S2E8 Is Joe Biden a robot? with comedian Kristina Wong

Jennifer Field: [00:00:05] Welcome, welcome, Welcome to the Season two episode eight of the unofficial official story. What's up, everyone? I'm Jennifer and I'm repping the Giants today with my SF Giants hat. Kristina shouted me out.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:18] Indeed. Hi, I'm Dwayne. And I just realized I'm really tired because I've had a lot of gigs. I never realized it. Like as a comic. I just realized that, like, obviously I sell, I tell jokes. Secondly, I sell alcohol because because of two drink minimum. But I'm also a professional driver. Me and the truck drivers. Yeah. So anyway, tired. But I'm here for this. Absolutely. And for the guest who's a good friend of mine.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:43] And I'm Koji and I have nothing because those two things were totally unrelated. By the way, Kristina, I forgot to tell you, we edit it, so feel free to like and if there's Something that you. 

Kristina Wong: [00:00:54] Like. Dick dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:58] There's something there. Something later that you don't know.

Jennifer Field: [00:01:02] Can we leave that in?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:03] Yeah.

Jennifer Field: [00:01:05] This is a podcast where we tell you the official story. We look at the paranormal conspiracies, unexplained phenomena, cryptids true crime, and by the end, we're going to tell you what really maybe happened. In this episode. We're asking the question, is President Biden a robot? But first, let's introduce our guest, comedian, writer and friend Kristina Wong's in the house.

Kristina Wong: [00:01:31] Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. It's so good to be here. Dwyane was my very first Love,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:38] Right?

Kristina Wong: [00:01:39] Oh, yes.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:40] Right.

Kristina Wong: [00:01:41] You know We've known each other since the nineties.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:43] I guess so.

Jennifer Field: [00:01:45] Love, you guys, like, shared a childhood kiss or like, you guys were fans of each other?

Kristina Wong: [00:01:50] Yes. When we first met, it was like a it was some dance show, right? Some show that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:54] It was a Wu-Tang show.

Kristina Wong: [00:01:55] Was it the Wu-Tang show?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:56] They were performing? Oh, the song that came out after like Triumph. They were dressed like a Fred Flintstone or something. It was.

Jennifer Field: [00:02:06] Oh, yeah. Gravel pit.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:07] Yes, yes, yes, yes. That song had just come out.

Jennifer Field: [00:02:10] Oh, yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:10] And it was on a lot on one of the lots in Burbank or Studio City.

Kristina Wong: [00:02:15] And I just remember I was making fun of a woman who was dancing to sexy for her own good. You know, shaming.

Jennifer Field: [00:02:22] Us.

Kristina Wong: [00:02:22] Is not good now, but it was okay to slut shame then slut shame. But I wasn't calling her out. I was just sort of mockingly do a mock dance next to her.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:32] But it was really funny. It was.

Kristina Wong: [00:02:33] Really funny. And then I saw Dwyane and we kept looking at each other because maybe I thought it was Eddie Murphy, but I was not sure. It turned out to be my friend's roommate.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:44] Aww.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:45] Yeah, Yeah. We hung out. We dumpster dived once. It'sthe only time I've ever dumpster dive.

Kristina Wong: [00:02:50] Well, we tried to.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:51] But we tried to. 

Kristina Wong: [00:02:52] Whole Foods. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:52] They kicked us out. Yeah. Yeah, because.

Kristina Wong: [00:02:54] I see this great book about dumpster diving and all this and just really.

Jennifer Field: [00:02:58] Stuff that's wasted.

Kristina Wong: [00:02:59] And it's like it's. It was there for all 5 minutes, so you might as well just go. Go get it.

Jennifer Field: [00:03:04] Wait. So what happened? You were a dumpster diving at a Whole Foods. You got Caught?

Kristina Wong: [00:03:07] Oh, we try to drive into. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:09] Round the back. And they were like, you know, I think the security guard was like, You can't be here.

Jennifer Field: [00:03:13] They're on. They are. They're used to coming Around and doing it all the time. 

Kristina Wong: [00:03:16] They got to protect that trash.

Jennifer Field: [00:03:19] I guess if you get a dumpster site, dumpster dive anywhere, you might as well start with a Whole Foods, because that's going to be good stuff. 

Kristina Wong: [00:03:23] Was it a Whole Foods? I don't know. I feel like it was maybe Bristol Farms or something Classy.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:28] Something like that. Something like that.

Kristina Wong: [00:03:29] Taste, Dwayne and I have good taste in our dumpsters.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:32] This is the most random thing I've ever heard in my life.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:37] Comedy is a small world, so people. And you weren't necessarily a comic. A comic then, even you know, you're really funny.

Kristina Wong: [00:03:42] You know, I would go to all of Dwyane shows. I had no life and I was like, I would love to do this. But then I was like, You know what? I'm scared of this. So I'll do theater where people are forced to listen to you and not walk out on you or heckle you. And I've done very well in that bridge between the theater and comedy space.

Jennifer Field: [00:04:01] Oh, I see.

Kristina Wong: [00:04:02] Yeah. Because if I'm not funny, it's the audience's fault. Whereas if I go to stand up Club, I'm not funny.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:07] Also, if you're not funny in your space, which you are hilarious, but also it's like if I'm not, if you're not being funny for a given period of time, then you're being compelling.

Kristina Wong: [00:04:18] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes, it is exactly so well doing. You know the World of theater so well. Yeah. Provocative. Compelling. Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:29] Yes. Poignant. Which is.

Kristina Wong: [00:04:31] Poignant. Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:32] I've always I've always struggled saying that word, but.

Kristina Wong: [00:04:34] Poignant basically means boring and personal in on a stand up stage.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:39] Right on the stand up stage.

Kristina Wong: [00:04:41] But in Theater, you are poignant. You get Grant money. So I figured out life. I don't know about you.

Jennifer Field: [00:04:47] Kristina Wong is a performance artist, comedian, writer and elected representative in Koreatown, Los Angeles.

Kristina Wong: [00:04:53] For real [Korean] 

Jennifer Field: [00:04:55] [Korean].

Kristina Wong: [00:04:56] Yes.

Jennifer Field: [00:04:57] Who has been presented internationally across North America, The UK, Hong Kong, Africa. Kristina founded Anti Sewing Squad, a national network of volunteers sewing masks for vulnerable Communities.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:11] In the LA Times.

Kristina Wong: [00:05:12] Yeah, it was everywhere.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:13] It was everywhere.

Kristina Wong: [00:05:14] Good Morning America

Jennifer Field: [00:05:14] Dang Girl Auntie Sewing Squad has a book from University of California Press and her show Kristina Wong. Sweatshop Overlord is a New York Times critic's pick that premiered off-Broadway at New York Theater Workshop, and it's the finalist for the 2022 Pulitzer Prize in Drama and winner of the drama Desk, Lucille Lortel and Outer Critics Circle Awards for Best solo Performance. 

