S4E6 - Did aliens visit Zimbabwe to tell children the world was ending with David Kau

Cat Alvarado: [00:00:00] If you saw an alien as a child, who would have believed you and who would have assumed you were lying?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:05] I don't think anyone would have believed me. I mean, I don't think I ever told you guys the story of when I became a writer. I was on a baseball team, and I was on the bus, and I used to make up stories about what happened to my family, and they were just basically lies. And then my coach said, you should become a writer. And that was the first time I was like, maybe I should become a writer, because everything was everything out of my mouth was a was a lie. But but yeah. So no one would have believed me.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:29] Or you could have become a lawyer.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:30] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:31] For me, I'm very unique in that. I think all the people that mattered would have believed me. I think my mom, my grandma, basically, when I was a kid, I got into a lot of fights. I got into a lot of trouble. And, you know, they didn't, like, condone my behavior, but they always had my back. So I think everyone would have believed me. No one would have deterred me. I would have been like, no, I saw it, you're bugging. And I probably would have like, I would have asked the alien for like some sort of a artifact, like a laser gun or something. And then I could shoot anyone who Who doubted me.

Cat Alvarado: [00:01:00] My dad, my dad would believe me and then everybody else wouldn't believe us. My dad was always in my corner. So I remember one time I think I made up a ghost story when I was like five. All my current ghost stories, by the way, 100% real. But I made one up when I was like 4 or 5 and, and, um, and my dad believed me, my mom, she doubted it.

David Kau: [00:01:22] So I think the kids in the neighborhood would definitely have believed me. But with black people, especially in South Africa and how we grew up. So remember, we grew up separate from where white people lived and black people lived separate. So if you understand the concept of witchcraft, there were times when we were growing up and they would say they caught a witch, or they found a witch who was flying on a broom, and then they got stuck somewhere. Then half the township would run and go and see or go look at this place or area where supposedly this witch was stuck there or fell, you know, from Bewitching or flying at night and stuff. So we always believe that growing up. So if someone then said, yo, there's a spaceship somewhere, you don't even have to convince anyone. So literally anyone, anyone who's able bodied. So you might find like old grannies who can't really walk or walk too slow, or the kids would be the first ones running there or trying to go find this. And then your adult, your people in their 20s or 30s or despite their profession, people would first want to go and see, but they wouldn't outright say, there's no way you're crazy. You didn't see an alien. They would want to. They would want to find out where, and then they'd want to go check it out before they dismiss it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:45] That's fair. Actually, that's pretty fair. You know.

David Kau: [00:02:48] So because of our belief in some of the, you know, and things about ancestors, about witchcraft and traditional healers or So sangomas if you want to call them that, because most people believe in that, then you kind of also believe in the power that comes with it, or that it's possible someone can make something like an alien ship land or fly, or take off or even fly themselves.

Cat Alvarado: [00:03:16] Wow.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:16] What if they didn't see it, though? What if they came and then they didn't see it? Then they would dismiss you, or they would be like, oh, they left.

David Kau: [00:03:22] Just wait for the next time. They wouldn't think you're crazy. They they literally now start asking you, uh, what else did you see? Who else was there? You know, when do you think it's coming back?

Cat Alvarado: [00:03:36] I like it.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:37] That's great.

David Kau: [00:03:37] They wouldn't. They wouldn't outright dismiss you.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:46] Welcome, welcome, welcome. This is season four, episode number six of the award-winning, unofficial official story I am Koji.

Cat Alvarado: [00:03:52] I'm Dwayne and I'm Cat. And this is where we tell you the official story. We look at the paranormal conspiracies, unexplained phenomena, cryptids and true crime. And by the end, we'll tell you what really maybe happened.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:05] We'd love to hear from you. You can send us a message by clicking on the Contact Us button on our website, or even leave us a voicemail. Click on the microphone button at the bottom of the home page. Tell us what we got right or tell us what we got wrong. Tell us how much you love us or hate us. Or if there's a topic you think we should cover or you think you'd make the perfect guest. Let us know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:04:25] In September, we celebrate the 30th anniversary of one of the most intriguing UFO cases. And we're asking a very important question. Did aliens visit Zimbabwe to tell children the world was ending? And by the way, one thing real quick, before we get into this, I just want to mention that one of the really interesting things about this case is that UFOs tend to be very European and American. So one of the things I love about this case is that it's not in Europe or America, that it's somewhere else. But before we get to that cat.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:51] Our guest is a, um, I, you know, I, I hit him on late notice. This guy is guy's one of my dear friends. I don't see him quite enough. Um, we met in Montreal. He literally, I think, has the distinction of being the first stand up comic in South Africa. He actually, or at the very least, he started the scene. He grew the scene. He's a great comedian, great filmmaker, good friend of mine. I went to his wedding. And when I tell people when I meet South Africans and I tell them I've been to Nelspruit, they lose it because they can't believe I know where that is. But the very funny, hilarious David Kau is with us. Wow. That's one of his, um, signature noises. What's up Dave? How are you, man?

