S2E1 Will Trump make JFK Jr his VP when he's reinstated as Prez? with Comedian Steve Hofstetter

Jennifer Field: [00:00:00] Welcome, everyone. This is season two, episode number one of the unofficial official story. What's up? I'm Jennifer. I'm so glad to be back.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:09] I'm Dwayne and I'm so glad that Jennifer is back.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:13] And I'm Koji and I am horny. I'm just kidding. I'm married Dad. Which means I'm just tired. So tired all the time.

Jennifer Field: [00:00:21] So this is a podcast where we tell you the official story. We look at the paranormal conspiracies, unexplained phenomena, cryptids and true crime. And by the end, we're going to tell you what really maybe happened. This is the first episode of season two. Can you believe it?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:39] It's crazy. It feels like just a year ago we started.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:42] Yeah. I do. I do believe it. I believe.

Jennifer Field: [00:00:44] It. So in the first episode, we're asking the question, will donald trump make John F Kennedy jr his vice president when he's reinstated as the 19th president of the united states of America? Okay. But first, let's do some housekeeping and announcements. We're always trying to take the unofficial official story to the next level. We have a new show description, new topics, a soon to be updated website. And as you just heard, brand new intro music from the super talented music producer, Brian Deep Watters. So thank you, Brian. Shout out to you. You can find a link to Brian's music in our show notes. Also, we want to give a quick shout out to our listeners in Provincetown, Massachusetts and Seattle, Washington. Folks, we didn't know this, but you guys and gals make up a sizable percentage of our audience. So if you're in Provincetown or Seattle, send us a hello on social media. We want to hear from you and highlight you on our future shows. Let's meet our guest, comedian Steve Hofstetter. Steve, hi.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:49] Hello.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:01:49] Hello.

Jennifer Field: [00:01:49] So Steve Hofstetter, who has a whopping 185 million views on YouTube, is also the host of Finding Babe Ruth on FS1. His book, Ginger Kid, is a top five pick on Amazon and debuted at number one in its category. Hofstadter was the host and executive producer of Season One of Laughs on Fox, and he has been on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and E True Hollywood story comics unleashed comedy all stars, quite frankly, White Boys in the Hood Countdown and more. He's been in four movies, and he's had two top 20 comedy albums, including one that hit number one on iTunes comedy charts. He is a former columnist as well for Sports Illustrated and the NHL and has also written for Maxim and The New York Times, among others. Yes, Steve, you are the shit.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:02:44] Thank you. None of that's true, though. None of that's that's all. It's all conspiracy.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:49] Right? Right. Well, here's the thing. I think it's like I've known you for so long, Steve. It's like all of that is true. But if we read everything, this would just be an hour of us reading. You know what I mean?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:02:59] I appreciate that. But that's I think that's just true if you've been in the comedy game long enough, because like half of those credits were just me trying to survive in the beginning, you know? And then another quarter of them are things that I had to do that I'm not proud of. And then another quarter of them are like, Yeah, that's actually the stuff I get to do now.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:17] So Steve, I've been watching you in your videos for so long before I even knew your name, and I've always wondered about that first time you were heckled and what happened and how did you feel and how did you react to.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:03:27] That the first time that like I can remember, I guess, a specific response and this is one that I have on video somewhere, but I think it's a high eight tape. That's how long ago it happened. So I was I was doing this show just outside of Detroit, and I did a political joke that was not partisan at all. I won't go into the whole thing. But the beginning of it is I say that we spent $1.6 billion for security for the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. How can we spend that much money to protect the lives of the people we'd most like to see killed by terrorists? So pretty, pretty dark joke, but it's not partisan at all. Someone yelled out and said, I thought this was a comedy show, not a political rally. And, you know, I use the oh, you can tell it's a comedy show because of the applause break I got right before that joke. And so I thought that was enough. And then some other guy yells out, You're not doing very well. Which was crazy, because I had just I was it was a great set. There were plenty of nights where I didn't do well, but that was not one of them. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:22] Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:04:22] And so I had just used the strategy of like, hey, look, I am doing well. I can't be like, remember what I just said a minute ago? It's still true. It was a weird it was this weird moment where I went. I try to go back and forth with them. It was like a minute and a half of no laughs at all. The guy wouldn't really give me anything, you know. I asked his name. He wouldn't say anything. I asked him what he did for a living. He wouldn't say anything. So finally he said that I was being mean. And I said, Oh, well, the way this works, this is a comedy show. I'm going to say a lot of things. You're not going to enjoy all of them. And I don't give a fuck. And I wasn't saying that to be funny. I was saying that because that was just how I felt in the moment. And it got this enormous applause break like nothing I had ever experienced before. And. And I realize in that moment that like the reason they were applauding wasn't because I snapped back at him. They were applauding because they were more angry at him than I was.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:08] Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:05:09] He was destroying their good time. And that, like, showed me the psychology of it, of like, oh, you get the crowd on your side. You can say anything you want.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:17] Absolutely.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:05:17] And that's kind of where it all started.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:20] Such a great insight that people don't understand. And, you know, you and I as comics, different types. There are different types of hecklers and heckles. Some are good, good natured. And you don't slam them as hard because the crowd will turn on you if you did that.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:05:32] Yes.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:32] And some assholes in the crowd wants you to just lay into them.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:05:36] That was once where I told someone and this is one I don't have this on tape because like an idiot, I double click the record button and I didn't get it. I was so mad afterwards that I don't have this one. But this was pretty early on and there was there was a bachelorette party and this one woman, the maid of honor, was just the worst and she just wouldn't shut up. And I spent probably 10 minutes just back and forth. And at one point I told her that I hoped her husband left her and she died alone. And the crowd cheered. The crowd cheered because they wanted worse for her. They thought I was being nice at that point.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:08] That's so crazy. It's really. And it speaks to your ability to read the situation.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:06:14] Thank you.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:14] Because you have to read the situation correctly. You know, one thing I was thinking, and I'm so glad you and Koji are both here in this place, this virtual place, because you two guys have the most insane hustle, probably, of anyone I know. And I marvel at your ability, Steve, to deal with not only hecklers, but also trolls. And. 

