S2E2 Are the Grey Aliens the best because they're Asian? with Comedian Aidan Park

Jennifer Field: [00:00:00] Hey everyone, welcome to Season two Episode two of the unofficial official story. I'm Jennifer and I'm hangry right now because I'm on my 22nd hour of a 24 hour fast.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:12] Hey, guys, I'm Dwayne. I guess I haven't eaten yet today, if that counts for anything. But I am drinking, so I'm obeying my thirst.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:18] And I am Koji and I am waiting for lunch.

Jennifer Field: [00:00:24] This is a podcast where we tell you the official story. We're going to look at the paranormal conspiracies, unexplained phenomena, cryptids and true crime. And by the end, we'll tell you what really maybe happened. In this episode, we're asking the question, are the gray aliens the best because they're Asian? But first, let's meet our guest, comedian Aiden Park. Hi, Aiden. 

Aidan Park: [00:00:53] Comedian. I'm an Asian. I sound I sound not Asian, but I'm Asian.

Jennifer Field: [00:00:59] Is that what people say? They're like, you don't sound Asian?

Aidan Park: [00:01:01] Yeah. Everybody's always surprised. They're like, oh, I sound like a, you know, a white guy from Connecticut. Hello.

Jennifer Field: [00:01:11] Well, they are largely wrong because you're originally from South Korea, but obviously you live in the States now and you are Los Angeles based.

Aidan Park: [00:01:21] Yes.

Jennifer Field: [00:01:22] You are a standup comedian. I know that you're a best-selling author and you're a creator or the creator of the brand, The Art of Being Yay! Which is a best selling book. It's an OMG and NSFW memoir and Guide to Authentic Joy. It was published in 2020. It invites the audience into the juicy details of your personal life, right? So it begins with Aidan's turbulent childhood in Korea is HIV diagnosis at age 19 and ends with the loss of his husband to cancer. In the book and via his comedy, he implements coping skills gleaned from his 15-plus years of study in the field of empowerment, and he's been seen in TV film Comedy Central, Hulu. CBS appeared in over 30 national commercials, 30 theatrical productions and headlines, major comedy clubs, universities and corporate events across the country. Oh, my gosh, you are so accomplished.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:20] And I would be remiss not to mention the fact that he was featured on the second season of my show, the one that I produced called Comedy Invasion 2.0, which premiered this month on Peacock. So if you're out there, please, please, please take a listen to his 30 minutes. It's hilarious.

Jennifer Field: [00:02:35] I wanted to know, Aiden, when was the last time you were in Korea? And do you have a fan base there?

Aidan Park: [00:02:42] I don't think so. I mean, Koreans Koreans don't really like openly gay people.

Jennifer Field: [00:02:47] They're so conservative, right?

Aidan Park: [00:02:49] Yeah, they're super conservative. And so the last time I was there, when I was nine years old was when I was nine years old. Korea is great. If you're straight, you can really build a fan base there. But if you're gay, good luck. So although you know the Bts's boys, I mean, come on. No. No. So, yeah, that's what I would say. But you know, there is a Korean underground kind of gay culture building, so that so I'm happy about that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:19] Yeah, I guess it's a super Christian for the most part. Right? Like I think Christianity is the number one religion in Korea. I think.

Aidan Park: [00:03:26] Yeah, I was born into okay do you know what Baptist like okay like Baptists do like they like believe like yeah ok Dwayne like they believe in the rapture and so everybody goes away. So I was born into a Baptist family. I knew I was gay when I was like four. And I would go to church and they'd be like, Gays are going to hell and everybody's goods is going to get taken up and those who are going to hell are going to be left behind. So from the age of like, I'm not even kidding, like four til whatever, every day I woke up, I was like, I'm going to go to hell and I'm going to my parents are going to be gone. Like, it was crazy.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:00] That's a lot of pressure from a four year old.

Aidan Park: [00:04:01] Yeah. That's how you end up with a standup comedian,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:03] Right Right.  Exactly. Exactly. We said earlier, before we started recording, we used to live so close to each other and we've hung out before. I know you used to make giant bubbles. I think I remember that about you at like functions and kid's parties. I don't know if you still do that. What did you learn from that? What what do you miss about it? Has that experience shaped your comedy at all?