Kristina Wong: [00:05:38] Baby I Rolled out of this pandemic.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:42] I don't I don't see target audience. She was also in a movie called Target. Audience 2.0.

Kristina Wong: [00:05:48] Was I in that? I thought I was a PA for that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:50] No, no. You threw. They threw you scene because I'm in it. Yeah, that's how I know.

Kristina Wong: [00:05:58] Wow. I don't remember.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:59] Have you always been a performer? I mean, is that something that you always.

Kristina Wong: [00:06:02] Well, I'd like to say my earliest performance is middle school. I grew up in San Francisco. There was, like, pick up the back of San Francisco Weekly back when those know those publications were very thick. And there was this like this phone number listed for the the night Exchange. And it was basically. 

Jennifer Field: [00:06:16] I remember. I'm from San Jose hung out in San Francisco all the time

Kristina Wong: [00:06:20] And it was free for women to call, but not for men to call. And it was like for those of us who like prank calls, these were like my earliest performances. But I didn't realize the appeal of the night exchange For most men, you just get to have phone sex with underage girls calling from sleepovers.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:37] What?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:38] I never.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:38] Yeah. What is this. 

Kristina Wong: [00:06:40] Before internet dating in before there was internet, you'd basically you would leave. It was like a party line and you would call and be like, Hey, guys, I'm Cindy. I'm 28 blonde. I like candlelit Dinners. I just want to see who's out there tonight. And you just and you would do that. And then and then. There'd be.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:04] Sounds like Cb radio.

Kristina Wong: [00:07:05] And you would listen to guys go, Hey I'm Mike, I'm in Noe Valley kind of feeling. Kind of. Kind of horny tonight. And you'd leave. You would like, leave each other messages while being live on the line, and then you could request to speak in person. And basically this phone system would play like and it still exists, or at least a few years ago with these girls from high school who I didn't really hang out with super hard. They were the stoners in high school and now I hang out with them in my posts post high school life as an adult. But we were like, What if we called it? And we, like some of them, had had the number memorized and it still works.

Jennifer Field: [00:07:41] Oh my God.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:42] These guys must be getting charged like $5 a minute or something like that.

Kristina Wong: [00:07:46] Yeah, but it's basically completely.

Jennifer Field: [00:07:49] It was like advertised like in the SF. I never called, but I saw the ads or maybe it was like, advertised.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:07:55] Sure you never can be sure. No one ever called is.

Kristina Wong: [00:08:01] The point is I'm a Pulitzer Prize finalist, but my earliest performances were 13 year old phone sex, completely uninformed phone sex.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:09] Were you an Asian person in the phone sex or were you white girl?

Kristina Wong: [00:08:11] No, no. I always like I was I was like, I'm not kind of further like I knew then, even though I know that I was going to was not going to give people further reason to fetishize me. So I. Got to, you know, because you.

Jennifer Field: [00:08:24] You'd had to be an actress.

Kristina Wong: [00:08:26] So I got to be I'm Cindy. I'm a blonde cheerleader for the 49ers. And my my my details were so uninformed, it was like, I want to bounce up and down on you like a bucking bronco. In a tent. And these guys.

Jennifer Field: [00:08:41] At 13?

Kristina Wong: [00:08:42] well. I mean, this is all the information I have for how those worked, you know? So anyway, I'm a Pulitzer finalist now, folks. Now, you know, so all of you kids out there listening who who've been doing phone sex for free, you could one day become me.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:57] Oh, they don't pay you.

Kristina Wong: [00:08:58] They don't pay you.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:59] Do they even meet you to know that you're not?

Kristina Wong: [00:09:01] No, no. On the phone.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:09:04] And that would ruin it if you met the person, I'm sure.

Kristina Wong: [00:09:06] And there would probably be a police situation.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:10] They can. They can be like this. Plausible deniability There.

Kristina Wong: [00:09:14] Those are my earliest performances. And I kind of prided myself on how much I was able to you know.

Jennifer Field: [00:09:19] That's pretty cool. I just did the America Online chat rooms. That was where I got my rocks off.

Kristina Wong: [00:09:24] Oh, yeah.

Jennifer Field: [00:09:25] Curiosity with older weirdo creepy man. Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:29] I have very little experience talking to people that I didn't already know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:09:33] Yeah, except for your work.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:35] Except for, like, stand up. I'm talking to them.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:09:37] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:37] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:09:38] But, you're not talking with them.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:39] Yeah, in terms of, like, stranger chatting or anything like that. I've done a little, but it was like. But, Kristina, you like you, you stay in the news, which I've always thought was like, amazing, you know, back your claim to fame used to be you had the car that ran on French fry grease.

Kristina Wong: [00:09:55] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:56] She converted her car to make it.

Kristina Wong: [00:09:58] I bought a car from some hipsters who thought they were engineers that ran on vegetable oil and it caught on fire in the freeway a year later. And then I was in LA for 12 years with no car. I think the last time I was here, I didn't have a car. I had a scooter that got stolen.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:12] Whoa.

Kristina Wong: [00:10:13] But now I bought a car last year from an older couple for a dollar. And that car is running just great.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:20] Yeah, it runs on sushi.

Jennifer Field: [00:10:23] These are some stories I can't even process.

Kristina Wong: [00:10:26] I can't Process either

Jennifer Field: [00:10:27] So interesting.

Kristina Wong: [00:10:28] So Bizarro.

Jennifer Field: [00:10:29] Wow.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:10:29] What is your mom think of your career.

Kristina Wong: [00:10:31] She's happy. Now. She knows what a Pulitzer is.

Jennifer Field: [00:10:32] So she's. Yeah.

Kristina Wong: [00:10:34] She was calling people like this is. The funny thing is you can apply for a Pulitzer. You pay $75. There's different categories. Journalism and drama. Literature, right. And a documentary, I think documentaries, you know. But anyway, but you so. So I applied to six years ago with my script, The Wong Street Journal, which was about how I went to Uganda, made. A rap album. Anyway.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:59] That was. That was dope too That was dope.

Kristina Wong: [00:11:01] And I. I was going around like, I was like, let's I said to my best friend, Brian Feldman, who also is a very like he he does abstract like performance art. And we were like, let's submit and go around saying that we are contenders for a Pulitzer because that's not a lie. I mean, you submit your contender and because people are so confused with language and, you know, people actually thought I was like, oh, she's a nominee. She's a Nominee. And I won. I, I lost all I lost to this play called Hamilton. But anyway, lost to some play called Hamilton. But I actually was at the announcement in New York. They as Columbia College has put on the Pulitzers for like over 100 years. And you can only show up for the announcement if you have a press pass. So NBC Asian America gave me a press pass and I was like, I prepared three speeches, a concession speech, an acceptance speech, and a speech if I was one of the two finalists. And and they just basically announced all the names, the three names. They're at this thing knowing that we're not going to win and that Hamilton was likely going to win. But yeah, it was that was sort of part of this long performance, right, Like me at this announcement. And then I gave my speeches outside to a camera, my concession speech and stuff, because my mother was like, basically my mother was so obsessed with me winning this award. This is where this all goes back to. But my mother was like, Oh, I could tell people, my daughter's a Pulitzer winner. And I was like, No, no, no, Hamilton's going to win. She's like, You don't know that. Just try. Just try and like, there's like this family altar at my grandma's house. And my mother was like, praying to the gods that I that I would win a Pulitzer. And I was like, Oh, my God, I've created a monster. I've created a monster. So all I could do was sort of run full force with it, like show up at Columbia College with the press pass, you know, sit there, sit there, Hear that I didn't win and then give these speeches after and then write this essay about not being the first Asian American female winner in drama for the Pulitzers. But then six years later, I became an actual finalist.