Steve Hofstetter: [00:06:31] Thank you.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:32] Your energy seems boundless. I was just wondering, how do you choose what to respond to? And do you ever feel overwhelmed? Because I had a situation where I had something go viral that wasn't pleasant and I couldn't deal with it. I just couldn't deal with people like we're both from New York for the New York in me. Wanted to meet everyone somewhere at a park. You know what I mean?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:06:49] Yes. Yeah. I had instances where some of my stuff went viral in not a good way with the neo-Nazi community. Well, where they were very upset with me because I was talking about being Jewish and they would like cut these videos up so that the context is missing and like things like that. And just these troll farms would come for me. And when that happens, I just report, report, report. There was once it was fun. I took down about 200 Twitter accounts, which is nice. I didn't know that there is a corner of like anti Semitic Twitter. Like, I didn't know that that was a thing. It is insane. Some of the stuff that these guys it was so easy to report because it was just like these. This is just like legitimate where they were just like, we should kill all the Jews. Like just saying stuff like there was no coding, there was no like hidden message. It was all just like straight up death threats and so that kind of stuff I would just report and not engage with. The only stuff I reply to is the stuff that I know will lead to more content.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:47] I see.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:07:47] Like I never actually fight in the comments. Like what I do is I either reply to give the people who like there are plenty of people who agree with me on political things but don't know how to tell their family that stuff. Like they don't know how to vocalize it,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:03] Right

Steve Hofstetter: [00:08:04] So sometimes I'll reply in order to give someone the tools to reply to a similar troll. And most of the time I reply just because like every time someone does that, I'm just like, Oh, thanks for the engagement, you idiot. You're going to get me another 100,000 new followers.

Jennifer Field: [00:08:20] In light of what happened at the Oscars, you're being a comedian. I'm just curious. Everyone's got an opinion on that whole slap incident. Do you think that Chris Rock went too far? Like if you were him, would you have felt comfortable making that joke? Do you think that joke was crossing the line?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:08:35] You know, I think that joke sucked for a couple of reasons. I think you don't need to make fun of someone's appearance. It's low hanging fruit. I think referencing a movie from before some of the Oscar winners were born was not the greatest joke,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:48] Right

Steve Hofstetter: [00:08:48] Nothing says Current like a G.I. Jane reference. Like, are you going to or are you going to reference the first Jurassic Park next? But like at the same time, you know, I think people going, oh, he knew she had alopecia. That's ridiculous. Most of us didn't know that. And also, like just because you read a gossip blog doesn't mean Chris Rock reads a gossip blog, like the people who decided he had to know that. That said, you still don't need to go after someone's physical appearance. Whatever the reason, if someone decided to shave their head, if someone had to medically, it's still not a good joke. But. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:20] But right right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:09:23] There is the idea that people are even debating whether or not the joke warranted a slap or. Disgusting.

Jennifer Field: [00:09:28] Right, right, right. Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:09:29] Like no joke warrants a slap. It's violence. No joke warrants a violent response. Like we don't want to live in a world when your feelings are hurt, you get to hit somebody like that's not a world any of us want to live in. And the people who are like, Oh, maybe, maybe if people hit people more than they would know what not to say. It's like, No, you've never read the Butter Battle book. Like, just like it's escalation. It's not good to escalate.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:52] Right? Right. I agree 100%. But I do think it's just kind of weird when you're in a country that is so associated with violence on a macro level to not expect it to happen on a micro level, you know what I mean?

Jennifer Field: [00:10:04] All right, so I think it's time to get into it, guys. Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:07] Let's do it.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:10:07] Yep, let's do it.

Jennifer Field: [00:10:08] So here are the facts.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:10] It's important to note that this month's question originates from the world of QAnon conspiracists on social media sites like TikTok.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:10:15] So let's start with the basics. What exactly is QAnon? Q refers to Q Clearance, which is a designation in the US Department of Energy that will allow the holder access to classified material and anon obviously means Anonymous.

