S4E9 Stephen King John Lennon and the Law A Comedic Conspiracy Adventure with Seth Lawrence

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:00] What celebrity death made you the happiest?

Cat Alvarado: [00:00:03] It's a messed up question.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:04] What a way to start. Yeah, that was crazy. I was like, is that the first line? Well, I would say this. None of them made me. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:12] Hitler. No Hitler.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:13] Well, I mean, I wasn't around, right? But not the happiest. I don't think any of them made me happy. But I think in a sense, I thought we could have used Amy Winehouse's passing as, like, sort of a turning point, but I don't know if it was like,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:25] What kind of turning point?

Seth Lawrence: [00:00:26] Like a call to attention.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:27] Yeah. Sort of like, you know, take drugs seriously, don't do them. Get help, all that stuff.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:33] Mental health,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:33] The whole thing. I mean, she had a song called rehab.

Seth Lawrence: [00:00:35] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:36] About how she wasn't going to go to rehab.

Seth Lawrence: [00:00:38] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:39] And then she dies. And I just thought, this is going to be a turning point.

Seth Lawrence: [00:00:43] If there was ever a cry for help.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:44] Right? People are going to sort of use this as a lesson and not OD. And since then, there's been many ODS, so I don't know, have.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:52] No turning point.

Cat Alvarado: [00:00:53] They should have gone to rehab.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:54] Right, right, right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:00:55] Should have. Should have forced her in.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:57] Anybody else have any ideas?

Cat Alvarado: [00:00:58] I have one, but. Okay. I want to preface it with it's never people who should actually die, who die when it's a celebrity. It's never like Hitler. It's always like Amy Winehouse or, um, Brittany Murphy. What the hell? That one was really upsetting.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:11] Yeah, I feel like that was mold in her house.

Cat Alvarado: [00:01:12] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:13] Because her husband died after that. Yeah,

Cat Alvarado: [00:01:15] But. Okay, if I had to say one made me, like, not as sad as the others. Right. So don't come at me, you guys.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:23] Right, right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:01:24] Paul Walker.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:25] Because he was racing.

Cat Alvarado: [00:01:26] Because of the racing. And there's so many people who die all around Los Angeles. I mean, everywhere. But growing up in my mom's neighborhood, there's this one street where you can hear the drag racers at night. And every time I go there to visit my mom, there's always another lamppost or pole with a bunch of bears.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:44] A comedian son died that way, and he wasn't even drag racing. He was sitting in his car and a drag racer hit him.

Seth Lawrence: [00:01:49] Oh, jeez.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:50] Yeah, yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:01:51] So it's not that Paul Walker's death made me happy, but I just feel like the fast and the furious franchise has set a really bad and deadly example and like.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:02] And was he drag racing? Was he racing his friend?

Seth Lawrence: [00:02:05] He was.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:05] I think he was racing. Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:07] I thought you were going to say. And again. No, no one's happy. We wish you were here. But I thought you were going to say because his. I think his girlfriend at the time was like 20. 21. I thought you were.

Seth Lawrence: [00:02:18] And he was, what, 42. 42 something.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:21] Yeah, yeah. Which is, you know, it happens, you know? They were both adults, depending on when they met. Yeah, yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:02:27] Adults.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:30] It's half your age. Minus three is the new rule.

Cat Alvarado: [00:02:32] Is that. No. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:34] Plus seven, I think.

Seth Lawrence: [00:02:36] Oh. That's awesome. What a great rule. Who makes these rules? Who's they?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:41] I just made it up right now.

Cat Alvarado: [00:02:42] It's half your age plus seven? I hope you guys know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:44] Well, it's plus 7 or -3, depending on where you are, but. Yeah. Seth,

Seth Lawrence: [00:02:47] I'll tell you, it's Betty White. Betty white. She lived a long, good life.

Cat Alvarado: [00:02:51] Okay, that's a good answer.

Seth Lawrence: [00:02:52] She died of normal, natural causes.

Cat Alvarado: [00:02:54] Leave it to Seth,

Seth Lawrence: [00:02:55] And that's good. She. She did it.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:57] She did her thing.

Seth Lawrence: [00:02:58] Yeah, absolutely.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:00] Yeah, that's a good one.

Cat Alvarado: [00:03:01] Much more cheerful than mine. Okay.

Seth Lawrence: [00:03:02] Yeah. You guys picked sad ones.

Cat Alvarado: [00:03:04] I know,

Seth Lawrence: [00:03:06] But but you also had a really deep message with it, you know?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:09] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:03:10] Yeah. So don't date 20 year olds. That was the main one.

Seth Lawrence: [00:03:13] Yeah. Yeah. That was.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:14] Unless they fit the half your age. Minus three. That's okay. So, wait, what does that make me? I'm 47. That's a 20 year old. Hey, I got a 20 year old. Oh, wow. That's too much work.