Aidan Park: [00:04:23] Yeah. So I make giant bubbles at children's parties, guys like. Like, I mean, I don't currently do it now. I train people to do it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:29] Oh, nice, nice. I don't know you're still doing it.

Aidan Park: [00:04:31] Yeah, I'm like a bubble conglomerate, and I teach people how to make. I'm like a bubbly person, so it kind of makes sense anyway. So yes, because I've done over, I would say I counted. So I would do let's say five bubble shows a week. That's 250 bubble shows a year. I did ten years of bubbles. So that's 2500 shows.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:56] Wow.

Aidan Park: [00:04:57] And at 2500 shows. Like that's like 1000 hours. You know how that's 1000 hours of mastery, right? You talk to those kids the same way you talk to drunk people at bars.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:09] Nice.

Aidan Park: [00:05:11] You have to figure out a way to get people to follow direction without offending them. And so as a comic, I think I know Koji like four, four our set. Like I had to like not do audience work because you know, but I'm a real audience ork comedian. I love that. I like messing. So my whole thing is like, yeah, like you talk to them like you talk to a three-year-old and a non-offensive way and you know how to build a rapport. It totally helps.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:34] Interesting. That's that's that's so cool. And how did you get into that? Did someone recruit you? Did you just wake up one day and say, I don't make bubbles?

Aidan Park: [00:05:41] I was a waiter because I was acting. And this was even before I started standup. I was such a bad waiter. I don't have an eye for details. I'm clumsy. I bump into things I forget, and I'm loud and clunky, like all those things that are terrible for waiting table but great for bubbling, like, you know, for performing arts. So I was like, so finally after getting fired from my third waiting table job, I was like, All right, let's try something else. So it was actually an act of desperation, which really worked out for me.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:16] That's really cool, man.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:17] So Aidan and we know you wrote this amazing book, The Art of Being Yay. Why don't you tell me the number one tenet that we should that people who are listening should take away from your book?

Aidan Park: [00:06:27] The number one piece of advice that I would say is to resourcing ways to get your emotional needs met is very important. So if you really think about it, you know, I actually researched happiness because I Dwayne's met my husband who passed away. I was very much in love with him. He passed away. I was like, I better figure out how to be happy. That's it. And so I started researching happiness. And in my research I found that it turns out that at the end of the day, anything we want is because there's an emotional result at the end of it. So you might want money because you might want power or safety or security or whatever that is. At the end of on the other side of that thing you want to get right. And Oscar would make me feel a sense of significance or whatever. Michael made me feel a sense of security, comfort or whatever. So if you look at things that way and you focus on, okay, so how can I foster those emotional tones that are significant to me? So I want to foster safety. I want to foster security, I want to foster comfort. But I can't bring Michael back from the dead. He's been cremated into a thousand pieces. God knows where he is in Atlantic Ocean. I don't know where. So how do I get those needs met without having to bring Michael back from the dead? And if you deliberately focus on how you can foster that in a piecemeal sort of way, you can create a life where all of your needs are met and create a very satisfying life experience. But it requires a lot of thinking,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:53] Right? That's so cool. It makes it sound like it's a choice, but it's not a choice. Like you wake up one day like, hey, I'm happy, but it's it's work. You work toward it, you know what I mean? And it's so interesting that you took a step back and actually thought, how can I do the work? I think people think whenever you look at something logically, it takes away from it. But I think it's okay that you can merge logic and emotion sometimes together.

Aidan Park: [00:08:16] Empowerment. I was I trained in empowerment for like 15 years in empowerment world is mostly about getting places, career success, relationship communication. But I hit a point where I was like, I can't apply that to a broken heart. Like, what's the end goal there? Like, there's nothing that I can achieve in this world that's going to help me mend my broken heart. So the end result must be emotion. So I use those clinical techniques into the end result of emotion, and I think that's what I want to help people do that. Yeah, it makes me very happy to do it.

Jennifer Field: [00:08:53] All right, so what do you guys think? Should we get into it?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:58] Let's do it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:59] Wear up.