Jennifer Field: [00:10:30] On October 28, 2017, an anonymous user put a series of posts on forchan titled Calm Before the Storm and written by someone using the name Q Clearance Patriot. They predicted the imminent arrest of Hillary Clinton and a violent uprising nationwide, which, of course, never happened.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:10:51] Wait, it didn't happen.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:52] Well, not nationwide. Yeah,

Steve Hofstetter: [00:10:54] A. Violent uprising did happen.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:55] Yeah, that's true.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:57] What else do followers of QAnon believe? They believe there's a worldwide cabal of Satan worshipping pedophiles who rule the world and that there is an imminent event known as the storm. When thousands of members of the Cabal will be arrested and face military tribunals, the result will naturally be salvation and utopia on Earth.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:11:16] And just to be clear, because we're all in Hollywood or we're comedians or work in the entertainment world, I think we would all be part of that cabal just to let you know. We'd all be we'd all be in Gitmo. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:26] In their minds. Right?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:11:28] Yeah. Q also believes that all Jews are evil. Throw that in there too.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:32] Yeah, but that's that's crazy because the main guy was Jewish. Jesus.

Jennifer Field: [00:11:38] Right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:11:38] And according to one poll, one in three Republicans say they believe the QAnon theory about a conspiracy among deep state elites is mostly true. And another 23% say some parts are true, only 4% of the Democrats. And that's way more than I thought. By the way, I think the theory is even partly true. And with 72% of Democrats responding that the QAnon conspiracy is not true at all, it is important to note that the FBI has identified QAnon conspiracy theorists as extremists who pose a potential domestic terror threat.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:12:05] Do you know who also believes that QAnon isn't real? The guy who started QAnon.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:10] Right. But do we know who it is?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:12:14] Yeah. Yeah, there's there's been all kinds of, like, exposés on this. The guy did it as satire, and then it just became this thing.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:22] It seems like like fan fiction that went out of control or something, you know?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:12:26] Yes.

Jennifer Field: [00:12:27] Now, let's break down this month's question first. Why will Trump be the number 19 president, 19th president, not the 45th or the 47th?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:12:39] Because the people who believe this can only count using fingers and toes and they run out at 19.

Jennifer Field: [00:12:46] That's pretty that's pretty good. Well, the argument goes a little something like this. So the District of Columbia Organic Act of 1871 essentially turned the US federal government into an incorporated private business. So according to the website, logically there will be a link in the show notes they wrote. Conspiracy theorists have frequently cited 28 US Code 3002, which includes the phrase United States Means Federal Corporation. This does not take into account the context of the original legal meaning behind this term, which does not translate to our modern understanding of corporation meaning business.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:24] But let's not let facts get in the way. So because the US is a corporation, not a government, any law passed or election after the District of Columbia Act is moot and more importantly, US citizens are not subject to them. The president who served when that act was passed was Ulysses S Grant, the 18th President See? Therefore, the people aka the Q anon folk will overturn the 1871 Act, thereby returning the United States government to a government, not a corporation, and reinstating Donald Trump as the 19th President.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:13:59] Oh, this is so stupid.

Jennifer Field: [00:14:01] So stupid.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:14:02] First of all, you know, according to this, they don't think Donald Trump was ever president.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:08] That's true.

Jennifer Field: [00:14:09] That's true.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:10] Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:14:12] Second of all, and they also don't think JFK was ever a president. So what does it matter what JFK jr was? He was what? A stockholder. But the point is that have they never seen like the signs of, like, incorporated area, like every city,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:27] Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:14:28] Depending on the state because there are townships in some states, parishes in some states, counties and some states, etc.. But that's all incorprated because that is just how the legality of it works. And they don't understand that a corporation is very like a a publicly traded corporation is different than an incorporated area.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:49] It's just so funny.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:50] So and JFK Jr as vice president, how does that work? Isn't he dead? Apparently Kennedy didn't die in an airplane crash in 1999. He's actually been alive this whole time, but that's not all. Are you guys ready for it? He's actually Q himself and juniors return will somehow set off the storm leading to Trump being restored to power. But he's not the only one who's coming back. Robin Williams, Princess Diana, Michael Jackson and maybe President John F Kennedy himself. I think our brains are hurt just trying to make sense of this all.

Jennifer Field: [00:15:21] Oh, this is crazy.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:15:23] I yeah. John F Kennedy, the the original John F Kennedy was born in 1917. He would be 105 years old this year. So the idea that they're like, oh, it's a vast conspiracy that JFK was killed in the 1960s. Okay, cool. But I mean, even if he wasn't, it's. He'd have been he'd have been killed by Life after that. And also the idea that all of these, like, crazy right wing people are like, you know, who's going to save us? The most progressive president compared to their era, the most progressive president possibly of all time. That's who's going to come and save the conservative viewpoint.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:09] I think they justify it by saying, like Junior was an insider. So Junior saw first hand and he decided to get off the grid by faking his own death.

Jennifer Field: [00:16:18] Oh, that makes sense.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:19] It's just the plot of every movie mash together. You know what I mean?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:25] Bad movie.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:26] Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:16:27] Do you think that they went to a movie theater, saw a bunch of previews and thought it was one movie? Like, I don't quite follow the plot, but this is exciting.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:42] That's funny. It's like, why was that movie only 20 minutes long? Oh, well.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:16:46] Yeah. And why did they have an ad for popcorn in The middle? It's so difficult to pick this apart as to why this doesn't make sense, because there's so much to it that like, it's just really easy to be like, Hey, JFK would be over 100 years old. How is he coming back? Ok What does Princess Di have to do with this in America? Like, there's a lot of things that just make absolutely no sense, but even if any of it did, the idea of like Q has predicted all of these things, none of which have happened. And so how many erroneous predictions do you get to make before people go, you know, maybe this isn't the right one for us.