Seth Lawrence: [00:03:24] You and Paul Walker?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:24] I couldn't even imagine that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:26] Okay. I looked up the Paul Walker thing, and I don't know if this is a credible source, but I won't say her name. She was 23 when he died, and they had been dating since she was younger than that. 16.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:37] Oh, shit.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:37] And he was 33.

Seth Lawrence: [00:03:39] Whoa.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:40] Um, I don't know.

Seth Lawrence: [00:03:41] Wow. Paul Walker.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:42] What country she lived in.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:44] What state?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:44] I don't, you know, I don't know.

Cat Alvarado: [00:03:46] Was she trafficked? Is she from, like,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:03:48] Was she trafficked?

Cat Alvarado: [00:03:48] Yugoslavia?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:49] Some people would say groomed, but, you know, it's hard to say, right? It depends on you had to be there.

Seth Lawrence: [00:03:57] That's crazy.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:57] You had to be there. It's a little wild. You had to be there.

Cat Alvarado: [00:03:59] That gives me Drake vibes.

Seth Lawrence: [00:03:59] So he met her when she was 16. Or they started dating officially when she was 16.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:03] Oh, wow. You opened up another.

Seth Lawrence: [00:04:05] Is that what you're saying?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:06] They said. It said they started dating now when they met, that's. You know, I didn't even think about that.

Cat Alvarado: [00:04:12] This is giving me Drake and Millie Bobby Brown vibes.

Seth Lawrence: [00:04:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, what a world. What a world we live in.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:20] Is that the girl from Stranger Things?

Cat Alvarado: [00:04:21] Yes.

Seth Lawrence: [00:04:22] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:22] And Drake?

Cat Alvarado: [00:04:23] Yes. Do you not know this?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:24] No, no I didn't.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:04:25] This is one of the things Kendrick Lamar was going off on, right? Yeah. He made fun of him.

Cat Alvarado: [00:04:29] They have all these, like, text conversations that have between them that are, like, not appropriate. Like, why would a man that age be friends with, like, a 13 year old girl?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:37] Did he just want to know what was going to happen on Stranger Things?

Seth Lawrence: [00:04:40] He was a superfan. 11 tell me what's going on.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:46] You're not really 11, are you? I mean

Seth Lawrence: [00:04:50] I'm sorry. What do you mean, sir? Uh, age or character name.

Cat Alvarado: [00:04:54] He really Just he really just has a giant crush on Winona Ryder and wants to know all about her.

Seth Lawrence: [00:04:58] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:58] Right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:04:58] He connected with your your soon to be mother in law in the show.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:02] Yeah. So I thought you were going to go there. Rest in peace, Paul Walker. You know. Yeah. So I like Betty White, though.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:08] Yeah. Betty White's the best. I was just all I could think of is Hitler. So I'm not gonna answer.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:11] Right, right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:05:13] I just like the stretch of celebrity to get to Hitler.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:16] Yeah,

Seth Lawrence: [00:05:16] It feels like a positive term.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:18] Well, I'm always thinking about Hitler, and that sounds bad, but. But it's like. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:05:21] Clip it. Clip it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:23] What do you think about that sexy mustache? That sweet Hitler stache?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:27] So there's a joke with my with my manager. The number one. The first rule is when she receives a new script for mine. For me. And she asked me, are there any Nazi jokes or Hitler references? And if I say yes, she won't even read it. She's like, get rid of that. All of that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:41] Wow.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:41] Unless it's a World War Two script, then maybe it's like.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:43] The first pass.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:44] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:44] Yeah, yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:45] Get rid of that. There's no Nazi joke. This is a romantic comedy. You don't need Nazi jokes.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:48] Right, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:49] And then I have to go and rewrite it and then send it in, and, you know.

Cat Alvarado: [00:05:52] Is it because you're Japanese? You secretly love him? That was that was offensive.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:00] Do you watch man in the High Castle and you go, yes this is how it should have been.

Seth Lawrence: [00:06:03] It could have been.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:04] Should have been.

Seth Lawrence: [00:06:05] This is the universe we all deserve.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:07] That's the one I remember. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:06:10] From my past life.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:13] Oh, man.

Cat Alvarado: [00:06:17] Welcome, welcome, welcome. This is season four, episode nine of the award winning unofficial official story. I'm Cat.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:25] I'm Dwayne, and I'm here. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:27] And I am Koji.

Cat Alvarado: [00:06:28] And this is where we tell you the official story. We look at the paranormal conspiracies, unexplained phenomena, cryptids, and true crime. And by the end, we'll tell you what really maybe happened.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:42] And we'd love to hear from you. You can send us a message by clicking the Contact Us button on our website, or you can even leave us a voicemail. Click on the microphone button at the bottom of the home page. Tell us what we got right. Tell us what we got wrong. Tell us how much you love us or hate us. Or if there's a topic you think we should cover. Or do you think you'd be the perfect guest? Let us know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:07:01] This December marks the 44th anniversary of John Lennon's assassination, and we're asking the very important question Did Stephen King murder John Lennon? I don't know about you guys, but I've been celebrating the 44th anniversary. It's. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:12] Right. Right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:07:13] It's an important anniversary in the Sakai household.

