S3 Best of Season 3

s3 best of Season 3 FINAL MIX & MASTER.mp3

Cat Alverado: [00:00:05] This is the best of episode of the unofficial official story I'm Cat.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:09] I'm Dwayne,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:10] And I am Koji.

Cat Alverado: [00:00:11] And we'll be looking back at our favorite moments from season three. Can you believe we're doing. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:16] It Says Dong.

Cat Alverado: [00:00:20] Dong, when the season's done. You mean done?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:24] I think done, yeah. Okay.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:26] Yes.

Cat Alverado: [00:00:26] Okay. And we'll be looking back at our favorite moments from season three. Can you believe we're done with that? Um hum.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:34] We're keeping all this, by the way.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:35] Yes. You got you, you got you. Truth in advertising.

Cat Alverado: [00:00:38] And we'll be looking back at our favorite moments from season three. Can you guys believe we're done with the season?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:44] No.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:46] Uh, I mean, can I believe it? Yes, I believe it, but it did go fast. That's what you're asking. Yeah. It's, um. Yeah, it seems like when you start, the finish line seems so far off, and the next thing you know, you're in foothills.

Cat Alverado: [00:00:59] I'm going to miss it. I'm gonna miss season three.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:01] Yeah, Season three was fun.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:02] I am too. Season three was a lot of fun.

Cat Alverado: [00:01:04] Let's get into it. What are our highlights from season three?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:07] Well, favorite episode for me was the, uh, emergency Sam Haskell episode.

Cat Alverado: [00:01:11] Oh, really?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:12] I was gonna say that, too.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:13] Yeah,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:13] You copied me.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:14] I'm sorry. Well, because it was, there was a personal tie in to it. You knew his sister. Uh, and it hits different when the person also, you know, when you know the person, it hits different. And it goes to show that psychopaths, uh, live amongst us because it's always. It feels like these are people you see on TV. But sometimes these are people you see at the grocery store. Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:37] And actually, I was going to say I was going to also add that that was the one episode that I've gotten multiple people saying that they actually knew him too, or they were like, not related, but like they had like they had known him or something. So that was that was fun.

Cat Alverado: [00:01:49] Probably We have a lot of listeners in LA.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:51] Yeah,

Cat Alverado: [00:01:51] Yeah,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:51] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:52] Yeah. And it was just great to that. We, you know, were flexible enough to do that. And it ties in to ties in so well to what we already do. And it's very unfortunate situation. But yeah it was it was really cool that we were able to.

Cat Alverado: [00:02:04] Yeah I hope We don't have any more psychopaths that we know episodes because that would involve people dying that we know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:11] Listen to this clip from our special episode about the Sam Haskell Junior case where Cat tells us about Sam's vibe.

Cat Alverado: [00:02:16] You guys. Wow. So I will say he had a vibe. He had a vibe back then and it was like weirdly magnetic. But also something troubled me. I didn't know what it was, but I was like kind of drawn to him. But also like, this is a bad idea and I'm so glad I listened to the part of me that was like, this seems like a bad idea because at the time, like just because I was a church girl didn't mean I had to present that way, right? If I wanted to pretend to be cool, I could have easily pretended to be cool and flirted back, but instead I was like, purposefully like, abundantly annoying in my identity at the time. But yeah, I was fully capable of, like, being cool if I wanted to be, and I didn't because I wanted to push him away.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:59] But what I like about that too is that, like you're honest about, there was some sort of magnetic thing there, but the, the whatever the, um, fear was trumped. That and I think, I think a lot of people, especially women at a young age, you know, we sort of like glorify the that danger vibe.

Cat Alverado: [00:03:17] Yeah. And he had that danger vibe. He had a very like when I think about, you know, how they describe, uh, psychopaths and sociopaths, a couple of key characteristics are that they have like a glib sense of humor and kind of a blank face because they don't have emotion. They don't feel emotion. And he definitely had that blank face, like, just like no emotion at the time because he was like a cute young guy. He just seemed cool.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:44] My favorite moment is actually from the the last episode, episode 11 with Nat. Um, I've been editing it recently, so this is why it's on my head. But, um, it's when, uh, we started talking about, uh, my past life and it derailed. And my favorite part was when, like I said, oh, don't get me started then Dwayne. You were like, yeah, don't get him started. I don't know why. I constantly I really laugh at that moment. And then we went on for like minutes about this.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:07] So we did get you started.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:04:08] Yeah. You did get me started.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:10] Well, um, I'm not one of these people. Like, you can tell me something more than once, you know, um, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't frustrate easily unless you're, like, messing with me, unless I'm like, oh, uh, the fax machine is off, and you're like, is it on? No, it's all, you know, but like, the reason why I said, don't get me started or don't get you started, because you had told me that when we were doing the recording maybe a few times.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:04:32] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:32] And it's really interesting. I don't know why I said that, I guess just because I had heard it before. But I am glad that this life, in this life. You escaped that fate.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:04:41] Yeah. This clip is from our latest episode, episode 11, where I talk about my past life hypnosis session.