Jennifer Field: [00:13:05] Right?

Kristina Wong: [00:13:06] Like, so maybe the prayers came, but they just came six years later. Yeah, it was so bizarre. But yeah, she's super proud now. Now. Now.

Jennifer Field: [00:13:14] Interesting. 

Kristina Wong: [00:13:14] Long in the tooth she. Finally out here. But yeah.

Jennifer Field: [00:13:20] Wow.

Kristina Wong: [00:13:21] Now she's finally off my back.

Jennifer Field: [00:13:24] All right, What do you guys think? We should get the story straight once and for all?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:28] Let's do it.

Jennifer Field: [00:13:29] What's going on with President Biden here? All right, so here are some facts. Ever since the election of President Joe Biden. And like, let's be real. Like even before his election, there has been this persistent rumor mostly in QAnon circles, but like even outside of them, that he is a robot, actually, like not just a robot, though, a malfunctioning robot.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:54] We got this quote from a Raw a Raw Story article from March of 2021. We'll put a link in our show notes. Former QAnon believer Ashley Vanderbilt told CNN that one particularly strange conspiracy theory that's recently gained traction in the community has to do with Biden not being a real person. The person that I started talking to that had initially got me into QAnon. He was like, you know, Joe Biden's not even real. She said. That's why he's wearing a mask all the time, because the fake face that he's wearing, the mouth doesn't move correctly when he talks. Yeah. So they really believe that Joe Biden is not even Joe Biden.

Jennifer Field: [00:14:34] So Funny

Kristina Wong: [00:14:36] So weird. And we're going to explore these QAnon theories. But that's what I came here to.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:43] That's what we always come here for. Everything comes down to QAnon at the end of the day. 

Jennifer Field: [00:14:43] Yeah, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:47] All right. So what are some of the evidence that he's a robot? According to a TikTok account, he walks like a robot. Let's check out this video and see if we agree. I'm going to play the video. I mean, you guys can't see it out there, but. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:57] I saw it. Is this the one where his hand hits the thing.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:00] Yes.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:01] Okay.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:02] But we'll just show it to everybody See it.  Ready?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:07] You see that? That robot.

Kristina Wong: [00:15:09] The twitch?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:09] Yeah. Look at. That. That's the reboot.

Kristina Wong: [00:15:11] Oh, so that's nothing.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:13] Well, clearly. Listen, he shrugged his shoulder for no reason. Clearly, he's a robot thing.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:20] There's a link to the video on our show notes, but check it out and tell us what you guys think. Does President Biden walk like a robot? Do you guys think Does he walk like a robot in that video?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:27] Well, I hate to be racial, but a lot of white guys walk like robots, you know? 

Jennifer Field: [00:15:36] Oh, my God.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:37] Especially. And he's from that era where, you know, he probably was trying to like he got to a certain age. He wanted to find his masculinity or be just sort of convey a certain aura. So, yeah, he probably works with a stiffness, but that's probably practiced. You know.

Kristina Wong: [00:15:54] I mean, now this is making me wonder, are all white people robots?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:56] Oh,

Kristina Wong: [00:15:57] That's that's the bigger question.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:00] That's not your theory, is it?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:01] No, no, no, no, no. It's not like my theory. But I've seen, you know, YouTube is a is a you know, listen, you can lose some time on YouTube, but a lot of people do think that white people are angels. Fallen angels?

Jennifer Field: [00:16:14] What? Who thinks that?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:15] I like the robot theory better.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:16] Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Fallen angels. And so, like, 

Kristina Wong: [00:16:16] Fallen angels like they're. What does that mean?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:23] You know, like the number one former fallen angel. You know,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:26] Devil. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:26] Is the devil.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:27] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:28] So it's sort of from that situation. And then they're just sort of, like, always trying to get back. And. 

Kristina Wong: [00:16:33] I thought it meant like, it like a still like a cherub precious moment.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:36] That's what I thought it was too.

Kristina Wong: [00:16:37] White people going, yeah, I still innocent. I've just fallen from the sky. And I'm here Among you. Still an angel.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:43] Right. Right. Maybe. But I think they've been banished. But listen, this is not my.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:48] This is what Dwyane Perkins thinks?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:50] They could be Robots. I don't know. I don't Know.

Jennifer Field: [00:16:52] There are a of Theories here Then. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:53] I Will. I will say this. The only thing I think in a blanket sense, I don't. I don't believe in that kind of stuff. But I do think that white people, when they wear jackets, you know, when they say, oh, I'm cold, they're just doing that for your sake, they're never really cold. You know what I mean? Oh, my God. Because they they know you're cold and they're like, Well, let me pretend to be cold. So. So I hear, you know what I mean?

Jennifer Field: [00:17:18] So they run hot.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:19] They. Well, they just used to cold weather, so.

Jennifer Field: [00:17:22] Oh, because they're from back in the day. Yeah. Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:25] This is the craziest thing.

Jennifer Field: [00:17:26] Yeah, we're going deep.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:28] I'm kind of joking, but at the same time, like, I've been freezing. Like. Like when I've been in England and, like. Like one guy has a, like, a pet coat on. This guy has six layers. Then there's the guy in the t shirt, and he's just walking. And I'm like, He's truthful.The rest of you are not cold. I'm freezing. But you guys are just putting this. This is an elaborate this is like the Truman Show. You're doing this all for me.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:50] You've been thinking about this for a long time.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:52] It's just something I think of, but it's not like I haven't taken it to page or written it. I don't go to the Internet, which is kind of.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:59] I think you've disturbed Kristina. She's.

Kristina Wong: [00:18:00] No, I think white people are like, your Dwyane is opening in this portal that maybe all white people are Robots for us all. And, and, and that this whole body temperature thing.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:15] You've never met a cold robot? Yeah. In fact, I think a robot's optimum temperature is, like, just above freezing. So the circuitry all works, but they don't overheat. Yeah.

Kristina Wong: [00:18:25] Wow. Okay.

Jennifer Field: [00:18:26] Oh, my goodness.

Kristina Wong: [00:18:27] Guys, start a race war with.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:31] I think we've alienated half our audience.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:34] I think they know we we kind of don't mean this stuff anyway.

Kristina Wong: [00:18:37] I do. Okay. And so does Koji.