Cat Alvarado: [00:07:18] But first, let's introduce our guest, Seth Lawrence. Seth comes from a loving family in Orem, Utah. He went to law school and worked as an attorney in North Carolina. He's married with four kids. So how did he end up in stand up comedy? Funny story in 2018, Seth was a finalist in the US Comedy Contest in 2021. He worked as a host for the World Series of Comedy, performing in clubs all over the country. You can hear him on Sirius XM radio on Family USA and Jeff and Larry's comedy roundup if you're lucky. Seth also recorded a Drybar special called Ready or Not that is currently available on Dry Bar comedy.com and on the Dry Bar comedy app. He also has a podcast. What a comedian with a podcast wild. It's called Self-Help yourself. He reviews self-help books and gives some updates on good news in the world in a segment called Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:12] That sounds very positive.

Cat Alvarado: [00:08:14] Find it where you get your podcasts. And now. Hello. What's up?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:18] How are you?

Seth Lawrence: [00:08:18] Thank you so much. Doing great. Thanks for having me.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:21] What kind of attorney were you? What did you work on?

Seth Lawrence: [00:08:23] I worked with closely held corporations. I was a corporate attorney looking at, um, corporate governance documents, mostly.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:31] Oh, Jesus. That's like the worst.

Seth Lawrence: [00:08:32] It was I loved it, I loved it, actually. Yes, I loved what.

Cat Alvarado: [00:08:35] You told me. You worked with two lawyers and they were trying to get you in a throuple, right? Is that the.

Seth Lawrence: [00:08:39] No. No. Close? No. It was a married couple that ran the firm. Yeah, yeah. And I was the only other attorney in the office. So in that way, maybe a professional thrupple.

Cat Alvarado: [00:08:51] It was a professional throuple.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:52] What do you like about corporate law?

Seth Lawrence: [00:08:54] What did I like about it?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:55] Like what was so intriguing about it?

Seth Lawrence: [00:08:57] Uh, I was intrigued by the money making aspect that I was sold initially that I think sort of faded as the market crashed in 2006 to 2008. But I also just like working with words and getting, uh, it's like a big puzzle. Every contract is a puzzle, and every relationship in the professional world is kind of a puzzle when you have partners or, um, you know, co-owners trying to figure out how they're going to divvy up the business and who's going to run what. It's basically a puzzle you have to solve with words, right? Specific. You have to be.

Cat Alvarado: [00:09:30] That's what comedy is essentially. So that actually matches really well.

Seth Lawrence: [00:09:34] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:34] It absolutely matches. I dated a lawyer once and we didn't work out, but I felt like she she was good people. But she would always argue with me about just anything. Right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:09:45] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:46] And I think she fancied herself a really good debater. And I was just like, you've never come up against a comic. So hearing you being a lawyer and a comic, it's almost like unfair.

Seth Lawrence: [00:09:56] You know what I mean? Right. You feel.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:58] Yeah. Because it's like. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:09:59] Mixing logic with crazy.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:00] Right. Right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:10:01] But corporate lawyers were never in the court. You weren't in the courtroom, right?

Seth Lawrence: [00:10:04] No, I was not in the courtroom.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:06] Right, right. But just just the ability to sort of, like, play with words and. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:10:09] Think logically.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:10] Yeah. Think logically.

Seth Lawrence: [00:10:11] Analytical thinking, I think.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:12] Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. Because I think she probably ran circles around most people. And I think as a lawyer, it felt like she would argue points she didn't necessarily believe. She was just arguing for argument's sake.

Seth Lawrence: [00:10:22] Oh yeah. For sure.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:23] And by only the luxury of only arguing the points, I believe.

Seth Lawrence: [00:10:26] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:27] Slightly different. You know what I mean?

Seth Lawrence: [00:10:28] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:29] Thing. So. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:10:29] Absolutely.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:30] How did you sort of reconcile those two things? And it was easier for you to become a comic because you were a lawyer?

Seth Lawrence: [00:10:35] I think there's a lot of overlap.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:36] Yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:10:37] Um, I often think about a stand up set as an argument you're making to the jury of the audience.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:10:43] Very nice.

Seth Lawrence: [00:10:44] Right. Where you're like, you're taking a position, you have a perspective and you're trying to sell it. You're trying to sell it to this group of people that don't know you. And in that way, it's very much like a legal argument.

Cat Alvarado: [00:10:55] I mean, if you go back to like ancient Greece and what have you, that's the origin of it. All of like you talking in the public square. Was it called the Aurora, or am I thinking of the lights in the sky in Alaska?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:06] Those are the lights in the sky.

Seth Lawrence: [00:11:07] Yes, yes. Aurora borealis.

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:09] Yeah, but there's something. It has a name. It's not a I don't know, it has a name.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:11:12] But what is it? Areola.

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:14] No.

