wings. I think it's about to pop. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:25] It's going to look like all of us. Crane is going to have your eyes.

Jennifer Field: [00:14:35] Oh my baby.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:40] I love bats. They love me.

Randall Park: [00:14:41] No, no, no. You're basically telling them that we fuck bats by saying,

Jennifer Field: [00:14:46] Hey, yeah, that's maybe a little.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:48] Yeah, I agree. I have a fever. I I fucked four bats yesterday, but I just don't know if the people. Oh man. So is anyone else hot? I just have like chills. Anyway, I don't think we can tell them the world isn't ready to understand man bat love.

Randall Park: [00:15:03] I think maybe the plan would be to, I don't know, deflect, you know,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:08] Four h five g. Is there a six I?

Jennifer Field: [00:15:11] It's available. It is available.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:13] Can I just say what Betty looks at me, Betty, the bat that I'm hooking up with currently, she reads My soul. She loves me. I can tell. I'm ready to tell everybody I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to go online and just tell the world about my love, our love.

Randall Park: [00:15:26] Well, I don't know. I I really think you'd be doing us a disservice here.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:30] I agree. Plus, if this fever I have, if I said any way contagious and if people can link it to our bat fucking, we may never recover it.

Randall Park: [00:15:40] I'm not sick, but I did lose my sense of taste the other day, and I don't know if that's

Jennifer Field: [00:15:45] How many bats did you fuck or. 

Randall Park: [00:15:48] I'm fucking one, right?

Jennifer Field: [00:15:49] Just one. Ok, OK, OK.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:51] I doubt that's related sincere taste.

Randall Park: [00:15:52] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:53] That's silly. That's like, Yeah, I mean, what caused that your cell phone?

Randall Park: [00:16:01] That's absurd.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:03] You guys heard the 5G towers.

Jennifer Field: [00:16:05] Oh, you mean?

Randall Park: [00:16:05] Yeah, that's where we go to meet our our bats to fuck.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:08] Yeah. So do you guys think there's could be a connection?

Randall Park: [00:16:11] Well, they used to be they're now. Now, they're everywhere. But yeah,

Jennifer Field: [00:16:14] Yeah, the 5G towers are everywhere. There has been a lot more lately and you know, people, I have to explain all the time whenever I try to invite others to our group. I don't know if you've run into those problems, guys, but I find that people get those things confused. They think we're some kind of Tech group,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:32] Right? Because we always dress up like We work for AT&T when we meet.

Jennifer Field: [00:16:36] Yes. Yes, that was a good suggestion from Randall a couple of years ago. I I loved that. I really loved that. Thank you.

Randall Park: [00:16:42] Hmm. I think we're almost there.

Randall Park: [00:16:44] We blame AT&T.

Jennifer Field: [00:16:46] We're on to something. No one likes them anyway,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:48] But they've got deep pockets. We can't blame them directly.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:51] Wait did I mention that when Betty looks at me, my heart flutters did I mention that. 

Randall Park: [00:16:55] You've mentioned that three times

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:57] Ok?

Jennifer Field: [00:16:57] I think if you Did it anonymously in a Reddit post of some kind, that would be OK with me. Do you all agree? I think that would be fine, but we definitely need to come up with something quickly because we'll be able to spread it as well. We can use Tik Tok. I just got an account last week and I'm learning how to use it, so that might be a good place for us.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:16] That's a Great idea. I think we're forgetting that people don't know about us. So if we can just say 5G cause this thing, they don't know who we are and they won't even know what that means.

Jennifer Field: [00:17:27] Oh, I see, I see. Ok, so 5G, we can just deflect anybody. No, we'll never get found out.

Randall Park: [00:17:35] This makes no sense, but they'll probably blame the towers, right?

Jennifer Field: [00:17:39] I see.

Randall Park: [00:17:39] Which is idiotic, but maybe it'll work.

Jennifer Field: [00:17:44] I just want to say like this has been super fun, and I've learned so much and I thought like I had my handle on all these like conspiracy theories and like about cryptids and unexplained phenomenon, I thought I knew a lot, but I keep learning about all these incidents and this lore and these things that I never and and I love it and I'm learning so much and I feel like I feel like I'm getting smarter. So thanks, guys.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:06] Is are there any fans that you guys know that are listening that you want to shout out?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:10] Friend of mine who I do the show with Andrea. She's been listening, so shout out to her and maybe we'll have her on at some point. She's a really sharp, sharp mind and she's into the show. So that makes me think that's a good sign. If she's into it. You know,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:25] We we just I just lost my dog and the vet would come and we would talk about the. We would talk about the show with each other. So shout out to you guys. Thank you for taking care of Mr. Rabbit and thank you for listening to the show.

Jennifer Field: [00:18:37] Yeah, thank you so much for everyone listening. I check the reviews and the ratings. I appreciate the follows and I thank you so much, guys. Everybody that listens, it's so appreciated. Be sure to subscribe to our show anywhere you usually listen to your podcasts. Follow us on social media to stay tuned to what we're doing and visit our website. Unofficial official Story dot com to listen to any of our past episodes. And stay tuned for season two, which will come out on April 21st, where we'll be asking the question Can Q and on be trusted?