Jennifer Field: [00:17:33] I know. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:34] They left out the most important person who's going to save the world, which is Tupac. He's actually part of the coming back. He's part of that group of people coming back. And I can't believe they didn't mention him. He's the main one.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:17:43] That's so that Q can have their one black. Friend.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:48] Well, that's why he's not racist. Because he has a black friend, right?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:17:50] So yeah, he's like Q is like, Hey, some of my best conspiracy theories are.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:57] Exactly, you know, it's just the Internet. You can't keep anything secret. Like, I was asked to do this show, I said no. And then I was asked two more times to do it. So I was like, Well, I do comedy for all types of people. And it was fine. But it was interesting, and especially because I hadn't watched the show beforehand. So when I started watching the show, I was like, What have I gotten myself into? They treated me fine. No, but I did do comedy on the Mike Huckabee show, so I'm.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:20] Oh, wow.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:21] Yeah, yeah.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:18:22] Oh, I've been asked to do a couple of things that of that ilk. There was one where I think it was The Daily CALLER wanted to have me on as a as a panelist and I told them to go fuck themselves. I had posted I posted the email and there were people in it being like, why don't you go there and engage? And I'm like, You mean legitimize?No.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:43] Right, right, right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:18:44] No, I'm absolutely not going to legitimize.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:45] And that's the thing as a panelist, one, either they're going to talk over you and I don't know if I legitimize it as by doing stand up, but I was very particular about my set. I didn't do anything related to black issues or anything that would be like divisive within my own community, you know?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:19:00] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:01] So it was fun and it's kind of like this elephant in the room because I don't know if they think that I agree with them politically. And does my appearance suggest that I agree with them politically? I don't I don't know. Like I'm sure there's country singers who are Republicans who do like The Tonight Show, you know what I mean? Or who do Colbert or whatever. So it is what it is. But it was just interesting. And I don't know how much juice they're going to get out of that. Like we had Dwyane on, you know, that kind of thing.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:19:27] I mean, honestly, Dwayne, I think that's why like you're you're a wonderful comic and you're hilarious and you're above that and you don't need to do that. And like the reason why a lot of Republican singers will are like country singers, like you said might appear on Colbert is because a lot of people with those beliefs don't actually have those beliefs when it becomes inconvenient for them personally. And so like I recommend to people and I'm not going to give you shit about this, but like I recommend to people that principles are expensive. And I recognize that and I recognize that I'm in a privileged place where I can afford to tell people like The Daily CALLER to go fuck off. But. I, I recommend doing it. It's quite enjoyable.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:07] And the thing, it wasn't even for the money, it was just sort of like bridge building, my small version of it.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:20:12] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:12] I mean, that ended up being that, but that was sort of how I thought of it or just justifying it or whatever. But I was inside. I was, I don't know how many, how many people in that studio audience are. Qanon people, you know, who knows? I didn't I didn't get to talk to him about it.

Jennifer Field: [00:20:24] When we come back, we'll put our minds together and figure out what really maybe happened.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:32] We need your help to grow this podcast, which means we need you to subscribe and then write a good review. This helps other people like you find our podcast and see if this is right for them.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:20:42] And if you write a review, we'll send one lucky fan a week. A brand new poster for our podcast. Just take a picture of your review, post it on Instagram and make sure to tag us. We'll choose one lucky winner a week until the next episode comes out.

Jennifer Field: [00:20:55] Now that we've discussed the facts, let's give our theories.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:58] Here's my theory. They missed a deadline. Right. And like Steve was saying, how many times have you missed the deadline? Now, I don't wish anything bad on anyone, even my worst enemy. I don't wish death on them. I only wish death on people who would kill me. You know what I mean? But here's my theory of what's going to happen. I don't think former President Trump is the healthiest physically right. So I'm not wishing so. I don't want people to be clear. But I do envision he might pass away like before the next election or during the next election, and then he becomes a martyr. This Qanon thing is kind of like it's like a blob. It's like a thing hurtling through space and it just picks up other space junk and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. So he passes away, like into some he becomes a martyr and then basically some Democrat gets blamed for it when it all falls out. There's a new religion. So QAnon becomes the new religion and Trump is there like Messiah, and we just have to deal with it.

Jennifer Field: [00:21:55] God, it's scary.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:58] And it'll be a joke, but the further you get away from any religion, the more you can legitimize it because it becomes a faith based thing. Right? So then flash ahead 60 years, maybe 100 years, you go into a hotel, they'll be the Bible, the Mormon Bible, the Holy Book of Mormon, and the QAnon findings. It will just be a bunch of Reddit posts.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:22:18] Well, you know, what's what's crazy about your theory, Dwayne and that I love is that when I think of burning bush, it's like because it happened thousands of years ago, like, okay, I guess. Ok And then you hear the Mormon, the Mormon founding story, you're like, That sounds crazy. I was like, 100 years ago. I don't, I don't buy anything that happened there and then and this this one that you're talking about now, like, we live it. So we're like, that's crazy. But then people will believe it because people they want to believe everything.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:42] Exactly.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:22:42] I think it's particularly ridiculous that the QAnon Bible is called the Q Ran.