Seth Lawrence: [00:11:16] Also also very important. That's what it is. I don't know, I'll have to look it up. Ah, right. Ancient Greece. Kind of like areola.

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:28] They had like a public square. And orators would go up.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:31] Right, right, right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:32] They were philosophers and they were politicians. And now they say that comedians are modern day philosophers, not. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:11:37] Agoras. The agoras,

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:39] The agoras.

Seth Lawrence: [00:11:40] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:40] Very nice, very nice. That is pretty close.

Seth Lawrence: [00:11:43] I was thinking.

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:43] Like, we got there.

Seth Lawrence: [00:11:44] The sleeping Beauty with Aurora. What's happening? Yeah. Agarose. Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:11:48] So did you always want to be a comedian, though? I mean, was that something that you.

Seth Lawrence: [00:11:51] I'd always been interested in comedy. I the gateway for me was improv. I loved Whose Line Is It Anyway? And, you know, I watched the Seinfeld Seinfeld show and and his stand up special when it came out, and Brian Regan was very big in Utah, uh, all the clean comics, you know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:09] So is your comedy clean.

Seth Lawrence: [00:12:10] It's generally clean. Yeah, yeah. But I was raised by religious parents who were both very traditionally minded. So a job in entertainment is no job at all,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:21] Right right

Seth Lawrence: [00:12:21] For a man who's supposed to have a family?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:23] Oh, no.

Seth Lawrence: [00:12:24] So I never really entertained the idea of being in entertainment. It was always raw for me growing up. And then, you know, you marry up, and the woman of your dreams is like, what do you want to do? Because I'm going to work. So. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:37] Wow,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:37] Sweet.

Seth Lawrence: [00:12:38] So I ended up retiring from law. We moved to LA and I became a stay at home dad and then did stand up at night.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:45] There's so many questions here. Like one is, do you think you benefited working first? Or I went to college first and then had a job and then did the thing. So I think it helped in terms of just having a process, a work process. And also, do you think you are more motivated because your wife did that for you? So you can't like, you know, you can't mess around,

Seth Lawrence: [00:13:06] Squander it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:06] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:13:07] I think I think so on both counts. I think for stand up in particular, it matters to live a life,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:13] Right right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:13:13] And so people who start early, I say more power to you if you want to start stand up young, go for it. But I don't know that you're going to have much really to say. You'll learn how to say it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:25] Right. Exactly.

Seth Lawrence: [00:13:26] But you might not know what to say until you've lived some life. So I think just being older helps with that. And then, yeah, I think I am more motivated based on the life situation that I'm in. And my wife also thinks there's there's an academic bubble that's going to burst at any moment, like the housing bubble.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:45] Wow.

Seth Lawrence: [00:13:45] And so she's now telling me you got to get famous fast.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:48] Right, right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:13:49] So this is a good step for me being here.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:51] Just sort of like people are going to learn online so they won't need teachers.

Seth Lawrence: [00:13:55] Or just tuition costs is going to burst because it's inflated.

Cat Alvarado: [00:13:58] So high.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:59] And yeah, the number of kids are probably not going to as many kids will go,

Seth Lawrence: [00:14:02] Who knows how Sustainable any of that is?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:04] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:14:04] So college degree doesn't even guarantee a job anymore.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:07] We were just talking about that before. Yeah, yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:14:08] Yeah, yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:09] I was just reading about it. Uh, OnlyFans girl who gets 48 million a year.

Cat Alvarado: [00:14:12] What?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:13] That's more money than, like, Aaron Judge and most of the baseball players.

Seth Lawrence: [00:14:16] Yeah, that that onlyfans stuff is.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:18] I'm gonna start my own OnlyFans.

Seth Lawrence: [00:14:20] Sell some feet.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:14:21] Nice.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:21] Yeah,

Cat Alvarado: [00:14:22] I got laid off. And you know what? I maybe it's time. Maybe. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:14:26] It couldn't hurt. Cat.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:14:27] So on your podcast, you do, uh, you do self like you review self-help books. What's your favorite self-help book?

Seth Lawrence: [00:14:33] So far it's been Atomic Habits.

Cat Alvarado: [00:14:35] Oh, I love that one. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:14:35] Like personal. Personal. It's it is so clear and digestible, and it's actually one of these books that's you can take what he is talking about, implement it in your life immediately and notice a nice change. So it's all about the smallest changes you can make to develop a good habit. So he takes a very economic view of how to instill habits, that is, decrease cost and increase utility. So if you have a good habit you want to develop, make it as easy for yourself to do that habit as possible. And then the opposite for bad habits, right? Make it as costly as you can. So in talking about Hitler, there are some examples of people who basically say, I don't want to drink alcohol ever again. And if I do, I'm going to tell my friend to send this donation to the Nazi Party on my behalf, right? Like I'm going to have money in escrow with them.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:29] They can send it.

Seth Lawrence: [00:15:30] And if they find out I've ever drank, they send it in my name.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:32] Oh, wow.