David Kau: [00:05:34] I'm all right, man. Like, just me and my three kids. I play some golf doing gigs. Uh, no. Covid was quite horrible for me. Took forever because I was. Went in for, like, two years, you know, so I haven't even made movies. I think I had made over 30 movies by 2019, you know, from over like seven years. I produced, written, directed like 30 movies, TV shows. So I shut down my production company during Covid and I have never I've never reopened. But we're trying to work on on a few projects. Remember Bliss Patrol? The cop movie is on Netfli.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:10] I do. 

David Kau: [00:06:11] Working on a sequel with another streamer has got a licensing deal with another streamer.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:15] Oh, that's cool man. Congrats. Who's the colored guy in that? Is it is his name Joey?

David Kau: [00:06:18] Joey. Joey Rothstein.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:19] Right. And colored means it means something different in South Africa. In case you're wondering, it means mixed.

David Kau: [00:06:24] Originally, the first colored people would have come out of a mix of black and white. But then some of the stories are. Then when the Dutch arrived and before apartheid started and all that, they found black women in the Cape. And then they kind of, you know, help themselves. And that's where most of the original colored people came from. But remember my wife, my wife's dad was Greek. The mom is Zulu, so she looks colored, but she's not colored. She's mixed. So there's people that are colored and there's people that are mixed So if you were dad was chairman and your mom was black or African in South Africa, you'd be mixed or you'd be half German.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:01] Oh, I see, I see. So. 

David Kau: [00:07:03] But you look you look colored. People would assume you are colored.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:07] Trevor Noah is mixed.

David Kau: [00:07:08] Trevor. Trevor Noah is mixed. Um, so people would assume. But then colored people would cliam you. So, for instance, in sports, especially Joey Rasdien that upset about it? Uh, you know, we got Wayde van Niekerk, one of the runners, or I think he's a medalist from a previous Olympics. He got a lot of soccer players that are coloureds. You got this chick now, Tyler, this singer chick who won the Emmy and yada yada. She's been all over the place from South Africa. So people will then claim whatever race that they want you to be. So I see colored people will will say, I know Tyler is colored. Trevor Noah is colored. But Tyler may come from two colored parents, and Trevor came from a Swiss father and a mother and a black mother.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:52] I see, I see, I see. How about Doja Cat?

David Kau: [00:07:55] Doja Cat I don't know her mom. I don't know if her mom is white, but I know her South African dad is black. The black South African, but I don't know her mom. I don't know much about her history. I just know her dad is South African.

Cat Alvarado: [00:08:04] The stuff about the colour, the the different definition of of coloured versus mixed. I'm still wrapping my head around it.

David Kau: [00:08:10] I use coloured freely and that's when I got to the States and I think, I don't know if it was Dwayne or someone else, you know, I don't know why I used the word coloured and they were like, yo, that's a derogatory term in America.

Cat Alvarado: [00:08:22] It is, it is. 

David Kau: [00:08:23] In South Africa is a race. So back in apartheid, if you had to fill in forms, maybe at the bank or at the home affairs when it says race, even when you're registering for bus when it says race, there's four boxes, there's black, white, Indian, coloured. So you'd have to pick your race and that's it. Especially obviously during the apartheid.

Cat Alvarado: [00:08:44] People who are mixed but of a specific background of mixed then became defined as coloured. But then people who are more recently mixed or they don't count.

David Kau: [00:08:54] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:08:55] Okay. Interesting. I that is, you learn something new every day.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:00] Here we have black people do this. White people do this. Maybe you might have white people do this. Black people do this. Latino people do this in South Africa. It's like black people do this. White people do this. Indian people do this. Colored people do this. Each example you can give five different examples. And then even within black you can say Zulu does this Talsa does that. You know what I mean.

Cat Alvarado: [00:09:21] I mean we have that with Latino culture. We, um, you know, we'll be like, Ida Rodriguez is the best with this. But she has bits where she's talking about, well, you know, Dominicans are like this and they think they're better than Haitians. And then the Cubans think they're better than the Dominicans, and then the Puerto Ricans think they're better than everybody because they're citizens. And there's, um, that's her punchline. It's a good one. Um, but we really do have those hierarchies. People from Argentina think that they're better than everybody because they're actually Italian there. Oh we're not. Oh we're not. We're not Latino. We're European. Actually, they make a big deal about it. Like if you try to. Oh, yeah. No, you're Latin American. They'll be like, no Italian. We're okay. Okay, get over yourself. So we definitely have those hierarchies.

David Kau: [00:10:07] So like you said, people would assume or give you a race. So people think my wife is colored because she's light-skinned. And like I said, her dad is Greek and her mom is Zulu. People think my wife is colored or would say, yeah, but you're married to a colored and I'll be like, it's almost like offensive. And also for her because one also I've colored people in South Africa speak Afrikaans because remember I said they are almost descendants of Dutch, Afrikaans and a mixture of black, right? So they speak Afrikaans as their first language. So some of them, some people would walk up to my wife and automatically start speaking Afrikaans to her and she's like, I have no clue what you're talking about.

Cat Alvarado: [00:10:50] I have a random funny story about Afrikaans. One time before phones, before we had smartphones, and we had GPS. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:00] Before Phones 1800s. I'm sorry.