Jennifer Field: [00:08:59] Here are the Facts.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:09:01] So I've been intrigued about this topic ever since I wrote an article about it on an Asian-American blog called Eight Asians back in 2010. There are people out there who really think Asians are the descendants of the grey aliens.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:14] Yeah. And you know, Koji, you're the first person to ever tell me about this. And I was, like, blown away. I never heard of it before. It was so crazy. First, what are the great aliens? His Wikipedia description. Greys is typically depicted as gray skinned, diminutive humanoid beings that possess reduced forms or completely lack external human body parts such as noses, ears or sex organs. Their bodies are usually depicted as being elongated, having a small chest and lacking in muscular definition and visible skeletal structure. Their legs are depicted as being shorter and jointed differently from humans with limbs proportionately different from a human. Grays are depicted as having unusually large heads in proportion to their bodies, with no hair on the body and no noticeable outer ears or noses. Sometimes with small openings or orifices for ears, nostrils and mouths in drawing grays are almost always shown with very large, opaque black eyes. They're frequently described as shorter than average adult humans.

Jennifer Field: [00:10:18] So why do some people think gray aliens are descendants of Asians? Well, most are based on outdated Asian stereotypes. So here's a few. Asians are good at math and science, so obviously grays are as well because they're all technologically advanced and stuff. Right. And then Asians aren't tall. They have no body hair. Obviously, grays are depicted as short and without body hair. Asian languages are hard and weird. Obviously the Grays language would be that way.

Aidan Park: [00:10:48] In comparison to what? Because English is so easy. I learned English. I learned English. English doesn't make sense. Like what? What is the K in front of the know?

Jennifer Field: [00:11:00] Hardest language in the world. English. Right, right.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:02] Yeah. And plus, it's not like there's not like a bunch of Chinese people in China that don't speak Chinese. It's not hard for them. From when they were kids. You know.

Aidan Park: [00:11:12] I do think that kanji is hard, though. Kanji. That's hard.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:16] Yeah. Yeah. The writing.

Aidan Park: [00:11:17] What? I don't know. It's like a drawing each or something.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:20] There's patterns to it. But yeah, it's, there's a lot they learn. Like think when you're a kid, you learn like 30 new ones a week or something, something ridiculous. Oh.

Aidan Park: [00:11:29] Yeah. You know. And you know why Asians are good at math? I actually did research on this,

Jennifer Field: [00:11:33] Why?

Aidan Park: [00:11:33] Ok So in Asia, the rice harvest, you know, and so in a lot of Asian countries like and also industriousness. So in order to harvest rice you have to get up early and then do things at or early time and then do things like throughout the day. It takes a lot of work to harvest rice. Right. And also there is a way in which you have to be organized like row one, row two row three, row 4, row 5, and then do the other way, row one. So there's an ingrained calculate kind of thing that we like in the 1800s, you know, before industrialization kind of had to follow in order to. So it was like a way of life. Like you get up early in the morning and then you do the harvest and you have to be segmented and organized in order for you to succeed. Otherwise you would starve. So there is an explanation to industriousness as well as mathematics.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:30] You know, I think what's important to East Asians or Asians in general is different than what's important here in the West. So, for example, like in America and the West, they talk a lot about reading bedtime stories at night. Like in Asia, they typically do math kind of math games. So it's a very different kind of like what's important is like being creative here, telling stories, listening to stories, narrative is very important. Whereas Asia, it's like, you know, you do math problems instead. So it's a very I think it's a very different just kind of mindset.

Aidan Park: [00:12:59] In Korea, they literally gave me a gift like, you know, those magnet things where you draw and like, you know, you draw like a map. And then it makes drawing. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:07] Etch A sketch.