Seth Lawrence: [00:15:33] And so it's like no one wants to donate to the Nazis.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:36] Right? Right, right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:15:37] Anyhow, so, yeah, it's like make the cost so high that you will never commit this bad habit.

Cat Alvarado: [00:15:41] I'm trying to stop watching TV before bedtime. I think what I need to do is remove the TVs from my walls.

Cat Alvarado: [00:15:46] Yeah, that's right,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:47] I have a good idea. So every time you watch TV, you send me $20.

Seth Lawrence: [00:15:53] For the Nazi Party.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:54] That's funny.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:57] That's a good idea.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:58] Yes,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:58] I like that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:59] And I'm. I apologize in advance, but this, it just has to be done. And so eventually you will not see TV at night.

Seth Lawrence: [00:16:07] Oh, shit.

Cat Alvarado: [00:16:11] Okay, well, let's get this story straight once and for all.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:14] Yep. Let's do it. If somehow you've never watched The Shining or you've never listened to Here Comes the Sun, here's a bit about both writers. Stephen King was born in Portland, Maine, in 1947. In 1973, he published Carrie, which allowed him to become a full time writer. He's been dubbed the King of Horror and has published over 50 books, including Pet Sematary, it, and The Stand. John Lennon was born in October of 1940, in Liverpool, England. Inspired by Elvis Presley, he created a band at 16 inviting Paul McCartney to join soon after with George Harrison and Ringo Starr. The Beatles overtook the world and became one of the, if not the most influential bands of all time.

Cat Alvarado: [00:16:52] Now you might be thinking, what could possibly connect these two? Well, according to conspiracy theorist Steve Lightfoot, more than we think.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:02] I always think about Steve Lightfoot whenever I need information. I don't know about you guys.

Cat Alvarado: [00:17:06] It's the first place I go right when I wake up.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:08] Gordon Lightfoot but is that a singer?

Cat Alvarado: [00:17:10] Yes, I think he sings. Is he the one who sings Moondance? No, I don't know.

Seth Lawrence: [00:17:14] I should look it up.

Cat Alvarado: [00:17:15] My dad liked Gordon Lightfoot. Gordon Lightfoot. I have no idea what he sings. Anyways, Lightfoot has a whole website dedicated to exposing the apparent truth that King is responsible for John Lennon's death. He highlights headlines from popular newspapers like Time and Newsweek, which apparently are government codes, and some examples are kiss kiss Bang bang. Ouch ouch. And the job Richard Nixon really wanted. Also, the killer's face and identity. These were supposedly printed three and two months before John Lennon's death. Mm. Lightfoot would also claims that the accused, Assassinator Mark David Chapman, wrote that he is armed upon, waiting to be moved into a hostile square by the giant hand of Ronald Reagan.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:00] Is this hand really giant?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:01] I think he means, like, metaphorically.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:03] Okay.

Seth Lawrence: [00:18:03] Influence.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:04] But apparently this lightfoot guy wore a size 14. I don't think his feet were light at all.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:09] Yeah. He's heavyfoot.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:09] Yeah. I'm sorry.

Cat Alvarado: [00:18:13] Allegedly, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan wanted Lennon dead because of his pro-peace policies. And they were communicating with Stephen King through encoded magazine articles.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:24] People could access information through magazines, but they were also shown a famous photograph, which was taken hours before John Lennon died, in which he signed an album from Mark Chapman or was it Stephen King? Chapman and King's resemblance is not to be ignored, and they could easily be confused for one another. According to Litefoot, Chapman is a paid patsy, a decoy King lookalike who was waiting in the police station while King, posing as Chapman, was murdering Lennon.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:52] Do they really look alike?

Cat Alvarado: [00:18:53] No.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:54] I think he.

Cat Alvarado: [00:18:55] King has a much smaller nose.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:56] I think if you went to school with them, they wouldn't look alike. But if one came up and shot you and ran away and then you saw the other, you might be like, I think that was the dude.

Seth Lawrence: [00:19:05] I mean, they both like generic overweight white guys.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:08] Yeah. That's right. So. So pretty interchangeable. Not if you knew him. Knew him. Yeah. And the thing about that, about this that doesn't make sense is, from what I've seen,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:19:18] This one thing is the only thing that doesn't make sense. Sure. What's the one thing that doesn't make sense?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:23] Well, apparently Chapman shot Lennon and stayed there until the cops came. So. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:19:27] He also confessed.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:28] Yeah, that doesn't make sense. And when I. When we first tossed this idea around. I thought, like Stephen King somehow activated him. I didn't know you were saying Stephen King pulled the trigger. That's.

Cat Alvarado: [00:19:39] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:39] Outrageous. Like.

Cat Alvarado: [00:19:41] Yes.