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:01] Yeah. When we had like, Garmin's, I remember one time I was out of town, I think I was maybe how was I doing comedy? I don't know, I was like in San Francisco. I did not know where I was going. My Garmin got stuck on Afrikaans and I had to get home.

David Kau: [00:11:15] That's hilarious.

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:16] I didn't know how to change it, but I kind of understood it. So it was like in Spanish. If I was reading Portuguese, I was like, oh, uh, it was scary.

David Kau: [00:11:28] So we have 11 official languages, right? It used to be just English and Afrikaans, but then the Afrikaans we were forced to learn by the apartheid government, which was their language. So I know the basics just to survive writing an exam. Because if you fail a language, you fail the entire year. Uh, back during apartheid. So most of black people in South Africa and most people in South Africa were forced to learn Afrikaans up until a certain time after.

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:59] So what I'm understanding is you would have gotten home with that.

David Kau: [00:12:01] I would have helped you get home to some extent, but I can never fluently go full on with with an Afrikana.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:17] Uh, okay, let's get the story straight once and for all guys.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:20] Yep. Let's get it started.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:22] Okay, so this is this whole story fascinates me. Thank you for finding it Koji. On September 16th, 1994, about 60 children at the Ariel School outside of Ruwa  Zimbabwe allegedly saw a UFO land in a playground while out while out during recess. It was like 10 a.m. in the morning, one of the children told BBC told the BBC reporter a few days later it looked like it was glinting in the trees. It looked like a disk. Like a round disk. Another said they saw something silver amongst the trees.

Cat Alvarado: [00:12:54] Some of the children also saw an alien. One told the mail and the Guardian I could see the little man, about a metre tall, was dressed in a black shiny suit that he had long black hair, and his eyes, which seemed lower on the cheek than human eyes, were large and elongated. The mouth was just a slit, and the ears were hardly discernible.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:18] And allegedly the aliens didn't speak. Using their mouths, they spoke to some of the kids telepathically. Some of the students reported being told to protect the Earth's environment and not to pollute the Earth, according to one of the students. I think they want people to know that we're actually making harm on this world, and we mustn't get too technological.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:35] Yes, after this incident, the children went back into the classroom and didn't say anything to their teachers. However, some of the kids told their parents what had happened and these parents went to the school to ask what happened. News of the sighting, then went to the Zbc radio, then to be to the BBC and finally to Harvard professor John Mack.

Cat Alvarado: [00:13:54] Most of the children continue to claim the UFO and alien beings happened, and for them it changed their lives back as children. And for some it continues to change their lives today. However, one of the students, Dallin, claims he made it all up and couldn't believe how the story blew up,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:15] Actually. And one thing we should mention, I think, before I get to my part, is that when I first heard this story, I thought all the children were African or from but actually. But like a bunch of the children were white and a bunch of the children were black, so not all of them were black. And the white guy that that Dallin guy, he actually is a white guy, right?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:33] And here's the thing. I saw that, um, the documentary too. Not only is he white, and not only like some like some of the the people that were adults now and they're talking, you can hear like an African accent. Some have like slightly British accent. One has an American accent. I don't know if she moved to America or she was American, so this was like a good school in terms of like the the kids were well-to-do, sort of. And the guy who said he made it up, it's so ridiculous. One before, before I knew he was the one who said he made it up. They showed him. And my first thought was like, that guy's a tweaker. He just looked like a tweaker to me. And then he starts talking and it's like. Like you. Even if he made it up, he couldn't make up the fact that they all had the same story to like that level of detail. Like he's not going to be like,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:18] Yeah

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:19] Look, an alien. And then they're going to fill in all these details. And 30 years later, they all still say it. So I don't know if he's in denial or if he's just trying to if someone paid him, but he wasn't credible to me at all. And the other kids were.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:33] And the other thing about the the story that was interesting to me is that they would just they all just went home. They're like aliens. And then they went back into the class and then school was over, and then they went home. And then their parents were probably like, hey, how was school? And then they're like, oh, we saw fucking aliens.

Cat Alvarado: [00:15:48] That actually makes me believe it more, though, because if you ever had something happen to you, you get like some something big, like a car accident, anything. It shocks you and you're kind of numb for a while. You're like, what on earth just went on? And it's not till later you can start to unpack it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:05] You kind of like, are in denial that you even saw it, you know? It's a little bit different, but it's, um. I don't know if Dave would agree. It's kind of like when you hear a white person say the N-word in the movies, you just like you go into straight angry mode. But in real life, you're like, this guy. Just say that. You're like, questioning yourself. Did I hear that?

Cat Alvarado: [00:16:22] That reminds me of this. One time I was walking with my ex. We were walking our dogs, and a homeless man was touching himself, like, fully out. And we saw it and looked away.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:34] You mean like his elbow? What was he? His shoulder or. No, I'm just saying. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:16:38] He was touching his private parts. Okay. He was jerking off. You want me to say it? He was jerking it publicly right there, just sitting on the sidewalk, just freaking going at it.

David Kau: [00:16:50] How are you dressed? Sorry.