Jennifer Field: [00:18:41] All right. The latest conspiracy about President Biden being a robot is due to his speech condemning former President Trump and his role in the insurrection. All right. So here's the video in question. And this can be found on President Biden's Twitter page. And as usual, there's a link in our show notes of all the tweets we will discuss.

President Biden: [00:19:00] You can't be pro insurrection and pro cop. You can't be pro insurrection and pro-democracy. You can't be pro insurrection and pro American. Donald Trump lacked the courage to act. The brave women and men in blue all across this nation should never forget that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:17] If you look deep in his eyes, you can see a little word that says buffering.

Kristina Wong: [00:19:21] Yeah.

Jennifer Field: [00:19:25] I mean. 

Kristina Wong: [00:19:26] His eyes look so different.

Jennifer Field: [00:19:27] It's Weird.

Kristina Wong: [00:19:28] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:28] He does. He looks. They show these pictures where he looks completely. Different in Each picture, but that could just be age and or lighting. But his eyes look different in pictures.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:19:37] In that video, he definitely looks like a he does look like a robot in that picture.

Jennifer Field: [00:19:41] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:19:41] I mean, his eyes are very weird. Also, we'll get to this in a little bit, but he doesn't blink,

Jennifer Field: [00:19:45] Right?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:45] I have a joke about that. But what's the it attributed to? Well, people say I don't always do this part of the joke. I almost forgot that I had this. But basically I don't drink. And I've had people say to me, you know, I don't trust anyone who doesn't drink. And I always thought that was messed up because I clearly you shouldn't trust anyone who doesn't blink, because if you don't blink, you're an alien like,

Jennifer Field: [00:20:07] Right. Or a robot,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:09] As it were. So yeah. So now let's read the tweet and then watch the video. That is the evidence that proves he is a robot. And the tweet says, Here's the two videos back and forth. Pay attention to his physical appearance and his voice again, both supposedly from today.

President Biden: [00:20:24] Folks, as we fight inflation, you can't be pro insurrection and pro cop. Bringing down gas prices is a big part of the job. You can't be pro insurrection and pro-democracy. You can't be pro insurrection and pro American. And here's the good news Gas prices have dropped every day this summer. That's more than 40 days in a row. Donald Trump lack the courage to act. We're now have 40,000 gas stations.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:50] Like this one. He's got the crow's feet thing going and then the other one, he's got the.

Kristina Wong: [00:20:54] He also has more pink could be lighting, but it's.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:56] Could be lighting. But his eyes are more open.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:00] Yeah. I mean, once he's not blinking at all.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:02] Yeah.

Kristina Wong: [00:21:03] Sometimes like when I'm doing certain shows or in certain settings and the lights are too bright and make me squint or not, maybe that's that would be that would explain why the difference in a logical level. But we're not here for logic, right? We are here.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:18] Not at All. As we've shown.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:20] This is a logic free zone here.

Kristina Wong: [00:21:22] Yes, I do think this could be a case for. Yeah. Is there, you know, like when you had Legos and you could replace the head of a Lego man with another Lego head like this? Seems like the alternate Biden head was maybe.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:37] Also, some people look like a lot different in profile than they do straight on. And like one of these pictures is slightly in profile. So, like, sometimes it gives you a whole different vibe.

Jennifer Field: [00:21:49] Very true.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:50] You know,

Jennifer Field: [00:21:50] There's that lighting. I agree. Lighting can make you like your eyes react differently, the squinting versus wide eyed. I mean, I can go long periods without blinking.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:00] Well, the thing is, I know we're going to get to it, but it's sort of like you can make a lot of people into a robot. You know, why Biden?

Kristina Wong: [00:22:07] You know? You know who doesn't blink? Mitch Sorry, Mitch McConnell does not blink.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:11] He doesn't blink. Maybe he's a robot, too. Maybe that's why they you know, when people blame you for something, accuse you of something, it's usually usually because they're doing the same thing. So they're like, you guys are doing the robot thing. We know you Are Because they're doing the robot thing you see what I'm saying.

Kristina Wong: [00:22:28] Yeah. And maybe it's like, let's say these white MAGA folks know they're robots and so that the rest of us do not catch on, that we are. We're being overrun and controlled by a robot race. They're going to point to Democrats who are white and say that they are specifically the robots, so that when it is revealed that we have been living inside a robot world, a robot one run world, we would blame the Democrats.

Jennifer Field: [00:22:53] That makes sense. That ties that both of those things together.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:56] Also if he's malfunctioning, why doesn't someone just fix them? I watch Westworld, they bring the robots in all the time and they fix them.

Jennifer Field: [00:23:03] So true.

Kristina Wong: [00:23:05] Not enough STEM programs.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:08] Maybe. 

Kristina Wong: [00:23:08] Like maybe we've run out of engineers. Between the pandemic and lack of STEM education, there's no one left to fix.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:23:15] And no Asian immigrants.

Kristina Wong: [00:23:17] Yeah, Yeah,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:23:17] Yeah. There you go.

Kristina Wong: [00:23:18] No one to fix the robots.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:23:20] Wow. All right. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:22] This is. This may be my favorite theory, by the way.

Jennifer Field: [00:23:25] I know it's so out there,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:23:26] According to one popular conspiracists, the sign he's not a robot is his lack of blinking. This is what the tweet says. The normal human being blinks their eyes 15 to 20 times a minute. On the other hand, there's Joe Biden. And then we saw the video where he doesn't blink. So I'm not going to show that video.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:41] But again, he's not a normal human being, even if let's say he's not a robot, he's the president of the United States. That's not a normal human being,

Jennifer Field: [00:23:47] Right?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:47] I mean, like. 

Jennifer Field: [00:23:48] There You go.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:49] Like I read what's the guys Michael Caine's book about acting. And it's it's not like most acting books. It's not like find your inner truth. What do you want? He's like, don't blink. Look at the camera. You know, like it's real.

Jennifer Field: [00:24:02] Does he say that? Does he say, don't blink.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:04] It's real on on set stuff that you could actually use. He says, Yeah, don't blink. Doing a close Up.

Kristina Wong: [00:24:09] I'm trying to not blink right now.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:12] You're blinking.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:14] Yeah. The same training that an actor would go through. These guys, are they living in front of a camera? So yeah.

Kristina Wong: [00:24:21] Hollywood for ugly people. He's not.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:23] Yeah, he's not. That's hilarious. He's not a regular person who doesn't blink. He's like, you know, he's run for office dozens of times and blinking doesn't instill confidence in people. So he's like, you know, he probably, like, doesn't blink for 5 minutes and then goes off to the side. Like blinks. 800 times in a row. You know.

Jennifer Field: [00:24:45] He's just taking a cue from Michael Caine. And.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:48] Exactly.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:49] Yeah, maybe he read that book.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:50] Yeah.

Kristina Wong: [00:24:52] So I have a theory because I, I it was described Oh, God. This podcast Righting the Wrongs. The writers of Rick and Morty, they were just sort of describing how white people are considered to be people at their factory settings, Right? Like the rest of us of color are sort of considered to be ethnic and weird and diverse. Right? And then white people get to be the baseline.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:16] It's like the MySpace page before you customize. 