Seth Lawrence: [00:19:41] Is it? 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:43] Right

Cat Alvarado: [00:19:45] Like. And also this, this guy a Lightfoot. What is absolutely wild. I was reading a bit on his website. First off, he sells this pamphlet. It's like $10, but you can't really buy the pamphlet because if you try to click on the website, the button doesn't work. Um, but he says, mail me the check because the government hacked the buy button, the purchase button, and then there's like a whole about me and.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:07] They leave the mail alone. They won't. They won't, they won't mess with the mail.

Seth Lawrence: [00:20:12] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:12] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:20:13] He, um, he says he's failed golfer. He would have had a big golf career had he not come after the government like this. Also he's. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:22] The balls are in on it. Or how does this work exactly. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:20:25] I don't know no like like the government sabotaged his golf career. Like they came in.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:20:30] As they're prone to do.

Cat Alvarado: [00:20:31] Broke all his clubs or something.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:33] Right, right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:20:33] He had a really bad breakup with a chick who then said she was lying about her identity after a year, and he was, like, devastated. And now he doesn't believe anybody. So really, that's what this is about.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:44] I see.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:20:44] That's what I, if I, if I ever date again, I'm just gonna say that at the end of a relationship, you know, you thought I was Koji. I'm actually Dwayne Perkins,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:51] Right

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:20:54] This whole thing has been an elaborate lie.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:20:55] Yeah. All you gotta do is when you go to a house, just keep looking out the window. There. There, there.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:02] King does have connections to Lennon through his writing as well. The line we all shine on from Lennon's song Instant Karma is rumored to have inspired the title of King's The Shining in the sequel, The Shining. Doctor sleep, the lead character, hears not a second time by the Beatles. Wow. Okay. Another connection about The Shining, though, is that Kubrick's film adaptation is that Wendy reads catcher in the Rye, which Chapman professed inspired him to kill.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:27] Interesting.

Cat Alvarado: [00:21:27] Okay, but we also all read catcher in the Rye,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:30] But also. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:21:31] High school.

Seth Lawrence: [00:21:31] And not all of us kill.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:33] But catcher in the Rye is linked to a lot of shootings. You know, like the guy who shot Reagan but also catcher in the Rye.

Cat Alvarado: [00:21:38] Linked to shootings like water is linked to death like everyone who drinks water dies.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:42] Right? Right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:21:43] But no, they had copies on them.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:44] But Hinckley. Yeah. When he shot Reagan, he had a copy of catcher in the Rye.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:48] It's because catcher in the Rye is like, every boy's, like, wet dream about being like your own man.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:54] I read it. As an adult that I didn't. I didn't get it at all. But, I mean, I got the book.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:58] When you're 13.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:59] Right, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:59] Honestly. But, like, it's funny because, for example, Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, which is like a similar time period of a person that's Sylvia Plath is way more talented writer than J.D. Salinger ever was. But like, so you read you read like The Bell Jar. Now you're like, oh, she's an amazing writer. This is an amazing book. You read catcher in the Rye later, you're like, fuck this. Like, I don't know why I thought it was so good.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:19] There's some idiot, some idiot kid at a prep school who's mad at the world, and it's like, dude,

Cat Alvarado: [00:22:23] I hated it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:23] Make the most of the prep school situation.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:22:25] Yeah, but, boy, it speaks to boys, though.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:28] It does.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:22:28] It does speak to boys like 13 year old boys like,

Cat Alvarado: [00:22:30] Oh, everybody sucks. There's some phonies in there.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:34] Right, right, right. He's a phony. Yeah. Now, I know we're going to get into our theories here, but one thing I saw online, which was crazy and it's real because it was on Howard Stern. James Taylor was talking to Howard Stern.

Seth Lawrence: [00:22:46] Oh, yeah, he met this guy.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:47] James Taylor met this guy.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:22:49] Okay.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:49] The day before.

Cat Alvarado: [00:22:51] Lightfoot.

Seth Lawrence: [00:22:51] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:52] No, no. Chapman. The guy. The guy who shot John.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:22:54] Lennon, huh? No. King shot him. So.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:57] No, no, I know, but I mean, the shot,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:22:59] The patsy. The patsy.

Seth Lawrence: [00:23:00] Yeah, yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:00] James Taylor met him.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:23:02] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:02] And talked to him for a few minutes.

Seth Lawrence: [00:23:03] Yeah. In the subway. Right?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:04] Yeah. And he said. He said he was a little off, and then he. He walked away. And James Taylor lived in the next building. He lived one building over from John Lennon. And he was on the phone the next day, and he heard the shots and he was talking to someone on the phone, and he's like, I think the cops just shot someone. It's like the five shots. And. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:23:21] Sounds like he killed him.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:22] I mean, and then he hung up, and then that person called them back and said, that was John Lennon and he was like crazy. And apparently James Taylor also was on this guy's list of possible people to kill. So,

Seth Lawrence: [00:23:33] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:34] He could have killed James Taylor.

Cat Alvarado: [00:23:36] You know what this reminds me of that story in the Bible where the strangers show up and they're like, get out of here, strangers. And then Jesus is like, hey, it was me all along. That's a story, right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:23:47] What?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:23:48] I mean, I know Adele. Adele did that once. Adele,

Seth Lawrence: [00:23:52] I think you're Gonna need to run that Bible story back one more time. Can you hit those key points again?