Jennifer Field: [00:22:51] Right.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:51] I didn't see that, Steve. It was right in front of me. I didn't see that. That was good.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:22:55] Yeah, that's okay. That's okay. You teed it up. I appreciate It.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:22:59] But I thought you were going to say the I thought you were going to say the art of the deal.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:03] That's funny. That's funny. Yeah. Maybe that's one of the books.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:23:07] My theory is that see before this well, let me take a step back. When I was a kid, I was super obsessed with lucid dreaming. And one of the tricks to lucid dreaming is that every time you look at your thumb in real life, you ask yourself, is this real or is this fake? And I did this as a kid every single time, all the time, hoping that one day I'd be in a dream and I'd look at my thumb and say, Oh, my God, this is, you know, this is a dream. And then all of a sudden, Cindy Crawford would be in front of me, I mean, when I got older. So this whole QAnon conspiracy thing, this whole JFK 19th president, this was my thumb moment. This is when I realized that we are living in a dream and I'm about to manifest everything I've ever wanted in my lucid dream. My wife doesn't know this, but I'm about to marry some really beautiful billionaire. And you know, I'm going to write X-Men nine. My next movie is going to be X-Men nine and my son is going to be in the Major Leagues and what else? Anything else? And Tupac's going to come back and be my godfather.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:02] So basically we're in The Matrix and how long have we something like that, and how long have we been in it?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:08] Not Matrix. We're in a dream

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:09] In a dream. How long have we been in a dream?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:11] This is all been a dream. You know how like when you go when you have a dream and it's like. Like you wake up 1 second later, but you had this really long dream. That's what this is.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:18] But when did when did it start? Or is it? Our whole life has been a dream.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:21] Everything. Everything is a dream. This whole thing has been a dream. We are currently in a dream.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:24] So that means you were trying to dream within a dream when you were a kid,

Jennifer Field: [00:24:28] Right

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:28] You're trying to have a wet Cindy Crawford dream within your dream if I'm following.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:33] Yes.

Jennifer Field: [00:24:33] Yeah,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:33] It's like Inception thing.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:24:34] Koji, I thought you meant that it was your thumb moment because so many of the QAnon supporters look like thumbs.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:45] That's hilarious.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:47] Have any of you had a lucid dream ever?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:48] Yeah. Like a dream where you know you're in a dream.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:51] Yeah. And then, therefore, you can control the dream. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:52] That that I could control. But I think I've had dreams where I'm like, Oh, I'm dreaming. And I've had a dream within the dream too. I've woken up from a dream and still been in a dream that's happened to me before. A few times.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:25:01] When I was a kid, I read an article about lucid dreams and in the article he, you know, the guy who was explaining them talked about realizing he was dreaming. And so he decided to just pick up his arms and fly away. And so that stuck with me. And so now typically when I realize it is a dream, I go, Oh, cool, I can fly. And so then I'll do that. But usually like I'll have a lucid dream as I'm waking up. And so it'll be very, very brief. And then it's one of those things where like as I wake up, I can't fly as high and it's just like I'm just gliding a little and then I wake up like, that's kind of how it works. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:32] That's kind of cool. But I worry when you said that, I just worried about you in a second. Steve So I want you to have a totem, like an inception, like in the movie Inception, something that I don't want you jumping off a building and just being like, Oh, I guess I was awake. And then you just. You know what I mean?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:25:46] Oh, no, I never I never do. I launch myself from the ground each time. I don't just jump off. Yeah. Yeah.

Jennifer Field: [00:25:53] So my. Theory is that Donald Trump is going to run for president. I mean, I guess he thinks he is. He's planning to in 2024 and his vice president is not actually going to be. John F kennedy jr. Resurrected. It's going to be q and this is how it's going to go down is he's going to announce that the official Q person, the person that is Q the mystery person is going to be his VP and then but he's not going to like show up in person for a while, kind of like the J.T. Leroy situation, if you guys are familiar with that. So like, there's going to be just this idea and this mystery and there's going to be like ghosts. And he's going to seem to be in the world but hasn't shown up yet. And then at some crucial point, he's going to have somebody come and pretend to be the Q and they're not actually. Q like JT Leroy did. And it's going to be he's going to have Ariel Pink pose as a. Q But Ariel Pink is not actually Q And so that is how it's going to go down. And then everything will get revealed that this was all just some big con and ploy and maybe there's some legal ramifications for this. And then he's not going to win the presidency because he got in trouble, but he sure as hell got everybody all riled up for a while. That's what I. Think.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:21] So this is kind of like Gorillaz, like the the music band.

Jennifer Field: [00:27:24] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:25] Where they weren't really those cartoon characters.

Jennifer Field: [00:27:28] Right? Like Avatar or a hologram situation.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:27:31] Wait, what?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:32] I. I'm sorry

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:32] but. But the thing about I love the, the rotating Qs I really like that it becomes like almost like a James Bond kind of thing or Princess Bride. The, the pirate thing.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:27:44] Yeah. Dread Pirate robbers. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:46] Is one of the people. But the only thing I would say about that, I love that theory. But history tells us that they double down. They never admit that they're wrong, even when this clear evidence that they are.