Kristina Wong: [00:25:18] The exactly the Way white people are. According to what they've described. The factory settings kind of it's always assumed they can be neutral and sort of be a little bit of everybody and everything and embody all these things. And if we go back to this theory that white people are robots, the robots literally are programmable factory setting, you know,

Jennifer Field: [00:25:38] Wow.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:39] Wow, People, this is crazy.

Kristina Wong: [00:25:40] Yeah.

Jennifer Field: [00:25:41] This is really I think we've we've have we come up with, like a theory that's going to, you know, we're going to help go viral. But yeah, white people.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:49] Are all robots.

Jennifer Field: [00:25:50] Are actually robots and that's why they project and they're blaming. Right. Like blaming. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:56] And if in particular let's leave that that Kristina Wong came up with that one. So that's just. 

Kristina Wong: [00:26:03] With the Dwyane Perkins.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:07] Gosh she's got a cold there.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:09] Yeah the cold thing. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:10] Right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:10] That was like that's like the main proof here.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:12] That's right.

Jennifer Field: [00:26:13] I love it. I love it. So some theories have been made to explain what's happening here, right? Like in this video here could be CGI, deep fake green screen body double hologram or cloned.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:27] Something we found interesting. Disney did make a robot version of Joe Biden for their Hall of Presidents show at Disney World. Could they have made two? Oh, boy. What do you guys think explains what's going on?

Jennifer Field: [00:26:43] Well, I'm starting to wonder if he's a robot because I just want to at least consider it. I'm open. I try to be open minded and free thinking. So when we return, we're going to put our minds together and figure out what really maybe happened here. Now that we've discussed the facts, let's each give our theories.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:02] My first, my my theory is kind of boring, but I'm going to go with it. So this is my theory. Listener, whoever you are, I'm talking to you specifically. Everybody else are robots except for you. That one person listening right now. He or she or they must be making all inclusive. You are not the robot, but everybody else is.

Jennifer Field: [00:27:28] Like Truman Show esque.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:29] So my theory is they're onto something. They just got it wrong. You know how like, you know, people are dating and like, someone will be like, jealous. And I'm like, I hate that girl. I know that girl is into you. And then, you know, like, there's nothing going on. And it's usually sometimes what happens is like the person you don't like, the person you think you're getting a vibe. Your vibe is off, though, right? So it's not like they are cheating, just not with that person. You got the person wrong, but you get the thing right. You know what I'm saying?

Kristina Wong: [00:27:57] Oh, you're close. Close, warm, warmer.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:00] But you're in the wrong. But because you're going down the wrong sort of option there, there's nothing there. You'll never find anything. And you think you're going crazy. It's just you're looking the wrong way. So. Okay. Is there something afoot? Yes, there is. Here's what it is. And they kept talking about this. They all thought, oh, Joe Biden is going to die. Kamala Harris is going to happen.

Jennifer Field: [00:28:19] Right?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:20] He did Die. Oh, what we're saying is this is a Weekend at Bernie's situation.

Kristina Wong: [00:28:26] Yes. So.

Jennifer Field: [00:28:32] This Weekend at Bernie's, that means that's actually his body up there.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:36] I mean, they can they can make the body last longer, and it looks different in different settings. You have to reset and tweak it. And there are no strings. They're using magnets now. So it's a series of magnets that move his body around. But yeah, he died. I want to say like maybe early November, right before the election and now.

Jennifer Field: [00:28:58] Oh, my Gosh.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:00] So the first thing they did when he won, they had him run Out. To instill confidence. Remember he ran out to the podium. Yes. So you guys are not that far off. He's not a robot. He just died a while back. And so they've got someone doing the voice. And this is for four years of Weekend at Bernie's.

Jennifer Field: [00:29:22] Oh, my Gosh.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:23] Listen, if they can do a Weekend at Bernie's 2, then we can have a president. 

Kristina Wong: [00:29:27] We're in it

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:28] Yes. 

Kristina Wong: [00:29:28] We're all co-stars.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:30] Wait, can I get IMDB credit.

Kristina Wong: [00:29:33] Yea and the new apprentice that was going on for four years.

Jennifer Field: [00:29:38] Oh, my gosh.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:39] That's crazy. That's a good that's a good theory.

Jennifer Field: [00:29:41] Wow. My mind is blown. So mine is just that that he So the other day, my friend told me that there's, like, this new, like, limitless drug. So kind of likePeople. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:55] Like the movie.

Jennifer Field: [00:29:56] Like the movie that not I don't remember the name of it because I was like, not supposed he was not supposed to tell me about this. And so he's like, you know, because he's like a celebrity and friends with celebrities and stuff. And I had this other friend that had a cheap access to human growth hormone, and him and his girlfriend would take it. And he was like, that's what all the celebrities do. Johnny Depp takes it and this one person takes it. So it's one of those things where I think Joe Biden, he because, yeah, he's getting older. He just had COVID. Right. Right. For this video. Yeah he he's on some new prescription limitless drug and that's why he was acting weird and that's why his eyes were like that, because he's just like, you know, he's got something. Yeah. In his veins.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:30:38] So he's not a robot.

Jennifer Field: [00:30:39] He's not a robot.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:30:40] He's a.

Jennifer Field: [00:30:41] He's using some kind of special thing that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:44] Compound V in the boys. He's using compound V. You know, what I like is that, you know, you didn't say anyone's name except you. You were fine dropping Johnny Depp's name.

Jennifer Field: [00:30:57] Oh, fuck. We edit that out. Yeah. Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:01] Johnny Depp. If you'd like to come on our show, please. Let us know. We clear the air. Wow. That's That's a great one.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:10] Yeah, I like that one.

Jennifer Field: [00:31:11] And so and it's. This is pretty new, right? So, like, nobody knows what it is, and, like, maybe it'll come out next year, but that's the rumor is there's some new prescription thing.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:21] Why doesn't he blink, though?

Jennifer Field: [00:31:22] Probably because that's a side effect.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:25] He just juiced. He's just jazzed. But but also, it's kind of like what's scary about that is that those kind of things that's going to set off the zombie apocalypse when they when they haven't done the testing on these kind of drugs.

Jennifer Field: [00:31:36] Right.

Jennifer Field: [00:31:37] I'm super excited then.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jennifer Field: [00:31:40] I don't remember the name of it. Hadn't had a name and I heard it and I was like, I didn't want to like, Yeah, I was just trying to play it cool. So I didn't keep asking. Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:48] Kristina, what's your theory?

Kristina Wong: [00:31:49] Well, I do like the the all white people are robots. I want to explore something else for a moment. I'm an elected official myself,

Jennifer Field: [00:31:56] Right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:57] And are you a robot?

Kristina Wong: [00:31:59] I'm a neighborhood council. Koreatown.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:01] Are you a robot, though?