Cat Alverado: [00:04:46] The answer is no unless you believe in past lives.

Nat Baimel : [00:04:50] Oh,

Cat Alverado: [00:04:51] Right. Because then they would have thoughts. They'd be like, hey, I was literally just at 9/11 and now I'm a baby with no spine, with a feeding tube, and I. What just happened? Like, why am I a premie Now. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:05] Don't get me started on my past life hypnosis.

Nat Baimel : [00:05:09] Do get started.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:10] Please. Please don't. Actually. Yes.

Nat Baimel : [00:05:12] Oh.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:14] Let me just say this a few times, but it's good. I'll only say this. I only did it because we have a we have a traveling dog veterinarian. And and she was like I was she was like a flower. And like, she's a beautiful plant in the rainforest. And I was like, oh, I want to do this. I want to do this. And let me just say, all mine were super boring and and not fun, but hers was super awesome. And that's that just goes to show that the vet is an amazing human being because she was always like this amazing thing and I was never. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:38] You had a bunch of like, bad relationships and you murdered. Just you killed yourself.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:42] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:42] All of your past lives.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:43] I killed myself in almost every one.

Nat Baimel : [00:05:45] Every one?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:46] Yeah,

Cat Alverado: [00:05:47] Well, I'm Glad life is going well for you.

Nat Baimel : [00:05:50] Koji, We we love you.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:53] Cat, what's your favorite moment? I think it.

Cat Alverado: [00:05:55] Was the second episode I did with you guys, where we had Jasmine Ellis on as a guest, who's one of my best friends, and it was just so fun to, like, have everybody vibing, like, in such a positive, funny way about the episode and to hear her riff and you guys riff and just was like, happy. Yeah, I was I really enjoyed that. And also just coming on to the podcast for this season was really a pleasure.So. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:21] Listen to This clip from episode two when comedian Jasmine Ellis talks about the Smiley Face murders.

Jasmine Ellis: [00:06:25] Is there any connectivity between the sports? Like, do any of them play the same sport? Were they in the same championship, the same league? Is this like a march madness type of thing?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:33] That's funny.

Jasmine Ellis: [00:06:34] That's where it's like, are we taking out I don't know, what are they called pointer guards?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:37] They.

Jasmine Ellis: [00:06:38] Who's in charge?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:39] Point guards. Maybe. Maybe they were just winning the pool.

Jasmine Ellis: [00:06:42] Who is the quarterback of basketball. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:43] Point guard. 

Jasmine Ellis: [00:06:44] Okay. So like is it a bunch of point guards getting killed right before March Madness? Okay.

Cat Alverado: [00:06:49] Actually, this is very Like Sweet Valley High.

Jasmine Ellis: [00:06:51] I'm trying.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:55] I think my favorite moment would be it's somewhere in episode one, because that's when Cat joined us. And, um, I listened back to that recently and just, uh, very pleased with, like, the chemistry, how much of it was already there. And, um, and I think we've built on it. My favorite part of that episode was that in the beginning you were very serious about, you're theories like, oh, none of this could happen. And by the end you're like, aliens, right?

Cat Alverado: [00:07:21] Yeah. My arc from the beginning of this season to now.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:07:25] Well, you couldn't even entertain the idea, but now it's like, oh, of course they're aliens.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:29] And that episode was good too, because we didn't have the guest, so. So we all kind of voted on our own theories. I kind of broke the the tie by switching over to Kojis, and that was kind of cool too, because it really spoke to the writers room that that the show kind of becomes at the end.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:07:46] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:46] And, um, yeah, because mine was a simulation. It was a flat Earth thing. And, you know, as was that we were in a black hole. So it was just like, yeah, it still works. Yeah. It works. And then I think. 

Cat Alverado: [00:07:56] we're just building on things.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:57] At the time, you were like, what? You guys can do that? I think you didn't understand that there were no rules yet. Yeah,

Cat Alverado: [00:08:03] Yeah. No, they didn't tell me.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:07] Check out this clip from episode one when Kat gives us her theory about whether the Earth is flat or not.