Jennifer Field: [00:27:56] Right. Right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:57] I was thinking that they'd keep going. They would keep going with it. They would just be. Qanon I would be the Vice President, whether that was. Q The Q Patriot. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:04] Unless unless Q was black, then it might be like, you know what we got? We've been duped, everyone. We've been Duped.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:28:14] My theory is that from the time of the 2020 election or the 2024 election, a couple of things happened demographically. First of all, society gets more progressive in every generation. The people who were 13 to 17 years old or who were about to turn 14 or whatever. So 14 to 17 years old will then become 18 to 21 and all be able to vote. The vast majority of those people are not going to be voting on the right at all. Not to mention, there has been a little thing that has disproportionately affected old Republicans. A little bit of COVID. And so I think the demographics have shifted in voters a ton. And that is going to start to be apparent in midterm elections and it's going to become more apparent in 2024. In addition to that, demographics have shifted because of telecommuting. A lot of jobs are now online, and thus people who were living in places like Chicago moved to Fort Wayne, people who are living in San Francisco, moved to Stockton, etc., etc. And that is going to shift local elections A lot.

Jennifer Field: [00:29:23] I love That. 

Steve Hofstetter: [00:29:23] If the court system can hold up because the courts have been packed with so many conservative judges. But if the court system can hold up, I think that the right wing house of cards is going to start falling. And because humans are at their very core cowards, the reason that we saw so much open racism and so much open anti-Semitism and so much open homophobia once Trump got elected is because suddenly these people who were too cowardly to have these beliefs, they started coming out of the woodwork because they wanted to feel like they were on the winning side. So once that side no longer becomes the winning side, those same people will pretend that they never had those beliefs in the first place and all will be right with the ship. And I'm an optimist and I'm probably wrong.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:10] What you said was so eloquent and when I'm about to say it's not, but it's like the soccer mom theory. I have a theory like women become soccer moms and then they forget that they once danced on a bar or they went on tour with Usher. You know what I mean? Like, like, all that stuff becomes like. That didn't happen. And I'm just a wholesome soccer mom now, you know what I mean? And that's okay. That's their right to to say it didn't happen because it's probably better. No one wants to know that their mom was on a tour bus With Slim Thug, you know what I mean? But I do like that. And I think within what you said, it's almost like I've always felt the Obama thing was it was good and bad because it made people dig in and and have a visceral reaction. Like they were losing it. Like we never thought a black man would be president. So that signified some kind of loss of your way of life for some people. And it encouraged the tribalism, you know what I mean?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:31:05] Well, identity is you're exactly right, Duane. That identity is a fluid thing. And people write off who they used to be quite easily, you know? I mean, we've all done that. I mean, hell, when I was in high school, I tried to wear knockoff Jenko jeans once. I mean, it's like there are things we've all done that were ashamed.

Jennifer Field: [00:31:22] shameful. Shameful,

Steve Hofstetter: [00:31:23] Absolutely shameful. But I saw it happen when I toured in South Africa. We were being driven around giving this tour and the driver was this lovely man. He was wonderful, and he was this like white guy in his late fifties. And to see him justify the inaction around apartheid, it's cognitive dissonance. If he didn't, he seemed everything else he was telling us. He seemed like a very tolerant, progressive, forward thinking person. And he was justifying who he was 30 years earlier, just basically like, Oh, we didn't know any better. It's like, how could you not have known better? Come on.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:59] Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:32:00] You just you could say you are cowards. You could say that you didn't think anything would change. You could say that you just accepted it. But you can't say that it wasn't as bad as people thought, because then you have to admit that you were as bad as people thought. And that's cognitive dissonance. And that explains a lot of what's going on right now.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:17] Yeah.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:32:18] So I do think that if we get to a place where progress wins out and considering there are still almost 1000 COVID deaths a day and 97% of them are Unboosted, so who do you think that is,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:32] Right Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:32:33] As that demographic dies off and again, not rooting for it, but watching it happen and understanding what it's going to mean as that dies off and as those of us who actually value humanity take over again, then I think a lot of people who were part of the other group will pretend they never were.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:51] Right. Right. And and what's crazy is that some of the elections, presidential election is already won like three times. The president has lost the popular vote and still won because of the Electoral College. Congressional seats are being kept because of gerrymandering and redrawing districts. So it's already like a house of cards in a sense, you know what I mean?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:33:12] There has been one election since 1988 that the Republicans won outright, won, wow. Presidential election. And that was barely won in 2004. And it was won. It was mathematically like within margin of error and it was on the strength of the response to 9/11.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:32] Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:33:33] And that's the only presidential election that Republicans have won outright in the popular vote since 88.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:38] And also, you know, what gives me faith about kind of what you guys are talking about is that, you know, you always you look at polls and you talk to people and especially people who are conservative or Republican. And when they talk about being racist, if you if you really start to nail them down, they're okay. They love their black neighbor or their Asian best friend, but they don't like the Muslims in Mississippi or in New York. You know, they don't like people that they're not even like in their community. Like they hate trans people, even though there's no trans people around them. They just hate the idea of it. But then when they actually get in their lives and, you know, they tend to be like for the most part, I mean, there are openly racist people and bigoted people, but for the most part, I think a lot of these people are actually nice to these people, but they just in theory, you know, they're always scared of the the other the people that they're that they're reading in the newspaper or the terrorists or whatever.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:26] And and I also feel like with the trans issue, like, because in preparation for the show, I watched a few Huckabee shows and there was one monologue he did where he was talking about BLM. And, you know, he was diplomatic about it. And he he said several times that black lives do matter. Right. But he was saying it's not just a term, it's an organization. So he was attacking the organization, not the concept, if you will. Right. And one thing he was leaning into is that on their charter, BLM charter, they talk about either accepting transgender or we don't define family necessarily as man and woman. I don't know what it was. It was it was meant to be inclusive. But I think when he talked about it, it was like they want to destroy the family, you know? So when I think about the transgender issue, I'm like, are Democrats being inclusive and it kind of hurts or are Republicans shining a light on that to scare people? You know what I mean? Because it seems like relative to how many people are transgender, it gets so much. We talk about it so much relative to the percentage of people that fall into that category. You know what I mean?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:35:32] I mean, yeah. But also it's because civil rights movements are always going to continue to move on.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:38] Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:35:39] And in the sixties, obviously, the civil rights movement was inclusive of black people. And then in the mid 2000s, we saw it turn to gay rights.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:49] Right. 