Kristina Wong: [00:32:02] Unpaid? No.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:03] Okay.

Jennifer Field: [00:32:03] Do we Believe you?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:04] Isn't that what a robot would say?

Jennifer Field: [00:32:05] Yeah, right.

Kristina Wong: [00:32:07] It's called something called the political machine. We've heard this phrase, and I very much feel my experience being on neighborhood council. And I'll be very honest with you all. I feel like that dream that you have when you're in school again, but you don't know where your classroom is, what the homework is that that is how I feel serving my elected office. Somehow everybody else seems somewhat more on top of it, but me and I feel like it's because they are part Some of us are chosen to be part of the machine and some are not. And so I think that the fact that it's called a machine is not a coincidence, that there are some who are chosen to have special machine parts installed in them because it is. It is.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:46] Oh, Bionic man, I like this.

Kristina Wong: [00:32:48] It is almost impossible to be human. As flawed as we are and also serve in elected office, we're right now dealing with LA City Council's completely imploding.

Jennifer Field: [00:32:58] I know

Kristina Wong: [00:32:59] right? And it's not saying that I'm empathetic for all these terrible things that people like Nury Martinez said on tape. It didn't have me. You know, when I listen to what they got caught for, I was like, Oh, man, I haven't said things like that, but I have called phone sex chat lines as a 13 year old, will that come back for me? Well, you know, here are examples of of of they know that no one can be who no human can be so perfect in the public eye and be public servant. So certain folks are chosen to have computer robot parts installed in them so that they can function within the quote unquote political machine.

Jennifer Field: [00:33:33] That's amazing. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:34] I like that. And I also like like it kind of taps into what Jennifer was saying that like, you know, you look at the rock, right, Or Kevin Hart, like it's like you're in 20 movies a year. You've got energy drinks. You're just you're owning football teams. It's like, how do you physically do all of this stuff? Right? And I understand you have a staff, but at some point it's like there's something else. And so when you get these things installed, either you're a robot, right?

Kristina Wong: [00:33:59] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:00] Or you're juicing or you're part robot.

Kristina Wong: [00:34:03] Or you're part robot. These city council people who keep they're constantly on tape saying terrible things.

Jennifer Field: [00:34:09] Yeah,

Kristina Wong: [00:34:09] Maybe they were part robot and then they turned turn themselves off, right? They turn the robots off so the human part can have a meeting about redistricting. And that's when we see their flawed human side. And the public face has been this robot this whole time.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:26] So can we go through a couple of names? You could tell me if they're a part robot or not. And so.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:29] Before we pick The theory.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:31] Before we pick the theory. How about Donald Trump?

Kristina Wong: [00:34:33] Oh, it's a different kind of robot. It's like it's like a monster robot.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:38] I think he's not a robot. But they plan on making him into one. Which is. Which is this whole smokescreen is.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:44] About, okay, what about Ted Cruz.

Kristina Wong: [00:34:47] Animal?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:52] Hillary.

Kristina Wong: [00:34:53] Robot.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:53] Robot. For sure.

Jennifer Field: [00:34:55] Poor Hiliary. She gets shat on so much.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:57] What Bill? Bill Clinton.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:03] Not a robot, but he had certain parts made into a robot.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:08] Like his penis.

Kristina Wong: [00:35:09] Waist down. Not robot.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:12] Oh, because that's his flaw.

Kristina Wong: [00:35:14] That was flaw. That's his flaw from the robot waist up.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:20] He's like, Why can't I be a robot down there?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:21] And a waist down could overpower the other circuitry.

Kristina Wong: [00:35:25] Yeah.

Jennifer Field: [00:35:30] Oh, my goodness. So we're at the point in the show where we need to pick the unofficial official story for this. So this is, of course, one that once and for all answer this question. What do you guys think? Which theory do we want to go with? Is President Biden a robot? And if he is or isn't? What's the explanation?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:49] I think we have four super viable theories, even yours, Koji, because.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:55] Even mine, This is no Tupac. It's Japanese.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:59] Because yours gets at the heart of everything, which is like every conspiracy theory is true. You're the only one who's not a part of it. You know what I mean? Like, it gets that on that level. I don't know. I think I like Weekend at Bernie's, but I also like I like the combination of Kristina's and Jennifer's, because I think I think he's probably juicing. I think he's probably had an eye lift. They said, you know, his his ears are different. He probably had a facelift, all this kind of stuff. It's all in the realm of some sort of artificial self-improvement. Right. So it's either juicing or robotic. Being part robot, it's tough. But let's say even if he has a pacemaker, I think that counts. So I'm going to say I like Kristina's theory. He's part robot. I don't know if he has a pacemaker.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:36:43] But you're just saying it. Yeah, actually, I like the Weekend at Bernie's. I think that's just the most fun.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:47] Yeah, that is. That is. That is Kind of cool,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:36:49] Just because it's just I mean, the, the amount of people that would take that would have to do that and the amount of secrecy.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:54] It only takes four People.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:36:56] How would It only takes four people because his whole family.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:59] They don't know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:00] They don't Oh, they don't know too. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:01] Right. It's just the.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:02] Wife, just Mrs. Biden is doing a robot.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:05] They got them, you know, they got them all. What is it, Formaldehyde. They got all of that pump. They got them pumped up and only four people know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:12] Oh, yeah. Okay. Wow. Even better then.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:14] Or six, maybe six total.

Jennifer Field: [00:37:16] I know. I love all these theories. This is a really good episode where every single theory is seems pretty freaking awesome. I would say I like the part robot thing because I've never thought about that. Yeah. Like, what did you call it? Bionic Man or Something?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:30] Oh, yeah. Like there was an old TV show. $6 million dollar man. It's like a guy.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:36] This is when TV was black and white still.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:37] And it was made into a movie, too. Basically, he he he got hurt and he was part bionic.

Jennifer Field: [00:37:46] See, I like that. Because to me, that feels legitimate. Like, that doesn't feel like a conspiracy theory. It feels like that science. Like, you know, that he's an actual robot or a reptilian or a dead weekend at Bernie's type of thing that I think this is plausible.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:03] But he still has free will. Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:04] Kristina, you're our deciding factor here. Which theory is going to be the official theory from this point on?

Kristina Wong: [00:38:09] I can't combine theories?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:10] You could. You could.

Kristina Wong: [00:38:10] I think it's a combination of the weekend and Bernie's and the part robot that I think that maybe Joe Biden is dead, but has been kept alive with a pacemaker and certain robotic parts that have kept him moving in front of us. Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:27] That's a great that's a great theory. Has a great combining of theories

Kristina Wong: [00:38:29] Because You weren't sure, right? The weekend at Bernie's theory, we weren't quite clear how he was being moved around.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:34] Right. I said magnets. I just throw that out there. But yeah.