Cat Alverado: [00:08:12] My theory is this. And let's I'm going to go by process of elimination. First of all, I actually do believe in scientists and institutions.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:21] Oh, no.

Cat Alverado: [00:08:21] I think a lot of people decide that they don't want to believe in that. And it's largely because there are a lot of religious people in the world. And something happened in the 2000s where the shift there was a shift about like how people felt about science and religion. There were these like atheist activists, speakers like Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, who were like, you either believe in science or you believe in God. And if you try to do both, you're stupid. And then side note also, believing in God makes you stupid,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:51] Right?

Cat Alverado: [00:08:51] And I remember being a Christian at the time.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:53] Einstein, I think, believed in God.

Cat Alverado: [00:08:54] He did.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:55] Yes.

Cat Alverado: [00:08:55] I remember being a teenager at that time and feeling really hurt by that because I was also really religious. And while I managed to kind of like overcome that and like be like, you know what I'm going to believe anyway. And even if they say I'm dumb, I don't think I'm dumb,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:09] Right?

Cat Alverado: [00:09:09] But I think a lot of the rest of the country grew to resent that. And then they went, all right, you say, I have to choose between believing in God and believing in science. Screw you, I pick God, so screw science. And I think that is kind of like the birth of everything falling apart and people deciding they don't want to believe in institutions as people deciding, okay, if you're religious, you're stupid. And they're like, all right, you want to say I'm stupid? Well, then I don't believe a word you say. And from there it falls apart. And I think people deciding that the earth is flat just comes from that. It comes from not wanting to believe all that, because they also don't want to feel like they're stupid. I, for one, think Sam Harris and Richard Dawkins and all those influencers who said people who had to choose between God and science, like all the those guys just because they say believing in God makes you stupid doesn't mean it's true. They're just two guys. Their opinion doesn't really matter. So I choose to continue being both. I won't let someone calling me an idiot for my religious beliefs cause me to completely throw out science and progress and a lot of things that I've done a lot of good in the world. So long story short, I believe the earth is round because I believe in science.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:10:24] But it's. But it's hollow.

Cat Alverado: [00:10:27] So what's your favorite theory that we've come up with?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:30] Okay, this is where I tap back into the Jasmine episode. Uh, Jasmine Ellis theory about the smiley face killer and how we workshopped it. We all had pretty good theories, and, um, somehow she she did a great job of tying all of ours in, and I think she even changed it at the end. I think it ended up being, like, some kind of, like, revenge thing that some girl was doing.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:10:53] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:54] Yeah. And so I really liked that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:10:56] Listen to this clip from episode two. And comedian Jasmine Ellis gives her theory about the smiley face murders.

Jasmine Ellis: [00:11:01] Okay, but like, maybe. Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. What if we track the moon cycles? Because what is becoming a Bigfoot like a werewolf? Like, what if she transforms into a Bigfoot on the full moon and needs a kill? So two weeks before she knows she can't stop herself, she stalks her kills, and makes sure these guys are assholes. They've done bad things. They've they're cheaters. Assaulters. They did all kind of bad things. The terrible guys. And and she has a terrible gambling addiction. And she needs needed. She needs Notre Dame to win. So she's killing the point guard was the title of XYZ teams to make sure you didn't say this is a coroner Bigfoot. So we're saying werewolf.

Cat Alverado: [00:11:38] All of our theories are right.

Jasmine Ellis: [00:11:40] Yes.

Cat Alverado: [00:11:41] And she works for the sheriff's department on top of it. So she's an it's an inside job. Like Dwayne said.

Jasmine Ellis: [00:11:46] It just came Together like a theory cobbler with all the little parts.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:52] Mine was from the last episode, episode 11 with, uh, with Nat. You know, it's funny because I do a lot of the research For a lot of the Episodes, and It always does come down to Jewish people, usually. And it It didn't Hit me until he said it that, you know, everything is Jewish. And I was like, yeah, that is actually the case because in episode one, in the Flat Earth one, we do I do talk about that, uh, there's like anti-Semitism and there's been other ones. We talk about anti-Semitism. And that was the first time I was like, oh, yeah, I guess that's true. It's always it is always Jewish people. So that was my favorite one that, you know, it was the Jewish people who were causing that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:25] And you should be clear that when you say it's always Jewish people, you mean. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:28] That's the conspiracy? That's always the Conspiracy is that's not. Yeah. It's not. Obviously. 