Cat Alvarado: [00:23:58] I don't know, it's either in the New Testament or the old one.

Seth Lawrence: [00:24:00] Yeah,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:01] One of the Testaments.

Seth Lawrence: [00:24:02] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:02] It has to be the New Testament if it's Jesus, right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:05] Yeah, that's true,

Cat Alvarado: [00:24:05] I guess. I mean, he is the same today, forever and always. So.

Seth Lawrence: [00:24:09] Right, right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:24:10] At some point,

Seth Lawrence: [00:24:11] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:24:11] Somebody's like knocking on houses. And they were. They were angels. If it's the Old Testament, they were.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:15] Oh my God.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:16] Was he like the like the CEO that hides and goes work goes to the company or something?

Seth Lawrence: [00:24:21] Wait, are you talking about like in in Matthew 25 when he's like, you did it unto the least of these, my brethren, you did it unto me. That's what you're talking about.

Cat Alvarado: [00:24:28] Yeah, but there's also another one. I'm probably being confused because I bet a pastor once put them together in one sermon, and my brain was just like, all right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:24:34] It's one story now.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:35] So it's basically like, you might be dealing with God, so be careful.

Cat Alvarado: [00:24:39] Yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:24:39] Like treat others With kindness because. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:24:42] You never know if they're the undercover boss.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:44] Right? I used to have a joke about that because I used to say, whenever someone asks you for money before you say no, make sure ask them if there's if they're God.

Cat Alvarado: [00:24:52] And then. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:53] Because they said yes, because it's like the Cops. He's got to tell you if he is God.

Seth Lawrence: [00:24:57] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:57] If you're a YouTube prankster.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:58] Right? Right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:24:59] Like the Sphinx riddle.

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:00] Also ask a stranger, hey, am I on your list of people you might kill? And then be nice to them to bring it all back.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:07] This is the number one thing I tell my son all the time. I ask him like I coach baseball, I coach a bunch of kids and I always say, hey, who's the school shooter at your school? And I'm like, please befriend him. Be nice to him.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:16] So who's that guy who has that energy?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:18] Yeah, be nice to them. And so then he's about to shoot up the school. He'll be like, hey, hey, maybe you should go home and go to the bathroom. Go away.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:24] Right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:24] Cause that's like the, you know.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:26] Right?

Seth Lawrence: [00:25:26] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:27] That's what you do.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:28] All right. It's time to put on our thinking caps. Did Stephen King murder John Lennon? When we return, we'll settle this once and for all and figure out what really maybe happened.

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:39] I love how we always say, let's settle this once and for all. Like we're going to have a battle.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:42] That's so funny.

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:45] Settle this. I've got, like, a baseball bat with nails coming out of it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:49] Right?

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:51] Well, now that we've reviewed the evidence, let's give our theories.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:54] Okay, I'm gonna go first. Okay, so it's. Yes and no. Mhm. Um, did he kill John Lennon directly? No. That's crazy. But King is responsible for bringing back sci fi and horror. Right. As a genre. And he's really a vampire that's lived at least as far as I could tell, one century or maybe two. So that's part of the thing. So. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:12] That's a whole different podcast.

Seth Lawrence: [00:26:13] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:15] And so he actually wrote catcher in the Rye because, you know, J.D. Salinger was a recluse.

Seth Lawrence: [00:26:20] Okay.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:20] The reason he was a recluse was because he didn't exist.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:23] Interesting.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:23] It was actually Stephen King. The vampire. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:26:25] Pen name?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:26] Yeah, exactly.

Seth Lawrence: [00:26:27] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:27] And so he wrote that book. So the guy who killed Lennon. Obviously he wanted to be Holden Caulfield. So in a way, Stephen King inspired Chapman by writing catcher in the Rye and writing Holden Caulfield as a vampire that's lived 1 or 2 centuries.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:41] Interesting.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:42] I mean, do we really have to share anybody else's theories?