Aidan Park: [00:13:08] Etch a Sketch here they call it Etch a Sketch. In Korea, they call it math doctor. That's the name of the toy. It's fun. Tsubasa Math doctor. That's what I got as a kid. So you're right. Koji And I'm really good at math, actually.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:23] nice.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:25] It was difficult to find a lot on this subject. Much of the quote evidence that I found in my original article in 2010 is now gone. But I found this possible explanation for why people have connected Asians and Grays. So back in World War Two, there was this these unmanned Japanese hydrogen balloons. They're called fugo balloons that Japan sent to bomb the continental United States. And this is true so far, but the rest is is not true at all. So some have speculated that there were an experimental balloon glider that actually had Japanese people in it. And when it crashed, people on the ground assumed the dead people they found were actually aliens from out of space. And this is actually a crazy thing. I'll share a real quick is that aliens that they found in the Roswell crash was actually mentally challenged special needs individuals from Russia. So the idea is that Stalin, he saw how freaked out we got when the War of the World with Orson Welles came out. He thought, What if we sent aliens over there and he put people who were people were challenged. He would put he put them in there and then they and when people found him, they're like, oh, my God, these are aliens. It's kind of crazy. But I just wanted to share that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:34] That's wild this was all we could find until we found this Twitter post from 2017. This is a little weird. It says Bruce Lee. It was probably a reptilian hybrid. Of course, the Asians are well known for their dominance in the martial arts. This can be attributed to the superior physiology the Reptilians have and pass down to them. The Asians can excel at any physical activity they choose. They have the genes for it. Bruce Lee himself was probably a reptilian hybrid. When his philosophies became more anti-government. They got rid of him and when his son started asking questions, they got rid of him, too. It's very interesting. I mean, it's like those old kung fu movies when you were like Tiger style, you know, lizard style, you know, which got us thinking maybe we were wrong. Maybe Asians aren't grays, but reptilians. So we did an Internet search. We came upon this page. We're not going to summarize it. We're just going to read it all because it's just too good. The link to the page will be shown in our notes.

Jennifer Field: [00:15:31] Chinese dragons are legendary creatures that are often referred to in Chinese mythology, but are they really myths? Like all myths and tales, there is some truth within the father reptilian. The one who created the Asian race was Emperor Huang Ti, who's also known as the Yellow Emperor. This is 2697 BCE to 2597 BC. He has been said to have lived 100 to 400 years of age. When he died, he transformed into an etheric dragon and flew to the realms of the immortals, perhaps the moon. Because of this, Chinese people often refer to themselves as descendants of the dragon and with good reason.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:07] The reptilian share many physical traits with the Asians. One trait that the reptilian share with the Asians are small. I think in the post it's outted out, but I'm pretty sure they're going to say chinky. So small chinky eyes that that sound, I think that's the word there. The Asians are well known for their dominance in the martial arts. Of course, this can be attributed to the superior physiology the Reptilians have passed down to them. The Asians can excel at any physical activity they choose. I didn't realize that, but because guess we can. They have the genes for it. Bruce Lee himself was probably a reptilian hybrid.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:35] Wow. The Reptilians are known for being cold-hearted and logical and calculating beings because of their reptilian roots. The Asians are left-brain dominant, explaining their natural abilities to excel in math, problem-solving, science and computers. And I don't know if you wrote this, Koji, but. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:51] No, no, I didn't write any of that. This is from the post. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:53] They wrote problem solving with an R was that sort of like to try to be a joke?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:57] No. I think they just wrote that,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:00] Do You see, they literally love them problem solving.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:04] Yeah. They're being racist within the race, within their racism.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:07] Yeah, it's kind of weird. Anyway,

Jennifer Field: [00:17:08] The Asians are obsessed with rituals and ceremonies similar to the Illuminati who are anal about their rituals and dates like numerology, etc. The desire to succeed and be above all others is also a common trait shared between the Asians and Reptilians. You ever wonder why the Asians excel so much at school and in sports? Is their desire to be supreme and above all others?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:28] Aiden, have you ever heard that Asians are obsessed with rituals and ceremonies? Is that something you've ever heard before? I've never heard that before.

Aidan Park: [00:17:36] Nope. Not my. Family. Oh, our only ritual is we get together during the holidays and we're like, we're going to spend time together. And then we go to the penny slots, and then we split up.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:47] Right? Right.

Aidan Park: [00:17:49] We eat for like 30 minutes, and then we split up again. That's our ritual..

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:53] Certainly not more than anyone else. Not. It's not more ritual heavy than any other. Everyone has rituals.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:59] The other thing I take, I take from what Jennifer just said, I take to task is that one of the stereotypes is that we're not good at sports.

Jennifer Field: [00:18:04] I know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:05] So it's weird that they're saying sports because usually, like the stereotype is that we're nerdy and therefore we like to be in front of the computer, which is the opposite of an athlete.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:14] But like, are they including like dance as a sport or break dancing. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:19] Ping pong?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:20] Right. Because there are a lot of Asian break dancers that are pretty dope. I don't know if they're including that. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:20] Aidan you look like you want to say something. What do you want to say? Or you're just taking it all in? I mean.