Cat Alverado: [00:12:31] Not Actually them.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:32] Yeah. It's not really them. Yeah for sure Thank you for the clarification.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:35] Absolutely.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:35] This clip Is from episode 11 when Comedian Nat Baimel talks about how all the conspiracies seem to include the Jewish people,

Nat Baimel : [00:12:42] Because I'll listen to a theory like the flat Earth theory is a good example. It's very much like, oh no, the Earth is actually flat. There's a giant ice wall that keeps us from getting off of it, but NASA is trying to keep us from finding out about this. That's why they don't let us, like, fly near the edges of it. It's like, okay, but why though?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:56] Why. 

Nat Baimel : [00:12:56] The Jews? And that's what happens. I've noticed. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:59] Interesting. 

Nat Baimel : [00:12:59] Most conspiracy theories a lot of times when it starts to get to the okay, but why though the Jews? And that's just the overall explanation of oh, they're so powerful, they're so infallible, they're so smart. And I'm just like, oh, keep going. How great are we?

Cat Alverado: [00:13:18] My favorite theory was, uh, on the hello Kitty episode, uh, the theory that it's like secretly Venezuelan communists who are trying to to say that. To say that like hello Kitty and other symbols of capitalism are bad because they don't like capitalism and and so but their method of doing it is just to, like, make a chain letter that goes out to families in Latin America, kind of like Steve Bannon,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:46] Basically your theory.

Cat Alverado: [00:13:47] Yeah. Um, my theory is pretty great.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:50] That wasn't even the official theory, though. Listen to this episode from episode seven. Where Cat gives her theory about hello Kitty.

Cat Alverado: [00:13:57] Okay, so in Latin America, people don't like cats. At least like in Nicaragua, people don't have cats as pets. They think that is super, super weird. And we have cats and my mom's house, we have two. And when we told our family that we had cats, they were super grossed out and they were like, oh, like what? Why? Why would you have a cat? Those are like rats or insects. So I think that when hello Kitty became popular in Latin America, people were just really, really confused because they hate cats. They're like, why on earth? Why wouldn't this be a parrot? We have parrots as pets. This should be a parrot. It should have been like, hello, Polly, Polly the parrot. And you. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:41] We Should start this.

Cat Alverado: [00:14:41] They, like, just could not reconcile it because they hate cats so much. They're, they're like the only way that people in the whole entire world could like hello Kitty is if it was satanic. There is absolutely no way people could not hate cats. So they came up with that theory. They're like someone sold their soul to the devil in order For cats to be likable.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:04] So it is satanic then?

Cat Alverado: [00:15:06] Yes. Well, no. To them, that was the only way that they could reconcile hello Kitty being cute and popular.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:12] I like that theory. It's like, and I like this guy. I'm just joking. But it's kind of like trying to explain Tom Arnold's, uh, success. You're like, oh, it must be.

Caitlin Alyn: [00:15:21] Why Billy Crystal was in rom coms, right? My whole life I've been like this. This is the guy.

Cat Alverado: [00:15:27] Right?

Caitlin Alyn: [00:15:28] What is the lead in. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:29] With Meg Ryan?

Caitlin Alyn: [00:15:30] With fucking Meg Ryan?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:31] It's because he looked like whoever wrote those movies.

Caitlin Alyn: [00:15:34] Oh, 1,000%. There was a really unattractive, short Jewish man writing all those screenplays, being like, finally.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:42] Right?

Cat Alverado: [00:15:45] So, okay, what's one thing we learned or wish we didn't learn?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:48] It's the episode. It's the moment where. Dwayne said that his favorite rides on Disneyland is the Is the castle, the Princess Castle, or Snow White's Castle and, uh, the tram. I went to Disneyland like the week after, and I couldn't get out of my head the entire time. I was like, what the fuck? You know, it's Like. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:05] The tram is quite efficient. Yeah, I really like I was like that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:10] That's terrible.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:11] It gets you from the parking lot to the park and back to the parking lot, I dig it.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:16] Check out this clip from episode eight when Dwayne talks about his. Favorite Disneyland rides.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:21] I guess Disneyland. I just like the castle. It looks kind of cool. 

Sierra Katow: [00:16:24] Yeah, we just walking under that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:26] Yeah, yeah,

Caitlin Alyn: [00:16:27] Just looking at it,

Sierra Katow: [00:16:27] It's a great. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:28] Dude. You're the worst. I know I'm never going to Disneyland with you.