Steve Hofstetter: [00:35:50] And now it's turning to trans rights and it's going to continue to turn to whatever minority group hasn't yet had any sort of piece of the civil rights movement. And while all those movements are dramatically different, that's the concept of minority. Like the concept of minority is it's going to get as we become more inclusive as a species, the minorities that we need to help become smaller percentage wise, but they still are important.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:16] Right Right. It doesn't stop families from existing like but that.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:36:19] Wait, it doesn't. I totally thought it did I.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:22] Right, right.

Jennifer Field: [00:36:25] Okay. We're at the point in the show where we need to pick the unofficial official story, one that will once and for all answer this question. Right. So what do you guys think? Which theory should we go with?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:36:36] I was the only one who was optimistic.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:38] Right. Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:36:40] Like, I think the only other potential optimism was the dream. So I'll go with Koji.

Jennifer Field: [00:36:48] It was all a dream.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:50] I used to read Word Up magazine. I usually pick the funny one or the one that's kind of like the the tongue in cheek one. But because this is such a it's such a ridiculous thing, but at the same time, such a serious thing that I kind of want to go with the the optimistic view. So which is Steve's view that we get over this, the people who are not inclusive or whatever, they kind of mute themselves and you know, and we get back to some kind of a not perfect existence, but a little closer to harmonious, you know,

Jennifer Field: [00:37:20] I don't know. I was really amazed by yours Steve. I'm just like all the little parts to it. So that's my favorite because it was just so like spot on and like, hit me hard.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:30] I like Steve's a lot, but the one thing I would say about Steve is that the smart people on the right, they know everything you said, they know it's all going to happen. So there's some we're trying to retool and figure out how to not let that happen.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:43] I'm going with Steve's because I think it's I think it's the most hopeful.

Jennifer Field: [00:37:46] That is the official story. We're going to take another break. And when we return, we'll figure out which celebrity we want to come back. Princess Diana, Robin Williams and Michael Jackson are all allegedly coming back with John F Kennedy Jr. Which celebrity do you guys want to come back most and why?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:07] My first answer is always going to be Tupac. Because I love Tupac. It's not clear already. It's clear now. But then I started thinking like I loved my dad to come back. That'd be awesome. But then he's not a celebrity. And then I was like, Well, we should just bring Jesus back. I mean, I would love Jesus to come back and just be like, You know what? I hate rich people because that's rich people are not good. You should be helping people. You know, we shouldn't be throwing stones at people. He would he would help the Republican Party. He'd help all the people who use his name and, you know, in a bad way. And he'd he'd really slap everybody and make sure that, you know, the Jesus that actually lived and existed, who was a good person, who really fought for the people that nobody wanted to fight for. If he came back and he told people, that would be a good reckoning for our world, even though, you know, I think people would be like he's not really Jesus. And the whole thing will come out.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:53] Who Is this black guy?

Jennifer Field: [00:38:54] Yeah, right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:38:56] Yeah.

Jennifer Field: [00:38:56] That's a good one. That's a great one.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:59] What I love about that one, Koji, is that I hate when people say Jesus would have been a Republican. I just don't think a guy who gives his life and just I know that was what they wore back in the day, but just walked around with sandals. I just don't think that guy would have been a Republican, you know what I mean?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:14] I mean, he literally told people who are rich, he said, well, the rich people are like, what can we do to help the world? And they're like, give away your money. And like, I mean, that's like the opposite of a lot of people.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:39:24] I mean, I don't know. He didn't he didn't wear shoes. He talked about loving your brother. I mean, it makes sense. Well, of those choices, you know, selfishly, I was like Robin Williams, but then also like he's at peace right now, so I would not want that for him. I think I think I want to stick to just those choices. And I would say Princess Di, because England is also in shambles right now. It's not just America that's dealing with nationalism and right wing extremists. And it it might be nice to have someone that they would listen to who was a progressive person.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:02] Good call. Good call. It's any celebrity and not necessarily those the ones listed there, right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:06] Yeah. It's any celebrity.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:40:08] Those are the only celebrities I know of, though.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:10] Right. Right. This is super tough. So many, so many people went through my mind, you know?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:18] Well, I was I was going to hoping you'd say Biggie. And then I had said Tupac. They could rekindle the West Coast, East Coast beef.