Aidan Park: [00:18:30] I do think that Asian people, this is how I am anyway. And my family, once we decide we are going to do something, we're doing it.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:37] Yeah.

Aidan Park: [00:18:38] And we're doing it well. And that's it. End of story. The end sports, whatever. Like it's that game over, like, you know what I mean? That's kind of been my experience.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:48] Amy Chua, she wrote the Tiger Mom thing.

Jennifer Field: [00:18:51] okay, Right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:52] What? What they actually found from they found in general that was really interesting is that it's not that the Asians were smarter or better at stuff, but what it was was that their expectations were higher. So, for example, like, it's not that we're going to send our kids to college. It's like you're going to Harvard. It's not like you're going to play baseball. You're being you're going to play on the Los Angeles Dodgers. So the expectations are higher. So what ends up happening is that even if they don't become president, United States, they become a senator, you know, like it's like because they're shooting so high, they end up higher,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:23] Right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:19:23] I thought this was BS until I started talking to my friend, my kids, friends, parents who are of different races and you just listen to them. They're like, I hope my kid gets a school. I'm like, Oh, really? I hope my kid goes Top five college,

Jennifer Field: [00:19:34] Right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:19:35] You know, like, I hope, I hope he's not just playing baseball. He's going to play in the major leagues. Like, this is like kind of what I expect out of him. I think where we go wrong as Asians is that we start to withhold love, though, when you don't reach those heights. And I think that's when it goes kind of wonky.

Jennifer Field: [00:19:48] I agree. I agree.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:51] Right. But at the same time, like you want to merge some of the Western beliefs, but not all of them. You know what I mean? Because you can go the other way and give too much love and give 10th place trophies and things like that, you know what I mean?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:20:04] The Asians are known for their mystical, ancient, spiritual knowledge. The Asians know the true nature of reality as well as the spiritual aspects of the human. Ever wonder why the world's greatest philosophers came from the east? Knowledge of Chi acupuncture duality, which is the yin and yang symbol, spirits, connectedness to nature, etc., was passed down to them from their alien reptilian ancestors. The West has disregarded all the ancient knowledge as hocus pocus superstition. But the Asians know better. Aiden, what is the true nature of our reality? Because you're Asian and so you should know.

Aidan Park: [00:20:38] The true nature of our I mean, the none that I learned from anybody Asian. That's so I don't know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:20:48] Dwayne I'm not going to even ask you because obviously because you're not Asian, you don't know the true nature.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:52] Right? Right.

Aidan Park: [00:20:53] So what does that even mean? What does that mean? Well, what. Does true nature of reality mean? What do you. Think?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:20:59] Unfortunately, only Jennifer Aidan. And I know the answers already to that question and we can't share it with everybody or leave the group.

Aidan Park: [00:21:08] Yes.

Jennifer Field: [00:21:11] Oh, my God. Asian women. If you were an alien God who could create woman in your own image, how would you go about it? It is a well known fact that Asian women are superior in every way when compared to women of other races. Duh I mean, is it any wonder like white guys, black guys, Indian guys, Asian guys? I mean, everybody wants to hook up with Asian women. It's like, who ever says like, Oh, they're not my type? I don't think anyone has ever said that, I guess. Right? I don't know. So anyway, is it because of their superior physiology or facial symmetry? Advanced brains make them more attractive than women of other races. They're good skin. I don't know. Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:54] Can you imagine the person who wrote this?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:56] I know. Right.

Jennifer Field: [00:21:57] Where did you get this? Who is the author of this site?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:01] But sometimes you have to, you know, if you're writing something, you're the hero, anything. Right. That makes sense. The proof is in the media. So they say so the dragons reptilians often use an Asian based entertainment. The Asians are sure proud of their roots. Also, if you go to like Hong Kong, they have buildings with like holes in the center and those are for dragons to fly through. So it's a thing that they keep.

Jennifer Field: [00:22:23] Really?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:23] Yeah, that's the thing. Like if you look up the Hong Kong skyline, you'll see a few buildings and some of the buildings have like the skyscrapers in the middle. There will be a big space. 

Jennifer Field: [00:22:33] I didn't Know that that's so cool. I love dragons.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:22:36] So the question is changed. It's now are Asian Asians, greys or are they reptilian? That's a new question we have to ask ourselves.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:43] Right.