Cat Alverado: [00:16:31] Yeah, but, yeah, like we did it I saw it, I saw it. I can go now. 

Sierra Katow: [00:16:35] You turn right. Around and leave.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:36] And also the when you park that, like the shuttle that takes you to Disney. 

Sierra Katow: [00:16:40] The tram. Right. That counts. I definitely say that counts. It's the best because you're like oh we're going to Disney.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:47] It's like going to Vegas. It's like it's almost more exciting than Vegas. The drive. And when you, you know, you pass. Um, well Bakersfield and I guess like, uh,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:55] The thermometer.

Sierra Katow: [00:16:56] Oh. Primm. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:56] Like an hour later or. Primm. Yes. And when you see the lights, you can just turn around right there. Nothing's good. It's going to happen like you did it. Turn around. Go back home.

Cat Alverado: [00:17:07] I'd say I'm really glad I learned about Panera Plus the coffee membership.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:11] Oh right. Have you done it or.  

Cat Alverado: [00:17:13] I'm Planning to.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:14] Sip club. Sip club?

Cat Alverado: [00:17:16] Is that what it's called? Okay.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:17] Yes. Uh. Uh, last I checked, $14 a month. Unlimited coffee. Uh, tea and soda.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:24] This clip is from Episode eight when Dwayne talks about the.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:27] Sip club. Hello? I'm Dwayne. I'm a little. I'm in a great mood, but I'm a little upset because I tried to call customer service and drop a dime on this guy for, uh, closing the bathrooms at this coffee shop. And then while I was in the bathroom,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:40] Here We go with another Starbucks story.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:41] Call me back, but I will call later, because, um, you can't sell a diuretic and close the bathroom.

Cat Alverado: [00:17:47] Is this another plug for Panera Plus?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:49] No, the Starbucks this ones a Starbucks.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:50] But Panera would never do that. Everyone should go, go, go to the SIP Club because the bathroom is open.

Cat Alverado: [00:17:57] Oh the SIP club. That was the Panera like Disney Plus.

Cat Alverado: [00:18:00] Panera Plus.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:01] I just caught That.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:03] And I'm Koji and I am trying To get Panera to sponsor us. I've been, uh, linking us to Panera all the time to see if they would come in and give us some money. So there you go.

Cat Alverado: [00:18:12] You could at Least give us free Panera Plus subscription.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:14] That would be great. We could maybe we could do it from a Panera.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:16] Oh yeah, we could do it at the SIP club.

Cat Alverado: [00:18:18] Oh, that'd be fun.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:18] Maybe outside.

Cat Alverado: [00:18:19] Ooh, cookies. That all in the sink? Cookies. Hey, look at that plug. We're doing this for free. This isn't. Shut my Mouth.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:27] Imagine what it would be if we Got paid for it. It'd be way different. Yeah,

Cat Alverado: [00:18:30] We'd be Doing, like, Asmr, eating the brownies into the microphone.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:33] And it'd be no mention of the the green. The green store with the mermaid in the front. Cat has experienced supernatural things because from what you said, it's sort of enough. Like even though you're still not too, um, you haven't been sold on it, but I think it's it scares me only because you've told us more than one story. And are these spirits coming with you to these tapings? So that's that's a concern of mine.

Cat Alverado: [00:19:03] I had more, I had more happen to me.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:05] Oh, is that right?

Cat Alverado: [00:19:06] Oh, yeah. Something banged on my door while I was on the toilet.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:19:09] Oh, that was me.

Cat Alverado: [00:19:09] And was it? Was it my Dog. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:14] And you Sure no one else was there or.

Cat Alverado: [00:19:16] No one else was there? And my dog was asleep in another room and yeah, something just hit my my door. And it was really creepy. And also when I was in my bedroom with my, I had like a walk in closet and I heard something in there. So I opened the door and there was a box of my boyfriend's belts that fell on the ground.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:38] I mean That could be gravity, right?

Cat Alverado: [00:19:40] Or no. Yeah, but it had been there for months, untouched and not fallen on the ground. So. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:46] That's true. That's true.

Cat Alverado: [00:19:47] Um, my place is haunted as hell, guys. That's the takeaway there.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:52] And when you when you leave, when you get in the car, do you feel like, uh, is it lighter? Because I'm trying to feel like. 

Cat Alverado: [00:19:59] Something's Following me everywhere, seeking another soul to attach itself to. Is that what you want to hear?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:04] Absolutely not what I want to hear because I haven't, you know, I think I've spoken about my neighbor, and I feel I have a neighbor who is possessed, and it's getting up there in age, and I just don't want to be around when it hops, even though I think it I think it found someone. I think I'm like missing a little transition.