Kristina Wong: [00:38:37] But I think.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:38] It could be robotic parts.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:40] It could be robotic parts.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:41] I mean, Disney made a robot of Joe Biden so.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:43] Right. And what I like about that is that he's definitely almost dead. But in this scenario, it's still his brain. He's still talking, Right? No one's talking for him.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:53] No, but he's dead.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:54] Right. But it kind of just before he died, Right. Or did he die and someone else is talking or did they upload his consciousness into. Into the cloud. Onto the Cloud.

Jennifer Field: [00:39:04] Yeah. Who's talking. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:05] After you like he died And they're like, we can't find anybody. And then it was like some, like, rapper. There's the only guy they could find. So the voice that comes out is like, all of a sudden, like.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:14] That'd be awesome.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:15] Like an old man. And he's speaking like, in hip hop or something. That would be hiliarious.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:18] That would be amazing. And that would be amazing.

Kristina Wong: [00:39:23] But the sunglasses that he likes to wear, those aviator sunglasses, that's a very weakened of Bernie.

Jennifer Field: [00:39:29] Oh, yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:30] You're Right.

Kristina Wong: [00:39:30] Right. So maybe when he's recharging or whatever,

Jennifer Field: [00:39:32] Right? Yeah.

Kristina Wong: [00:39:34] They got to keep the eyelids open. They put sunglasses on.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:35] So maybe he died. Right? He's part robotic. So it's still his body, part robotic. And then when when he answers questions, they have some sort of decision tree that they've created, sort of like an artificial intelligence, like AI. But based on him, how he would answer some.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:53] Well, there's enough tape on him. Totally.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:55] Oh, yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:55] Like, do you think it's like a deep fake thing.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:56] If he's done enough personality test, which is how the how the election swayed to Trump. Like they had enough information on people to know how how to speak to them, how to have them click on things and go deeper and deeper into certain rabbit holes.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:10] Speaking of former president, though, he's probably upset mostly because he he lost to a dead person.

Kristina Wong: [00:40:15] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:16] He's like What the fuck? I couldn't even beat a dead person.

Kristina Wong: [00:40:19] Well, a non person, non human person, person lost to a dead person.

Jennifer Field: [00:40:28] There you go. Well, said guys. Oh, my goodness.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:31] I like that theory. I like that he's. He's a dead part robot.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:35] Yeah, I like that, too.

Jennifer Field: [00:40:36] Oh, this is amazing. All right, so that's the official story. We're going to take another break. And when we return, we'll do a lightning round on which celebrities are robots. Okay. Since we now know that President Biden is part robot, is that That's how we would call it. Right. What other celebrities might also be robots or part robots, I guess. Here are a few names that have been called a robot online.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:01] Well, the first one is Dwayne Johnson.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:03] Yeah, I haven't mentioned them yet. You don't want to begrudge someone who's successful and has a large bandwidth, you know, and he's worked really hard and he's talented. But I would say, yeah, I think he's a robot only because like, yeah, it's just too much. You know?

Jennifer Field: [00:41:18] Too good to be true.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:18] In a sense. Yeah, in a sense. And if you're not a robot. Dwayne The Rock Johnson My apologies. I smell what you're cooking and I think it's, I think it's circuitry. I think that's what you're cooking.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:30] Well, I'm going to say that the one Asian Pacific Islander American person on this list cannot be a robot.

Kristina Wong: [00:41:38] Yeah, yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:39] I got you I got you.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:40] He's the most celebrity. He's the most famous like. And as the East Asian, I claim him because, you know, there's no other way.

Kristina Wong: [00:41:46] We have nothing else.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:48] I'm going to say He's not just it's just more of a hope than than any kind of evidence.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:52] And yeah, he may not be. He's just really good with time, I guess.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:56] Or Kristina, what do you think?

Kristina Wong: [00:41:59] I'm going to go with? Not a robot. Just. Just maybe has a really good assistant.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:04] Who might be a robot. The assistant might be a robot?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:06] Yeah. There you go.

Kristina Wong: [00:42:07] The muscles might be injections or drugs or steroids or something like that. But yeah. I would say,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:14] What about you?

Jennifer Field: [00:42:15] I would say, not a robot, because I feel like I like him and I only would call people. I don't like robots.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:22] Okay, Interesting. Okay. Well, what do you guys think about Meghan Markle robot.

Kristina Wong: [00:42:25] I have a theory on this?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:26] Oh, let's hear it.

Kristina Wong: [00:42:27] I think when she once she married, when she had to enter Prince Harry in all Sorry,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:33] Enter,

Kristina Wong: [00:42:34] Enter.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:38] Listen it's 2022. You know, whatever they do.

Kristina Wong: [00:42:42] Once she had enter the royal family, that was the that was the political machine moment, right where they were trying to groom her and make her these things. And it was only she had to leave for California to deprogram herself from robotic training Harry as well. And and Oprah, who may or may not be a robot that's this is up for debate. But having a tell all with Oprah was part of her deprogramming from her was part of both Meghan and Harry's robotic deprogramming from the royal family.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:11] Oh, wow.

Jennifer Field: [00:43:12] Oh, So they went and became robots and then they came back.

Kristina Wong: [00:43:15] They came to California.

Jennifer Field: [00:43:16] Right. 

Kristina Wong: [00:43:16] Where they live now.

Jennifer Field: [00:43:17] Right after and.

Kristina Wong: [00:43:19] To deprogram themselves.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:20] Got it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:43:21] It's kind of like if you buy a PC and it's running windows and then you go, you know what? I'm just going to scratch this and put Unix on this thing, you know what I mean?

Kristina Wong: [00:43:30] And Oprah is the software installer.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:43:33] Yeah, she's the one that wiped it clean, installed Unix.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:35] Oh, interesting. I could go. I'll go with that one. I like that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:43:38] Yeah.

Jennifer Field: [00:43:40] That's pretty cool. Yeah, because we had an episode where we talked about British conspiracy theories and we had touched upon that. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:45] Royal conspiracies.

Jennifer Field: [00:43:46] Yeah, Royal royal conspiracy theories that, yeah, she's a robot. So I don't know. I say Meghan Markle's not personally, I don't think she's a robot. Definitely, you know, whether she was or she wasn't, she's not now. I don't think she's a robot.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:58] All right, What about Jeff Bezos?

Kristina Wong: [00:43:59] Robot.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:00] Robot.

Kristina Wong: [00:44:00] No hair.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:01] Robot. I think when we finally realized, Oh, oh, I saw something there. Oh.

Jennifer Field: [00:44:07] No, no, no, no. I was trying to think of a story. No.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:09] Yeah, because I know, I know. She's been on a date with two billionaires 

Kristina Wong: [00:44:12] What?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:13] We don't know with who?

Kristina Wong: [00:44:15] What are you doing here in your sweats?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:19] She's not in sweats. Just kidding. Just kidding.

Jennifer Field: [00:44:22] I'm messing up. Not I should be with them. But yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:26] At some point, when we like, obviously, like the Terminator, the machines take over, but, like, that's not how it happens. They take over, and then before you even know it happens. And then in retrospect, we'll be like, This is the moment they took over, you know? So I think the machines, when Jeff Bezos comes to his power, that's when the machines have already started to take over. He's the robot that they're using to infiltrate all humans.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:50] Remember when Amazon started, everybody was like, why would you buy all your stuff on a website? 