Jennifer Field: [00:40:24] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:26] It's interesting. I would say I almost want to say Malcolm X, but either MLK or Malcolm X because I think they would be super lot older, but I think they would have arrived at some similar point in what they were telling people, you know, which would have been like, I think progressive but constructive, but also not like easy, too easygoing, not like not afraid to rock the boat. I mean, Malcolm X already lived in that space and so did MLK in a different way. I would say one of those two, but I'd say Malcolm X, I think. He was. I love him, MLK I don't want to get in trouble. And I just did the Huckabee show, so I'm on thin ice. But I do think Malcolm X was a maybe I shouldn't say it. Maybe I shouldn't say it. I'll say it I was going to say I think he was less corruptible in a sense. Not that MLK was corruptible, but he you know, he did fall into temptation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So but one of those two I think.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:41:15] Yeah, I would like to change my answer to thinking about it, I think. Carlin because not only would Carlin have such amazing insight of what's going on right now, the amount of idiot people who use his bit about how all politicians are fucking you to justify false equivalence.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:33] Right?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:41:34] And it'd be nice for him to be able to just stand up and be like, Hey, if you actually look at my whole catalog, I said, All politicians are fucking you, but these are also fucking you Worse.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:44] Right Right.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:41:45] And you know, to be able to actually write about what's happening modern day would be excellent.

Jennifer Field: [00:41:50] Yeah, he would be great.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:51] Great call. Yeah, he's he's my favorite comic ever. But go ahead.

Jennifer Field: [00:41:55] You know, Princess Di, Robin Williams, Michael Jackson, JFK and JFK Jr, they all just died so tragically. So it just makes it like that's what I think makes it worse, right? Is when someone dies in a way that didn't feel earned or is taken too soon. So those are all really great options for us. But I was thinking, L Ron Hubbard, because similar to some of the sentiments going on, I would want him to come back to see what the fuck he thinks about what's going on with Scientology right now.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:27] He would buy it. He would be into it,

Jennifer Field: [00:42:28] He would?

Steve Hofstetter: [00:42:29] But he'd be. He'd be he'd be thrilled. He'd be so happy that his scam works.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:33] But what's great about that is yeah, like what I like about that is almost like my theory would Trump if he passes, if he's alive, then eventually, to the extent that he may be a fraud, it's going to be exposed once you die. I think people have a tendency to kid gloves with looking at your life and Then That can start people sort of like romanticizing and making it better than it was, you know.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:42:56] How bad was Rush Limbaugh that no one did that after he Died? But even death didn't help Rush. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:43:05] Yeah, right.

Jennifer Field: [00:43:09] Thank you so much, Steve. Thank you. Thank you for coming on with us. Please tell us where people can follow you.

Steve Hofstetter: [00:43:15] Sure. Just at Steve Hofstetter and pretty much all social media, I have an international tour that I am currently in the throes of. So if you wonder if I'm coming to your city, the answer is yes. Go to my website and check out the tickets and I'll see you there.

Jennifer Field: [00:43:30] Very cool. And thank you all so much for listening. There are 2.4 million podcasts out there and we're honored that you've chosen ours to listen to. So please check out our website, unofficial official story dot com for our show notes or to hear our past episodes. We haven't done this enough, but thank you to all of you who have already rated and reviewed our podcast, like Doug C, who wrote this very kind comment on Apple Podcasts. You know, when you just want to chat with your friends about the crazy conspiracy craziness going on out there, but maybe too embarrassed about how into it you may be. Well, I'm happy I found the unofficial official story because Dwyane, Koji, and Jennifer are my new friends. Oh, and they shamelessly dive into it all. So much fun. Thank you, Doug C Thank you.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:17] Thank you.

Jennifer Field: [00:44:18] Love. And oh we've got another one Steve b Steve b on podcast republic wrote love the show what we love you too.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:27] That was me, by the way.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:29] Wow. You're not supposed to review your own show.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:33] So why not?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:34] We'll talk later. Yeah, I'll explain it to you.

Jennifer Field: [00:44:37] So be sure to come back next month to celebrate Asian Pacific Islander Heritage Month by answering the question, Are the grey aliens the best because they're Asian?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:45] Yes, absolutely. We've already established this, haven't we?

Jennifer Field: [00:44:48] Model minority.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:49] Right. Well, the good thing is that they open later than most other aliens so.

Jennifer Field: [00:44:55] They open later?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:57] I don't know, like where I live, all the Chinese restaurants are open later

Jennifer Field: [00:45:01] Right Right, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:02] It's terrible. All right. Thank you, guys. Thank you, Steve. Bye, everybody.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:06] Thanks, guys. 

Steve Hofstetter: [00:45:07] Thank you very Much.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:08] Thank you.

Jennifer Field: [00:45:09] Bye.