Cat Alverado: [00:20:23] I think you just don't like your neighbors.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:25] No, this one is. Yeah. This one is possessed. And, uh, I think la more people in LA. See, you're like you're lucid, so I don't think it'll happen to you, but, um, LA is a place where I think per capita, more people are possessed than anywhere else I've ever been.

Cat Alverado: [00:20:45] Possessed. How I gotta ask.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:47] They just got something on him. Some kind of a heebie jeebie thing. Like, either a spirit has taken over their body or sharing their body. It's, you know, you know, maybe it just speaks to mental health. But I saw this guy in Starbucks the other day. He was having a full blown argument with himself. And, uh, yeah,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:04] Every Time somebody has a wants to have a meeting on Sunset and Gower Starbucks, I think of you.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:09] Sunset and Gower.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:11] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:11] Good lord.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:12] People always want to meet there for some reason. And I'm like, why are we meeting here?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:15] Let me tell you how crazy that one is. I went there recently. I had to dip in to do a zoom meeting there because I was just moving and groove, and I had to do a quick little zoom meeting. They they don't have chairs in there anymore. Oh, they don't know. They're like. And it's not even a drive through situation. They're just like, you know what? There's like a long kind of table thingy and you can stand there for a few minutes and I don't think they have a bathroom. You know, I think that some of them do a better job of saging than others. And I think if he's sage in the beginning, you can get a little bit of a shield over your situation. The one in Chinatown is pretty bad too.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:50] Oh, really?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:50] Oh. Oh my God, I've never been in there without without something happening. Some sort of incident.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:55] Listen to this clip from episode five when Cat talks about one of her paranormal experiences.

Cat Alverado: [00:22:01] The point being, if Satan wants to get you, he can get you without going through a TV show way more directly. And usually we'll pretend to be something, oh, I have a crazy story. Okay, so there's one. Some more like Christian lore is like, you like images. You're not really supposed to have images of Jesus or saints or those types of things like, those are not good to have. Catholics have them. But we were not Catholic.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:22:25] Oh, God. Um.

Cat Alverado: [00:22:26] So we did have this one weird picture of Jesus. And like, it always creeped me out. Like it felt like the eyes were following me, which, you know.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:35] Monalisa does that.

Cat Alverado: [00:22:37] It's like the picture itself, because it's not holy. It's not good to have a picture. And it's a thing in for Jewish people too. I believe they're not supposed to have. Pictures of God. Yeah. So. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:47] They won't even say God's name.

Cat Alverado: [00:22:48] They won't. They put a little dash for the. O, so the picture was in there, and it was just giving me this weird feeling, like it felt like it was watching me and it felt so creeped out sleeping in this room. And then that night, I swear to God, the bed shook like the mattress. I felt the mattress shake against the bed. It wasn't an earthquake. My bed just moved and I freaked out. I got up, I took the picture and I like, hid it deep in the closet and I put, like, clothes on top of it. I was like, this thing will not watch me. And then I never felt creeped out again. So I don't know, that's like a dumb story,But. 

Jennifer Field: [00:23:22] No, that's crazy. If your bed actually moves,

Cat Alverado: [00:23:24] My Bed actually moved. I swear it did.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:23:25] So you're saying if we want to get possessed, we should get a picture of Jesus and put it in our.

Cat Alverado: [00:23:28] Ironically, yes. Okay. That is one way to do it. But the point is, like Satan is a deceiver, he's not going to go through a stupid TV show with sixes if he can just get you regular style.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:23:42] This clip is from episode three, where comedian Rowan Niles tells us that the water isn't turning people gay.

Rowan Niles: [00:23:47] First of all, the water is not turning people gay. Okay, if it was, I would drink ten times even more of it and I would have even more fun than I'm already having. I have this theory that long ago, once upon a time, there was a husband and wife and the wife came home and she saw her husband in the backyard with the neighbor, another man, and they were smooching. And, uh, he came back inside, you know, she kept it to herself for a few days. And, uh, finally, when she couldn't bear it anymore, she's like, you know, I saw you, and I saw you in Greg. I saw you guys kissing. What's that all about? He's like, honey, it's not my fault. Did you hear the water? The water. It's turning people Gay. Yeah. And then she goes to her book club this week, and she's like, ladies, do not let your husband drink water. They are there are they're turning gay. And they're like, that explains so much I have seen, you know, in all of their husbands are just smooching on the low. That's my conspiracy theory. I think it's just one big rumor that got a little crazy.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:58] Listen to this clip from episode four where Koji explains that celebrities aren't actually aliens. All right, here's my theory. The celebrities are not aliens. They're actually all robots. We're we're all robots. That's the thing. So each of each robot has a different thing, right? Celebrity are like hot robots. Generally they're writer robots like me. There's like actor robots and comedian robots.