Cat Alvarado: [00:16:51] Dressed? I was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Cat Alvarado: [00:16:56] This was not a me thing. He was there. He was doing that before we even got there. We were like, walking towards it, not knowing what we were really seeing. Because your brain can't wrap its head around someone jerking off on the sidewalk. This is downtown LA, by the way.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:10] That was me, by the way. Sorry about that, I.

Cat Alvarado: [00:17:16] Um. It wasn't until we got up close that we were like, oh, that's what that is. And but we didn't really react until we got back. And then we talked about it. We're like, did you see it? Was I crazy?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:28] Right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:17:28] What? And then we're like, let's not talk about it because we don't need to remember that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:33] David, have you heard of this story?

David Kau: [00:17:34] No, I never heard of the story until you guys. But I don't know if you know, you know, South Africa, one of the biggest issues or debates is that there's a lot of illegal immigrants, but the majority of them are Zimbabweans. If our population now should be 50 million, we are now at 63 million because you still have then a few other people from other African countries, but most of them are undocumented. They crossed the border illegally. So there's a lot of Zimbabweans in South Africa currently, and then a lot of them or most of them are actually well educated. One of the things Robert Mugabe did when he was the president. Zimbabwe's are some of the most educated people you'll ever find in the world.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:14] Interesting.

David Kau: [00:18:15] And especially then some of them made it out and they're running big companies all over the world. They live in London and US and blah blah, blah. So going back to the school that you say maybe this landing happened and how there was white kids and black kids. So when the settlers were when white people came and started taking over Africa, they pretty much then would build their own schools or set up their own school system, which was based where they came from. So you'll find a British school in South Africa. You'll find an American school in South Africa where they're teaching American syllabus. So then you probably had some of the kids of the white guys who were, you know, in high positions, had money or were running the country, who then build themselves that school. And then as and when things changed, or black people were allowed in certain places, then some of the black parents who could afford would take their kids. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:08] Right. 

David Kau: [00:19:08] To that school. So I'm trying to get them to a point where a lending an alien or a spacecraft or foreign whatever, lending at a school like that at a private school, as compared to one lending in a black township school where it's just black kids, the reactions would be totally, totally different, right? Some of the kids would be curious. Like I explained the thing about witchcraft or witch getting stuck on on a broom or flying. So in a township, totally. People would be totally worried. Like we want to go and check this thing out. If you go to the private school, then depending on our knowledge of aliens is literally whatever ideas America has put in movies, right? Some of them are tall and skinny and you know, they got that finger thing that do. Some of them are dressed in something. They almost look like they've got a uniform, and then you've got the long ears that are. So going back to then what a lot of the African cultural beliefs are about certain creatures that you and I, you would typically think this is made up in a book, but in Africa they may be based on a legend or a true story that they used to be a giant called the demu because there was a story about a giant, right? A girl who a giant would keep coming, knocking, trying to eat her. Almost like the, well, the werewolf story where the wolf ends up dressing like a woman and all that stuff I don't.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:36] Little Red Riding Hood.

David Kau: [00:20:37] Little Red Riding Hood. Yeah. So there was a similar story about, like, a giant who kept trying to eat this girl. And then eventually she. He burns like a piece of steel, and then he eats the piece of steel to change his voice into, like, a softer or like a woman voice. So instead of the little Red Riding Hood dressing up like a woman, this guy basically changed his voice. And then the next knock was no longer there. And you want to get us more? You want to come? I brought you some food. So some of the stories in South Africa are legendary stories. But for some of us, we grew up believing that in 1994 there was this alien spaceship that landed in Zimbabwe.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:19] Oh, is that right?

David Kau: [00:21:20] No. So, so so what I'm trying to get to is people believing. If someone was then to tell that story today, 30 years later and say, yo, I'm from Zimbabwe. I grew up in this village. And one time in 1994, there was an alien spaceship that landed and I was, you know, so many years old and we would listen, but more so because South Africans also are curious about Zimbabwe. So it's almost like Americans being curious about Mexico, what it is about this country that makes everybody wants to leave. So besides the lack of jobs and the economy is bad and da da da da da, it will just be another curious thing for us to actually know. Yo, man, why you never told me a spaceship landed in Zimbabwe in 1994, so I'm more likely now to go and ask a couple of Zimbabwean people I know and say to them, hey, did you know about this and this and this? You know, so then going back to if you are spiritual, right? And again, to some extent you believe in, uh, in super beings or that whether there's God or someone else or ancestors or whatever, depending on your beliefs and how you look at the world today. And then if you follow a bit of Joe Rogan and you start watching some of some of those videos, then you literally now start thinking, actually, maybe there is an alien spaceship, because in America, apparently they do have aliens somewhere in some building or room or whatever that they've kept for so long. You know.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:56] Area 51, I think. Yeah.

David Kau: [00:22:58] There's there's supposed to be. Yeah, there's supposed to be a spaceship somewhere that's, you know, being hidden or kept or they're studying it. So then you kind of think all this nonsense that's happening in the world, to some extent, it's then because of all the supernatural things that are taking place. Uh, so not necessarily aliens, but there's something that's happening, you know, then you start thinking, so if you were to meet a traditional healer or what we call a sangoma, which then if you're doing the opposite and trying to help people, then that's when you become a witch or a witch doctor. Right. So the opposite of that is is a healer. You become a healer, but it's almost like the training and is the same. The concept of being a doctor is the same. You can either be killing people like Doctor Fauci or you are helping people out.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:46] Right? Killing people like Fauci. Okay. Go ahead.