Jennifer Field: [00:22:45] Well, when we come back, we're going to put our minds together and we're going to figure out what really may be happened.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:22:51] We are always on the lookout for podcasts to recommend to you guys. One of the podcasts that we've been listening to and think you should be listening to is the skeptic, metaphysician Metaphysics 101. Listen to this trailer and be sure to subscribe to 

Jennifer Field: [00:24:05] All right, now that we've discussed the facts, let's give our theories.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:09] Okay. Here's my theory. Because the question is, are they Asians, greys or reptilians, or did they come from grays or reptilians? I would say the answer is neither. And here's here's the thing. Here's what happened, though. The reptilian thing. That's just because I think some humanity like if when we first started, like I've been to Australia and when you go to Australia, the wildlife there you see animals that look, they look extinct. You're like, how could that animal exist? It's because Australia is, it's its own thing. It was separated from the rest of the world for so long. So I think that the whole connection to any kind of lizard thing or any giant dragon or anything like that is because those type of animals existed way back in the day and some people remember them and that was passed on. So not like we come from them or anything like that. Just because of the oral tradition of passing down stories when there were things that look like giant lizards. Some people remember those things and they pass it on. And that's why that tradition is still there, that that connection. But in terms of the Greys, the reason why the Greys kind of look Asian is because when aliens first came here, either when they came here or when they prepped on their way, they studied Asian people. Maybe they they either something endeared them to Asian people, either the way they looked or the culture. So they tried to make themselves look as Asian as possible. They were trying to blend in, but they missed they just got it wrong. Either either the intel was wrong or because these aliens, the natural state of how they look, it's either something too grotesque for the human eye to to deal with or it's of like an energy bubble or something. So they had to take as close as they could to a human form and they were going for Asian, but they missed. That doesn't mean Asian people came from them. They were trying to make themselves look Asian.

Jennifer Field: [00:25:55] Oh, but it's good. That's pretty Good.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:58] Here's my theory. We are actually all Asians are actually aliens. We are reptilian aliens inside. So that's why when we're not on camera, not around people who aren't Asian, we could take off our face and be lizards. We're like shapeshifting monsters, you know? Have you ever wondered why there could be, like, ten massage parlors or, like, ten, like, nail places in a row? All these how? All Asians, we all hang out with each other. It's because we're talking alien. You know, we can't talk alien around people who aren't Asian.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:27] So take your face off right now.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:29] Well, see, I'm already going to get killed for what I've done,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:32] Right? Right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:33] So the Asians. The Asians are coming. The Asian slash reptilians are coming for me.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:38] Right. Well, Does this include Indians? Does it include people like from Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia? Like, what's the cutoff?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:46] That's a great question. And Jennifer, Jennifer's a Hapa, so she's mixed.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:49] Yes.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:50] One drop of alien blood means your alien. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:53] OK.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:53] Alien blood is super strong. And so, you know, this is I mean, it makes sense. I mean, everything that person said is true. We're good at math. You know, we do martial arts. We're good at sports. We know the nature of reality. Obviously, all of it is true. I'm going to just I'm going to say it's all true. And if I end up dead, this podcast dropped the news first.

Jennifer Field: [00:27:15] Wait. So so we are reptilian aliens. So we're more we're because reptilian is a type of alien, right? So we are reptilian,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:24] Correct. We are reptilian, yeah. You know that. You're just you're just clarifying. You already know.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:29] Why were you so link with the Grays for so long? What happened there? And according to your your theory.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:34] Well, we don't want people to know that we're reptilians. I see. So we put out we started putting out these other aliens like the Nordics. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:41] Bait and switch,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:42] Five white goddess gods and the Greys. We put them all out there just to trick people. But really, we're just. We're already here, you know? This is why we multiply. So when we give birth, here's another fact. When we give birth, we lay eggs. That's why there's so many Chinese and so many other groups of people because.

Jennifer Field: [00:28:01] Aidan's face.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:28:02] Hundreds Of eggs. Right. Sorry.

Jennifer Field: [00:28:10] This is wacky.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:11] So many doctors would have to be in on it who aren't even Asian.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:28:14] No, no. This is why all doctors are Asian. Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:16] I see.