Jonesy: [00:25:19] I'm a model.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:20] A model robot. Yeah, you're a failure model robot. Um, but yeah, like every there's different kind and then. But most, most people are just people. But then the ones that are talented like us around this table, we're actually robots or beautiful too.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:33] Right? Right, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:36] Check out this clip from episode five, where the team listens to a song backwards to see if their satanic messages, I Miss My Satan were all saved.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:44] Yeah, you know, here's the thing.

Jennifer Field: [00:25:45] That's a stretch. That's a stretch.

Cat Alverado: [00:25:47] I do kind of hear it.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:48] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:48] I hear it. But. But. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:51] Everything she said now.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:53] But two things. They always talk about this. But does your brain hear a song backwards?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:59] I do,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:00] You do?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:00] Yeah. I'm Asian. Everything's. You know, we could hear backwards and forward. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:04] Is. Do you read left to right? I'm trying to understand.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:06] Yeah. Because in in Asian we read right to left backwards and up and down.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:11] I don't think my. I don't think my brain two things two things I don't think my brain doesn't process a song backwards, but two, I'm just convinced every song backwards is mentioned. Satan.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:24] Listen to this clip from episode six, when comedian T.K. Kelly tells us Nick cage isn't a vampire.

TK Kelly: [00:26:29] I'm going to start by saying Nicolas Cage, not a vampire. Definitely not, because there's nobody in Hollywood who would more enjoy you to believe that he is a vampire. He he's buying castles he can't afford. He's starring as Dracula. This is hard. This is not the behavior of a of a real vampire, right? Keanu Reeves? Absolutely. He's got the quiet confidence of a man who has lived several centuries. And I think he turned Elijah Wood sometime in the 90s, because that dude has he of all of them, he's the most suspicious. But we saw him as a kid, so we know unless he's an alien like Cat posited, he we know he was born here as a child, but I think I think Keanu gave him the bite somewhere around the mid 90s.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:12] Interesting.

Cat Alverado: [00:27:13] Like he was as familiar maybe.

TK Kelly: [00:27:14] Yeah, maybe. He definitely has a Renfield vibe. And I feel like also, I like to think that Keanu is only turning people who he believes can be trusted with the power. He's like, Elijah's a good dude with a good heart. He's going to give his money away to other people just like me,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:28] Right?

TK Kelly: [00:27:28] I'm gonna turn him. So my theory is that there are vampires, but it's only the few outstanding nice people in Hollywood.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:35] Only people that would, like really go to middle earth and back for you.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:40] This clip is from episode nine, when Cat explains to us the story of Jesus in Japan.

Cat Alverado: [00:27:44] The key to Shingo's Christ cult lies in a scroll purported to be Jesus's last will and testament dictated as he was dying in the village. A team discovered the scripture in 1936, which was a long time later. The manuscript, along with others allegedly unearthed by a Shinto priest around the same time, fleshed out Christ's further adventures between Judea and Japan and pinpoint Shingo as his final resting place. Curiously, these documents were destroyed during World War Two.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:28:17] What a coincidence.

Cat Alverado: [00:28:19] Allowing it to house only modern transcriptions signed Jesus Christ, Father of Christmas. Inside a glass case. Even more curiously, Jesus lived during Japan's Yayoi period, a time of rudimentary civilization with no written language.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:28:42] Listen to this clip from episode ten. When I make it clear I don't want my son to be chemically castrated. Wait, wait. So let me just say I'm really tough on my son. He wants to be a major League Baseball player. I hope he never thinks that I chemically castrated him. Like, I hope. That's not right.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:56] Well, but then. Then don't do that. Yeah, he won't make it if you don't do it.

Cat Alverado: [00:29:01] As long as your son goes through actual puberty, odds are he will not think you chemically castratedi hm.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:06] Yeah, but yeah. I just want to make that clear on this podcast.

Michelle Malazaki: [00:29:10] But for the sports, the athletes, they don't. They need to be the. 

Cat Alverado: [00:29:14] True. 

Michelle Malazaki: [00:29:15] Opposite of castration.