David Kau: [00:23:49] So then some of the people who have that gift and the spiritual gift of being a traditional healer, some of them are able to travel telepathically or even talk to aliens. I've met one person, not necessarily the Zimbabwean situation, but just them being in the same room as you. They would tell you that, okay, I went to such and such a place spiritually. It's like an out-of-body experience, right? And I talked, I spoke to people or I saw this type of creature. Da da da da. Which almost describing what you and I might think is an alien. So I'd be for me. I'd be. I'd be interested to go and find or do some more research about it, and maybe even get you guys 1 or 2 people from from them or at least someone I know on Twitter that's quite influential is from Zimbabwe, but he's been living in South Africa for years. But it's got quite a big following on Twitter in South Africa. I'd be curious to find a Zimbabwean that knows anything about it.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:50] All right. We all watch episode two of the Netflix show encounters, where they interviewed some of the original school children who continue to claim that what they saw was real, as well as Dylan, who says he made it up. What do you guys think of the documentary?

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:02] Um, I mean, the documentary was well done. It was really interesting. But I'm hung up on the fact that these were kind of affluent kids. That's what stands out to me, because I feel like their access to popular culture, like America, they're very influenced, like easily influenced. And their kids, like, maybe they all watched Men in Black or something. And I mean, that came out after this. So no, but maybe they went into the future and then watched Men in Black and went backwards.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:27] We can't do our theories yet. We can't do our theories.

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:29] No.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:30] Dwayne.

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:30] Okay,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:31] First off. Like you said, Koji, I just thought black children. And then when I saw they were black and white. It just gave it credibility because like, if it's all white, then you're like, yeah, white people are always seeing aliens. Then if it's all black, it just feels like when it's just one of one type of people. Either they made it up or they there's some sort of groupthink going on. But the fact that it was black and white kids, I think gives it a lot of credence. Let's think of like, let's say these aliens just really happened, hypothetically. Aliens are going to come and they want to give us this warning. Politicians won't won't count because they're already the ones doing the damage. Businessmen won't count. They're doing the damage. So they need to find people who are going to control things in the future kids. But they also they also need to find the most like kids who may have some influence in the future. Right? And these are kids at this school. Secondly, there are kids in Africa, the continent that is the most rich in resources, right? And because they're together, black and white, they're the most probably accepting kids. They've already know how to accept different cultures because people are like, why would they come across the galaxy and just talk to these kids? Well, these kids are the perfect people to talk to.

Cat Alvarado: [00:26:43] I mean, did you know that one of those kids grew up to be Elon Musk? So.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:48] Right. That's funny.

David Kau: [00:26:52] You guys know. His mom in South Africa. One of the parents is South African. He was born.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:56] Yeah, yeah.

David Kau: [00:26:57] And then but the parents moved quite, quite early. Um, and he started he started what now became PayPal. That's how he kind of made his money. Yeah, yeah. But, I mean, he hates being associated with South Africa. It's a weird vibe. There's a story that his former high school tried to get in touch with him and talk to him, and that this just the story I heard. And he was apparently like, here's a million rand check. Just fuck off. Leave me alone.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:23] Right, right. That's funny. At least he gave some money.

David Kau: [00:27:26] I don't know how. True that story is, but.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:28] He was actually bullied a lot because he's a weird. He's kind of a weird guy,

David Kau: [00:27:31] But. But. So remember the whole image of aliens has been created by America and their movies. Right. So for me, one of my jokes has always been every time there's a disaster or even an alien story, it all happens in America. It's never in any other part of the world. Fascinating and hilarious to me. Like aliens are going to pass all these other continents and leave all the space and land that we have in Africa and proper nice, fresh air and just go. We want that place where there's a lot of smoke and dust, and it's cramped and nobody has space to live anywhere. So like, that's why I said specifically that school those kids would have then seen. I mean, maybe Independence Day is a it's not a good example because it happened in 96. So whatever. Maybe E.T. there could have been a screening at the school, so those kids would have an idea of what an alien is supposed to be, as opposed to a typical someone in the middle of nowhere in Zimbabwe, or even in some of the villages in South Africa. More than anything, it's going to be like me buying a car and going back home or buying a certain type of car. And I go back home to Kronstadt, where I was born. It's a two-hour drive from here. It's not a village, but it's a small town, right? I could be the only person in the whole town who's got, like, a discovery three or at the time, anyway, like 15 years or whatever many years ago. Or a Range Rover Sport. So you drive into that thing, kids are going to run alongside the car in the street. Adults are going to ask to see the car look like inside, even if they have like a Mazda or Toyota or whatever car. So then in Africa, typically if some sort of a spaceship was, that would be like me arriving in a Rolls-Royce back home in the village.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:24] Right, right.