Jennifer Field: [00:28:20] So mine is that we are neither greys or reptilians. It's but the greys and or reptilian aliens that are out in the universe, they are going to infiltrate and they are going to cross breed with Asians simply because the two countries with the largest population in the world are India and China. And so from far away, the aliens, when they come to visit us and cross universes and go through a wormhole or black hole or whatever to come, then they're going to go, Oh, well, let's just go to China and India first, because we'll be able to infiltrate most quickly there. So my prediction is that we will be greys and or reptilian aliens depending on who visits us first. So I guess this means they haven't visited yet. So we will be. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:13] Interesting. And one other thing, Koji, I want to ask you about your theory. Do like Eskimos count who may have walked across the Bering Straits from Russia?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:22] Okay. Well, first, I don't think we're supposed to call them Eskimos anymore. I think that's I think that's like 20 years ago.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:29] My apologies.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:30] But but, yeah, I think that they are although I think the Native Americans don't want to be considered Asian, so they're probably not. But yeah, the Alieut people are definitely part of the whole.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:43] Very interesting.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:43] Yeah

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:44] very interesting.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:44] So, Aiden, what is your theory?

Aidan Park: [00:29:46] My theory is that Asians are not reptilians and greys, but you know who are Icelandic for sure. Icelandic are great. I mean, Bjork. Right. It's like she's like the true form of that. And then so like we kind of look Icelandic, some Asians, you know, we and so I can see the resemblance. But if you really want to get like, you know, a grey or a reptilian, just look at Bjork. You know, everything she does that is that is pure alien, unfiltered. And so that is what I would say. But also we could be.

Jennifer Field: [00:30:24] Do you want to Be?

Aidan Park: [00:30:30] This podcast is all about like you know, like conspiracy. I don't know what I don't know. Nobody knows what they don't know. So we could be or it could be white people that are the aliens.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:39] That's true.

Aidan Park: [00:30:40] Or someone like we don't know. We don't actually know. And some of those things check out, you know, I'm really good at things when I want to be not quit until I get good at it. I'm totally smooth, although I'm very, very tall. And that part about having no genitals, I have a huge dick so little and then you glow like a giraffe. Some of the things are true, but if you really want the reptilian grey experience, definitely. Bjork. 

Jennifer Field: [00:31:09] Oh my God, that's so good. So we're at that point in the show where we need to pick the unofficial official story, one that will once and for all answer this question. What do you guys think? So, like, which theory do we want to go with?

Aidan Park: [00:31:23] Well, I want to pick mine, but I don't think I'm allowed. So I think Koji is most, most closest to mine.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:32] I like I like Koji. The only thing is that I've known too many Asian people and I don't think that many people can keep a secret. So if you guys are descendants of the Reptilians, I don't think you know it. I think only a few people know it. I don't think every single Asian. You can't trust every single person with a secret. You know what I mean?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:54] You've just never you've never really gotten to know an Asian person. That's all.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:58] Right. Right, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:01] That's part of our we're doing propaganda, basically. You know, we invite people over and say, hey, look at you. Get to know us. You even marry us. But you don't. You never really know we're alien until ever.

Jennifer Field: [00:32:13] I want to go with Koji's, too, because, like, that means that we rule the world because reptilians rule the world, right? Like, I mean, supposedly, like Mark Zuckerberg and stuff is reptilian, though, so I don't know how that works out, but he is married to an Asian girl, so Maybe. I don't know, but I just know Reptilians are like the Illuminati, right? Basically. So I'm down with that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:38] Yeah. It gets all convoluted, but. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. But I like you guys being greys more but. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:46] I don't want to be grey because. Great. So the grey, I don't know how much you guys know about aliens, but greys are like the worker aliens. They're like the they're the ones that do the experiments they bring you on the ship. They're not like they're never the head aliens. The head aliens are always the Nordic aliens, like the tall white aliens.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:01] Isn't ET a grey?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:02] No, no, he's not a grey.

Aidan Park: [00:33:03] Yeah, he's just a weirdo.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:06] Yeah, he's a weird creature. I vote for. I vote for my story.

Aidan Park: [00:33:09] What? This? I did not know we could vote for our own story. I take back my vote.