Cat Alverado: [00:29:16] Yes.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:17] So maybe they put an extra testicle. So you have. Four.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:19] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Cat Alverado: [00:29:24] But most of all, this episode we wanted to thank our listeners. Our podcast has grown beyond our wildest imaginations in the last three seasons, and we are humbled and thankful that you all spend your time listening to us. And we're grateful for the reviews on Apple Podcasts, so please keep them coming. Uh, here are some of the messages you guys have left us.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:44] Actually, I Like the, uh, the most recent one on January 31st of this year by Mr. H. Henderson. I assume that's Mr.. Could be. Well, we shouldn't gender anybody. They're a person.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:55] Yes.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:55] They're they say a gem with a gem little icon. And it says the chemistry among the hosts makes it an absolute gem. I like that. That's a nice one.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:03] That's really cool. That's really nice. Thank you. Henderson Henderson.

Cat Alverado: [00:30:07] So this is from Gahagan in August 2023. Intriguing and entertaining. The host of unofficial Official Story Podcast never failed to deliver captivating content, and this episode is no exception. Exploring the connections between a beloved 90s sitcom and secret societies is a stroke of genius. The conversation with Jennifer Field adds depth and authenticity to the discussion, making it a must listen for fans of both pop culture and conspiracies.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:30:33] Oh, that's a good one.

Cat Alverado: [00:30:34] The mix of humor, research and speculation keeps listeners engaged from start to finish. Oh, I like this one. Oh, oh, these are these are sweet. Um, this one says from Petty Washington. Incredible podcasts, incredible podcasts, incredible podcasts. And then, like 20 heart emojis. Um, this other one from PA 99 says simply the best. Have never heard a podcast with so much relatable content.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:00] Oh. That's great.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:01] That's really cool.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:01] I hope they relate to me or not. You guys. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:03] Probably So with all the alien stuff. Yeah.

Cat Alverado: [00:31:06] Okay. Ooh. This one's from Ralph Wood. Brilliant work, brilliant minds at work. With a side of laughter, the host not only delved deep, delved deep into conspiracies, but also present them in a way that's entertaining and captivating. I am hooked.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:20] That's pretty Amazing. And you know what's really amazing is that we didn't write these.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:24] Yeah. Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:26] You know what I mean?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:27] Yeah, that's the best part.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:28] I like this one from, um, going a ways back almost almost a year, lol. From um, April 14th, 23. Listen, while I'm driving to and from work, the morning laughs helped to start my day and the afternoon helps get over. And I've had it day. I've had a day. So we helped her to work. And then after work.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:49] That's great.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:50] That's that's or I don't know why I said her this person I like this one actually. Oh again this is going way back. But um, Jabari, he says, uh, some smiley faces, I think, with hearts and a wink, um, like hanging out with friends. Funny and genuine. I think that's solid because I think, you know, we're trying to capture, uh, my whole thing is we're at a podcast, but we could be at a diner having these same conversations, and. And you, the listener, you're with us at the diner, and hopefully you feel represented, and we feel that you're with us as well. So,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:25] Yeah.

Cat Alverado: [00:32:25] I feel like that's what makes a podcast good. As you listen to it and you feel a little bit less lonely, you feel like you have friends or is that just me. Am I. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:32] Right? No, it's me as well.

Cat Alverado: [00:32:35] Thank you guys all for the great reviews. Be sure to subscribe to our show anywhere you usually listen to your podcasts, visit our website. Unofficial official story. Com to listen to any of our past episodes. And if you're not following us on our socials, you're missing out on even more great content. Find us on Instagram, x and TikTok. And finally, be sure to come back as we kick off season four in April to find out the answer to the question, did aliens write the Bible?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:01] Really, really interesting stuff. You have to go. Yeah, we'll talk about it because it's like, what language did they write it in that's going to.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:08] Oh, I'm writing reading a book about aliens and Bibles right now. It's like, so my son is studying the Old Testament, and every time he's like, well, you know, are you sure that's God? If it was alien.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:20] Yeah. So maybe they built the pyramids. And then they said, here's a book. You know, maybe they did both. Oh, no, it's deeper Than that. 

Cat Alverado: [00:33:25] Hypothesis. It's deeper than how much you want to bet it was the Jews.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:28] It was the Jews.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:30] Well, it really was, in a sense.

Cat Alverado: [00:33:32] Right. Because. Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:36] They did that one. That was that was that actually.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:38] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:39] All right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:39] Thank you guys so much for listening. And thank you all. And we look forward to seeing you all.