David Kau: [00:29:24] Or in the small town and everyone wanted to see. So you're more likely to have the kids from the lower, lower LSM hanging around trying to see, because some of them will probably even be like, yo man, do you have ten bucks for me? Because for them, I'm trying to buy some.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:40] Right, right, right. Well, it's just that two things in terms of them, like seeing aliens on TV, that that would account for some of it, but they all said they had the same telepathic experience where this thing communicated to them telepathically. Also, 60 kids saw it and it was broad daylight. So I don't I just don't think 60 people and like and they made this point in the documentary where and I thought about it literally. And then as soon as I thought about it, they said it in a documentary, at least in the US, one person can say, I saw that guy shoot that guy. I was 200ft away, but I know it was that guy and I know he shot that guy and that's enough, okay? That guy is in jail for life. 60 people say they saw something and were like, no, no, you didn't see it. That's crazy to me.

David Kau: [00:30:27] The same as the guy who saw the the sniper who shot Trump in the air climbing the warehouse. And he kept telling the cops, yo, there's someone here climbing. I'm like, nah, nigga, you're crazy. Climbing the warehouse. He's setting up his rifle. Yeah, yeah. Whatever, man.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:50] Right. Somebody didn't want to stop it. That's what that was. But that's crazy.

Cat Alvarado: [00:30:55] Mhm. Mhm.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:30:56] It should be noted that there were other UFO sightings around the school in the days before the school incident.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:02] That that builds some evidence. But you guys it is time to put our thinking caps on. And when we return we'll settle this once and for all and figure out what really maybe happened. Now that we've reviewed the evidence, let's give our theories. I'll go first. And my theory is that it is real. And this alien is a part of the same crew as Valient Thorr. This is obvious because it's the same message over and over again. These aliens are coming and saying, hey, take care of planet Earth. So the fact that it's the same message also is wild that there's 62 of them, just like Dwayne was saying, and they telepathically all shared the same message. That is wild. I'm 100% in on it. It happened. It is aliens. It's valient thorr. And at best, maybe it's like a government person a la Men in Black. But we also know the Men in Black were real. Those are real freakin CIA agents that used to go to people who saw UFOs. So for some reason, the aliens at that point in time were now wearing the suits. Like maybe they were recruited by the CIA. I don't know. Now we're getting really convoluted. I don't know why the alien is wearing a suit. I can't explain that to you, but Valient Thorr also had style, so that's my theory. It's valient thorr.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:25] My theory is. Well, I actually believe this is. This is one of the. This is actually one of the stories, I believe, more than any of them. So this is like right after the Japanese car industry was kind of struggling a little bit. So they went to Africa to start a plant like a car plant, and they went to Zimbabwe. And so these Japanese people got out of the car and everyone's like aliens.

Cat Alvarado: [00:32:49] You're saying they were not aliens, they were Japanese.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:51] They were actually. Just Japanese people. Yeah, they were a little short,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:54] Interesting.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:55] And when they spoke telepathically, they were just speaking some kind of funny. And so they were just kind of they thought they were saying something and then, uh, yeah, it was just it was just Japanese people. They were just there. They wanted to build a car factory, but they just got confused a little bit.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:08] My theory is this, in actuality, I think Koji, me, Koji, cat. We all agree. Like I really think this happened, to be honest. But my theory that I'm going to submit to you is that it wasn't the Japanese, it was the Chinese. Here's why, though. China knew that they were, you know becoming a super power. They weren't they weren't there yet. But it was it was happening. They were already making everything. They were like, we are the next, we're next up. And when you become a superpower, part of that is raping Africa, right? You just need the resources in Africa I'm seeing, you know, but I, I maybe I shouldn't say it that way, but you you need their resources. It's just how like when the Black Panthers were doing their thing. It's basically a student organization, right? With tough talk, what elevated it was the FBI. Cia planted members in the Black Panthers to to rev things up. So you got to understand that sometimes the art of war is tricky, right? So kind of knew they want they needed to go in eventually and use African resources. So they're like, well, let's go in, target some affluent kids, give them this message, trick them, make them think it's aliens, discredit them, which will also discredit the message, which will also sort of like distract people. So the message of like, don't overuse resources and take care of the planet. That message gets locked into these crazy kids talking to aliens. It's almost like someone catches someone's cheating and they're like, they look at their phone and they're like, oh my God, you're still texting that person. And instead of addressing it, they go, why did you look at my phone?

Cat Alvarado: [00:34:51] Mhm.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:52] The the message of don't sort of like like take care of the planet. It gets almost convoluted and mixed up with these people showing alien. And that just discredits the whole thing. And so it just primes the situation for, for China to come in and now go, um, yeah, those kids are crazy, right? Anyway, we need some resources.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:12] You thought it was the Chinese? I thought it was the Japanese.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:15] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