Jennifer Field: [00:33:17] And that is the official story. So we're going to take another break. And when we come back, we'll figure out the question I'm sure you've been dying to know. Are aliens real? Hmm.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:32] This month, my show, Comedy Invasion 2.0 will be coming out on Peacock. It features some of the best Asian American comedians in this country, including this month's guests. So here is a quick trailer of that show.

Jennifer Field: [00:35:28] We dropped the ball, guys, and we haven't answered the most important question. Are aliens real?

Aidan Park: [00:35:34] There's no doubt in my mind that aliens are real. We would be very limited thinkers if we thought that we were the only ones. That's what I Think.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:41] Well, here's the thing. If we are not in a simulation, which is also a thing that people believe, then aliens aren't completely written because the universe is infinite ever-expanding. There has to be something else out there.

Jennifer Field: [00:35:54] Dude, I hope we're not in a simulation.

Aidan Park: [00:35:57] Well, but we don't know the difference, right?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:59] That's true. That's true. And don't jump off a building because you think this isn't real. You're still going to break your leg. So just want everyone to know that.

Jennifer Field: [00:36:06] Yeah, I agree. Aliens are totally real. There's just too many worlds out there. Like too many planets and universes and galaxies or whatever that their possibility of life. My theory is, though, is that they may or may not have visited us yet. And so they're real, but they're coming. They're incoming.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:36:26] What fascinates me about aliens is always how we conceive of aliens is always based on our what's going on in our culture. So like before 19th-century fairies were a big thing. And if you look at fairy abductions, they're basically alien abductions, little people stealing people, kidnapping people, and then returning them somewhere else later. It's like that's basically alien abduction. You go to the fifties and sixties where it's like, you know, they're brother space brothers and space sisters, and it's more about Earth and saving Earth. And you go to seventies, sixties, seventies, and you see like experimenting and you go kind of now and they're like, already here. Hybrid aliens are here. I don't honestly, I don't care if they're real or not. I think it just says a lot about who we are as people when we when we start thinking about aliens as being real. I do think aliens exist somewhere. I don't know. I'm not sure if they've been here before. Like Dwayne said. Like, it's hard for me to imagine that so many people have kept a secret, you know, other than Asians, that being aliens. Of course we are.

Jennifer Field: [00:37:21] Of course.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:24] You know, all it takes is one person to spill the beans and then it would be over. Right. And like, if the conspiracy is so big that like, you know, that entire parts of the government are working with aliens or have alien technology or any of that stuff, then it would be hard for me to believe that all of them kept their mouth shut, even under the threat of death. Right.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:42] Yeah, I can see that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:43] You know, and it's the same to the D.B. Cooper, right? How many people claim to be D.B. Cooper? It's the same thing. Everyone wants to be famous. So if you knew that there are aliens out there, you would know right away. Pretty sure people would come out right away and say.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:58] We need your help to grow this podcast, which means we need you to subscribe and then write a good review. This helps other people like you find our podcast and see if this is right for them.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:09] And if you write a review, we'll send one lucky fan a week. A brand new poster for our podcast. Just take a picture of your review, post it on Instagram and make sure to tag us. We'll choose one lucky winner a week until the next episode comes out.

Jennifer Field: [00:38:22] All right. So thank you, Aiden, for coming on with us. Please tell us what you got coming up where people can follow you. Anything else you want to share? Because we are so lucky that we got you today. So thank you for coming.

Aidan Park: [00:38:36] You can find me at Aidan park Show That's the same thing on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok, whatever you use, YouTube, you know, all that stuff and can find my book. On The Art of Being Yay com and catch my special comedy Invasion and Season two Episode three It's called The Art of Being Gay. Ha ha ha.

Jennifer Field: [00:38:59] Thank you all so much for listening. There are likely more than 2.4 million podcasts out there, but we're so honored, as always, that you've chosen ours to listen to. So please check out our website. Unofficial official Story dot com. For our show notes or to hear our past episodes. And be sure to come back next month because we're going to celebrate President George H.W. Bush's birthday. And we're going to answer the question Was Britney Spears a government agent for President W Bush?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:34] That's a crazy question.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:36] 100%. 100%. There's no doubt in my head. All right, guys, I'll see you later. Thank you, Aidan. And thank you, everyone. Bye.

Jennifer Field: [00:39:43] Thank you.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:44] Thank you, guys.