Jennifer Field: [00:44:54] Right,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:54] Like you. Just go to the store.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:55] And It was like only selling Books.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:56] Yeah. And people were like, yeah. And then all of a sudden it's like, it's the only place you buy stuff now.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:01] And Amazon already. I read this or saw this somewhere. They, they already have the capability to deliver everything with drones to, to every door in America. But it's off putting. So we're not we're not ready for that yet you know for just drones flying in the sky with packages. So they're using people for now.

Jennifer Field: [00:45:19] Oh, my goodness.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:20] There's a timer on that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:22] What do you think, Kristina?

Kristina Wong: [00:45:23] Robot. A completely a robot. Yeah. I mean, the the head is like the bald head. That much money and not. Not even one little speck. Have you seen any stubble? Like, you know, some some guys shave when they go bald and the size of you don't even see any, like, hint of growth on the side.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:43] Here's the thing. You know, he he did get he got caught cheating on his wife So what a robot cheat on his wife you know what I mean?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:49] It's all Cover.

Jennifer Field: [00:45:50] Yeah, totally.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:51] Oh, I see.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:52] Jennifer, what do you think?

Jennifer Field: [00:45:53] I think he's a robot. Yeah, like, hate him or something, but it's just, you know, it's so easy. He's so. He's so dang rich. It's just like, Oh, gosh darn it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:46:02] And when you guys went out, I think he didn't pull out your chair if I remember the story right.

Jennifer Field: [00:46:06] Good memory. Good memory. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:07] All right, so we'll do these last three as a group. Lil Nas X, Kylie Jenner and Donald Trump whichever one you guys want to take.

Kristina Wong: [00:46:14] Kylie Jenner for sure.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:16] Is a robot?

Kristina Wong: [00:46:17] But mostly less circuitry, more like a like sort of electronic fluid. Like there's a lot. Of energy into a [inaudible]. Robot. There's a lot like her lip, like there's a lot of pout.

Jennifer Field: [00:46:31] Yeah.

Kristina Wong: [00:46:31] Puff. 

Jennifer Field: [00:46:32] She's doing so much to herself. She's practically part robot.

Kristina Wong: [00:46:36] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:46:38] Yeah, I'd have to. I would say her sister more than her, but I would say, yeah, Robot and Lil Nas x I, I also would say robot. But then the question becomes were they robots prior to us knowing who they were or did something happen and they become part robot?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:55] Well, I'm going to say all of hip hop is a robot now. I mean, I don't know. Did I tell you about this. One of my friends owns a company where they basically create AI rap lyrics or just songs.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:47:05] No, I read about that

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:47:07] And they And then they just hire these these rappers or singers to sing the song and they own they buy them out, right? They say, here's whatever amount of money. And then they and then they own everything. And they're like, this guy's has like, you know, he's like 50 top 100 hits.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:47:20] And when you can AI any kind of art. Then at that point, it kind of stops being art. It's like it's formulaic. 

Kristina Wong: [00:47:28] Porn. If we can figure it out, how to get those real dolls, robotic real dolls to do each other, would we need to have those weird ads on Craigslist anymore looking for people who just showed up in LA?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:47:39] Right, Right. Probably not.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:47:41] Probably not.

Jennifer Field: [00:47:43] This. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:47:43] That's what Westworld is, right? Westworld. 

Kristina Wong: [00:47:45] If we can channel those folks into a STEM school so they could fix the robots. That are doing sex acts.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:47:50] Right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:47:53] What do you think, Jennifer, Out of those three.

Jennifer Field: [00:47:54] Out of these three, I would say Donald Trump is not a robot. I feel like he's too much of a, you know, a loose cannon. So that's what I would say about those three. Donald Trump's not a robot.

Kristina Wong: [00:48:07] How is he still alive with the diet that he has and the I mean,

Jennifer Field: [00:48:12] I know, right?

Kristina Wong: [00:48:13] That's what I've been trying to figure out, like how.

Jennifer Field: [00:48:15] I think he I think he probably takes human growth hormone. Hormone.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:48:19] Maybe he's a nondrinker, too. Right. I think really.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:48:22] He just eats McDonald's all the Time.

Jennifer Field: [00:48:24] Does he really?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:48:25] Yes.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:48:25] Well, you know, even when he had people to the White House, Right. There were stories of he'd invite people in the White House and then he'd like, cater with like McDonald's or Burger King.

Jennifer Field: [00:48:34] Oh, my goodness.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:48:35] Yeah. It's just like.

Jennifer Field: [00:48:36] Gross.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:48:36] I would be upset the first time I went to the White House and they're fucking serving me a Big Mac. I mean, could you imagine? I mean, like, I'm going to eat White House food and you're like Mcdonald's, you know, like, really. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:48:47] That's Crazy. 

Jennifer Field: [00:48:51] Thank you, Kristina, for coming on with us.

Kristina Wong: [00:48:53] You're so welcome.

Jennifer Field: [00:48:54] Please tell our audience more about like, where they can follow you and all that jazz.

Kristina Wong: [00:48:59] Oh, sure. Kristina Wong. Kristina with the cakes. It's Miss Kristina Wong on Instagram and Twitter.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:49:06] And you have a show in Los Angeles.

Kristina Wong: [00:49:09] Yes, I will. I will be in Portland, Oregon, November mid December doing in Kristina Wong Sweatshop overlord at Portland Center Stage. And then I will be at Center Theater Group at the Kirk Douglas Theater in Culver City, February 12th to March 12th.

Jennifer Field: [00:49:22] And thank you all so much for listening. There are almost 3 million podcasts. We're honored that you've chosen ours to listen to right now, so please check out our website. Unofficial official Story dot com. And we have our show notes there. You can hear our past episodes and be sure to come back next month because we're going to find out the answer to the question Did the ghosts of Eastern Airlines Flight 401 haunt other planes?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:49:46] Absolutely. I've been doing research on this, and it's. It's. 

Jennifer Field: [00:49:49] It's freaky.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:49:49] It's great.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:49:50] That's that's interesting, because I didn't know. I always thought ghosts were sort of like. Locked into the geographical location.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:49:57] No what it is. So this Eastern Airlines flight crashed and then they reused parts and other Eastern Airline planes.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:50:03] Oh, you can't do that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:50:05] No, they actually still do that. And so they. So so those people that those those planes that had the Eastern Airlines Flight 401, those planes were allegedly haunted. That's what we're talking about.

Jennifer Field: [00:50:15] Dude.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:50:16] That's exciting. This pinky came from someone else and I keep poking myself in the air. I can't.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:50:24] All right. Well, thank you, Kristina. Thank you, everybody.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:50:26] Thank you so much.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:50:27] Bye. 

Jennifer Field: [00:50:27] Bye.