David Kau: [00:35:16] Okay, so maybe many years ago, I'll. I'll dismiss it and just be like, whatever, you know, watch too many movies. But like I said, I've actually met someone who's, you know, told me their story, how they've traveled to even speak to aliens or contact them. So when you guys have time, there's a there's a man called credo. Mutwa. Um, he he died recently. Call him a soothsayer or a traditional healer or a sangoma. So he had predicted a few things in the future, including that President Thabo Mbeki, who came in after Nelson Mandela, would not finish his term and he didn't finish his second term, that his party got rid of him after almost two years. Right. But that's just one of the things that he predicted. And same then he's also had his own experiences and sightings with, uh, UFOs or aliens or even communicated with them. But he's one of the most credible people. His name is credo Mutwa. Credo Mutwa. So he's one of the oldest, oldest, oldest, oldest people that, uh, you know, you trusted people have studied him, and there's been books and tons of videos on YouTube about him. So because then I started listening, or at least following some of his works, and I've met other people and the world has really, really advanced. So look at it this way for me, right? We are not the only ones in the universe. We all know that. And already some of Americans have gone to space, gone to the moon, they've tried to go to Mars. So the fact that with the little bit of intelligence and technology that we have, we can travel that far. There is no way aliens are not sitting out there going, actually, what's happening in Zimbabwe, right? That's anyone want to. Does anyone want to go? Does anyone want to go to New York. So tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet. So you fill up the space station. Doo doo doo. We can fill it up on the way here. Tweet tweet. You know what I mean.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:22] That's great.

David Kau: [00:37:23] And I think other life living are also trying to be like, what the hell is going on on earth? Because things used to be cool. They never used to be this. But now there's like earthquakes. So I think for now I would. That's why I said I'm willing to go and even do more research and find out.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:40] That's great. 

David Kau: [00:37:41] If some of those people are still alive, you know.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:44] Oh, they are. They are. You think that it that it did happen like that? Basically,

David Kau: [00:37:48] I think it happened. And I think if it had happened in today's time with all the cell phones and social media and there'd be a little bit more evidence or at least more people that could say, look, I saw something take off, or can you see from where we're standing? Um, and I think it's all about like, the same way human beings are trying to find life on other planets. I think equally other human life, life forms are also curious about what we are doing on Earth.

Cat Alvarado: [00:38:21] I believe it,

David Kau: [00:38:22] I just don't know about them coming. And then they take you or kidnap you and they put stuff in your ass or butt. Experiment. Experiment on you. Then you come back and you're just like, nah, they just took me for the weekend, you know? Nothing.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:35] Right, right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:38:36] It's like a situationship with the with the aliens.

David Kau: [00:38:39] Meanwhile, they took you to a Puff Daddy party. In some space.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:44] That's funny. That's funny.

Cat Alvarado: [00:38:47] So at this point in the show, it's time for us to pick the unofficial official story. One that will answer the question once and for all. So which theory do we want to go with today of all four of our theories? I'll vote first. I vote for Dwayne. I think they were Chinese because. The whole because they eventually went on to do the what's it called, the road belt, the beltway. I don't remember what it's called, but where they built a bunch of things all around the world. So would it make sense if they had like a little ship and they had the balloon that they sent last year to America They had some kind of weird little ship, and like, a tiny little petite man came out.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:27] Hey hey hey hey.

Cat Alvarado: [00:39:30] Hey.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:33] Well, I mean there's Yao Ming, so they're not all petite. We know that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:36] Oh, I'm going to vote for yours, too. Dwayne.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:38] This is crazy, because I was actually going to vote for Cat's and David's, but only because. Because the other thing, I think is that aliens are probably not supposed to interfere, just like Star Trek when he visits places. But I think there's always going to be that conscientious alien who can't help himself. And that's another reason why they don't go to like, they don't broadcast it because they're not allowed to. So it's like a little sneaky thing. I'll just tell these kids and maybe they'll get the message. And then that alien who spoke to those kids when they got back home, they were like, in the conference room, I need to talk to you right now. You know, like he got in trouble for doing that. You know what I mean?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:11] What's weird about the what the alien said is that actually the in the 1950s, that's what the alien abductions were. They would take you to space and then tell you that you had to protect the Earth. But pretty much after the 1950s, That didn't happen anymore. So that's what's weird about this one. By the 90s, they were already doing, like David said, experiments and hybrid aliens. And like, that was like the more typical quote, abduction stories nowadays. Like, like back in the 1950s, they called them space brothers and sisters. They weren't even aliens. They were space brothers and space sisters because they were like, all the messages were really great. Like, no nuclear proliferation, don't destroy the Earth, that kind of stuff.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:47] Just that I think that they they're not supposed to interfere, but they can't. They see us going astray and they can't help it. Also, it almost feels like their message doesn't match our current system of capitalism. So it gets sort of like shot down.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:00] So who are you voting for Dwayne? Come on. Dwayne, who are you voting for?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:04] I'm voting for Cat. I guess. Cat or Dave. I'm voting for Cat. Yeah, I know, I know, I'm not voting for my own theory, which is crazy, but go ahead.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:11] Okay, so two. It's 2 to 1. David, who are you voting for? Which theory are you voting for?

David Kau: [00:41:15] Look, if we're going with the Japanese and the Japanese.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:19] What Japanese? Or, mine was a Chinese.

David Kau: [00:41:21] Japanese or Chinese, I think. I think the Chinese are pulling some moves, guys. Look, I mean, if you watch what China has done in the last, they are 15 to 18 years, bro. Just in the world. It's unbelievable. From rail, from, uh, um, especially rail, you know, to move that many people and the technology that they're doing and remember, they are also now in Africa and they've almost outcompeted the United States in terms of building projects and, and roads and bridges and funding. And so I'm saying maybe the Chinese have always had a plan for Africa. We just started in Zimbabwe in 1994.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:01] Yeah, exactly.

Cat Alvarado: [00:42:03] And that is the official story. But we'll take another break. And when we return, we'll find out what we'd say to an alien if they showed up in front of us.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:14] If an alien showed up in front of us, what would you say to an alien? And what would you want to know?

Cat Alvarado: [00:42:18] I would say, can you tell me the future? And can you tell me if my ex is going to come back?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:24] Oh my God.

Cat Alvarado: [00:42:25] And if the answer is no, go away.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:28] That's what you would ask an alien? Oh my God.

Cat Alvarado: [00:42:30] Look, I do not pass the Bechdel test.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:33] I guess what I would want to know is why have they been so low key? You guys know we're here? We don't know. We kind of think you're here. And why are you leaving us up for debate?

Cat Alvarado: [00:42:45] I have another question I want to ask the alien. Can you take back JD Vance? He is not passing, and he is definitely an alien.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:54] All right, I would personally, what I would ask is I would want him to give me some ideas for movies that I could write that are about aliens, that are and then hopefully, you know, assuming that they're aliens with a lot of money, they could fund my own movies, maybe create a film fund so we could start just creating alien. I could do PR for the. In other words, I could do PR for the aliens. I could just make them seem like they're really nice. And by the time they invade and take over, I'll be a collaborator so that they'd want me to, you know, stick around and not kill me. And my family. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:43:23] Ahh smart. Smart. I like that. But I would also try to get him to explain crypto.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:28] Crypto.

Cat Alvarado: [00:43:30] I would also ask the alien. Can they make my dog live as long as me?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:35] Oh, okay. That's a good one. I like that one.

David Kau: [00:43:37] I'm going to ask them, how do we fix Africa? How do we what? Give us some resources or money. Let's start building infrastructure in this continent because it makes no sense at the moment. It's absolutely makes no sense. Richest, richest place on earth, on minerals. But, you know, semi-wars everywhere. Everybody coming to take for themselves. So I'd kind of be like, yo, we need to stop this nonsense of all these other countries coming here and taking our minerals, what do we do if we need to build some roads, infrastructure and then we can make some movies? That's the ultimate. That's the ultimate goal. If there is infrastructure, storage is too low. Just give me some cash. You want to make movies in Africa.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:19] You might just need like some of the Stingray lasers, just so that when people do come to take, you can point the laser at them and be like, all right, here's what's going to happen. We're going to let you take some, but you're going to compensate us properly and you're going to teach us, or the aliens will teach you, teach you. So I like that. Right. Thank you, David, for coming on with us. Please tell people where they are, where they can follow you. 

David Kau: [00:44:43] On Twitter it's my name, David Kau, with the number one. And that's because there's a Japanese illustrator whose name is David Kau. And he took the took the handle. He took the handle before I.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:56] That's crazy. That's crazy. And Kau is spelled k a u.

David Kau: [00:45:01] Yeah. He took the handle and he took the.com as well, so I promise he doesn't even use it. Not even active. So at some stages he used to send me inquiries because people would, I guess, go in for a difficult time and try to book a comedian. And the need for it.

Cat Alvarado: [00:45:18] Oh. That's nice.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:20] That's quite nice. That's nice of him.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:21] That's very funny.

David Kau: [00:45:22] So on X or Twitter it's David Kau. One the number. My name and the number one. Uh, Instagram. Just David Kau. Tiktok. Facebook. David Kau, comedian. Oh, yeah. Youtube. Also is David Carr, comedian. Um, yeah, man, it's been a pleasure. It's quite dope hanging out.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:39] Thank you all so much for listening. There are almost 3 million podcasts and we're honored you chose ours to listen to. Please check out our website. Unofficial official Story.com for show notes. To hear our past episodes, please follow us on Instagram, x, TikTok and YouTube.

Cat Alvarado: [00:45:53] And if you like the podcast, please share it with your friends, family and even your enemies. You'll be doing a lot to help us keep bringing exciting and fun content every month.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:46:03] Yes, and please consider writing a review of our show on the platform you use to listen to this podcast. We know it's a pain in the butt, but it it does go a long way in helping the show. It helps us reach new listeners, grow our show, and most importantly, it enables us to keep putting out the content that we hope you enjoy.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:22] And also, before we get to the end here, I just want to plug real quick that that we have a new podcast, a narrative podcast, a fictional podcast called Elucidity that I wrote and produced, and Dwayne was one of the lead actors and happy to announce we were number one on the Apple charts for for a good week or two.

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:38] Nice.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:38] So we're really excited. So definitely check that out. So please join us next month when we celebrate the 45th anniversary of The Vanishing Hotel. Where did it go? So there are these there are all these stories of these people like, you know, like these couples going on, going to this hotel, checking in, and then they come back like another day and there's nothing there. So we're going to be looking at one of those cases and trying to decide what happened.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:47:00] Airbnb. Airbnb messed it up for everybody.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:47:06] All right. Guys. Bye.

Cat Alvarado: [00:47:08] Thank you. Thank you guys.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:47:09] Thank you. Thank you. See you guys.