Seth Lawrence: [00:26:45] I mean, that's pretty. That's pretty airtight.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:47] We really don't. Yeah, yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:26:49] You had me. You had me at vampire.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:52] All right. Dwayne. Why don't you go next?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:54] Okay, now, mine is a little similar to yours, actually.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:57] Oh, okay.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:58] But when I think is this and we've talked about this before, so there's two things to consider. One is the MKUltra program, which we've talked about, which is a real thing that the CIA tried to sort of use mind control in war to take over people's minds, either to make soldiers hyped up or to, you know, infiltrate enemy's minds. And then also there's a movie from the 70s, which I love. And they turn it into a TV series, which was so great, I don't think. I don't think we got one season of it, maybe two. But the movie was called Three Days of the Condor with Robert Redford and the series in like 2018, I believe was called Condor. And in that series, similar to what you're saying, basically every book, every article is has some encoded messages. So that's how people hide and deliver information to each other in plain sight. So one example is there's the. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:49] Bible code.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:49] The Bible code, I don't I don't know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:51] Okay. Nevermind.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:51] Maybe I don't know what that means. But like Dean Koontz is a writer, right? And he has a book. It wasn't the first edition, but like maybe the third or fourth edition, this is real. In the 80s, he had a book, and I think the third edition of this book, some kind of thriller. And he had and this was in the 80s, something about a virus starting in the Wuhan section of China. Right. And you go ahead 30 years later and we have Covid that started in China, in Wuhan, I believe. So I don't know, exactly. Like who has the key to know, okay, what article and what information. So I think the two things sort of happened. I don't know if Stephen I think Stephen King was involved. They gave him what passages they needed him to write, like just 1 or 2 sentences. And he put him in the books, didn't ask any questions. And they knew with MK ultra they had these guys.

Cat Alvarado: [00:28:39] Programmed,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:40] Programmed. Like that Angela Lansbury movie.

Seth Lawrence: [00:28:43] Manchurian candidate. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:44] Manchurian Candidate, which, which they've redone. So I'm using the old movie. So. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:28:48] Yeah, the good one.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:49] As soon as this guy read that certain letters in a row, certain words that activated him, and they wanted to kill John Lennon because of the war thing. Now, why they haven't done that more is because they realized, well, if we can control people to kill people, we can just control people. So now they kind of they skipped it. They were like, why are we doing let's just control everyone. And so they skipped that part. And now. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:12] They can control people.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:12] They just control people through like social media and things like that. But I think MK ultra didn't go away. It worked. Maybe not exactly how they planned, and so they used MK ultra along with these coded messages to activate Chapman to kill John Lennon.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:28] Wow. Okay,

Cat Alvarado: [00:29:28] That was complicated.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:30] Yeah, yeah,

Cat Alvarado: [00:29:30] I followed it.

Seth Lawrence: [00:29:31] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:29:31] That was.

Seth Lawrence: [00:29:31] Yeah. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:32] How is it similar to mine?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:33] Um.

Seth Lawrence: [00:29:34] Well, using.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:35] Yours activated the guy. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:29:37] Know? Kind of. Eh.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:38] It activated. The guy was activated through the writing. So similar.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:41] Got it. But mine was a vampire. That's an important part of the story.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:44] No, no, Stephen King was a vampire.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:46] Stephen King was a man.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:47] Right, right, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:47] That's important.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:48] Not not Chapman.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:49] That's the most important part of my story.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:50] Okay, okay. So maybe it was different in that way. Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:52] Don't even compare my theory.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:53] Right, right, right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:29:57] I have two theories. One is about this and one is about Lightfoot. So first off, I do think that Richard Nixon probably had and Ronald Reagan and the Republicans had had John Lennon killed because John Lennon was spreading all these wild ideas about peace and love. And they didn't like them. They were like,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:30:17] And marrying Japanese women. That's it.

Cat Alvarado: [00:30:18] And that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:30:20] We had to be careful about that.

Cat Alvarado: [00:30:21] Cannot tolerate that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:30:22] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:30:22] No. Yeah. They really were upset about this communist treehugger making everybody else treehuggers. And then like, next thing you know, we're going to be electing a black man for president. In 2008.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:36] Right, right. Any. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:30:37] What's gonna happen in this world?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:39] And didn't John Lennon stay in bed for, like, 60 days or something weird like that? Him and Yoko?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:30:43] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:30:44] That's so communist. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:44] Not a good thing. Probably. Yeah. Got to get out of bed.

Seth Lawrence: [00:30:46] That's hot.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:47] Go to work.

Seth Lawrence: [00:30:47] That's so hot.

Cat Alvarado: [00:30:50] So I do think maybe. Maybe, uh, Nixon and whatnot. Cia had Mark David Chapman activated. Right. I like that theory. Lightfoot, on the other hand, I think he is secretly RFK Jr.

Seth Lawrence: [00:31:06] Okay.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:08] Why?

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:09] Because they're like the same person. Like, personality wise, they're, like identical. They all their conspiratorial.

Seth Lawrence: [00:31:18] Maybe. Maybe they shared the same worm.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:20] Yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:31:21] Maybe that's. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:22] That's a brain link.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:23] They met at one point when they had brain worms.

Seth Lawrence: [00:31:26] Yeah, yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:27] Became linked through quantum entanglement.

Seth Lawrence: [00:31:30] Right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:30] That is how they are the same person.

Seth Lawrence: [00:31:32] All right. Well, I'm on I'm on board with the I mean, there is a whole book written by this guy Fenton Bresler, advocating for this FBI, CIA activation link that Chapman was recruited when he visited Beirut and that that's where they programmed him. And then eventually he was triggered to do it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:53] Oh, so like almost like MKUltra thing.

Seth Lawrence: [00:31:55] Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. The one thing about the negative for John Lennon marrying an Asian woman is that Mark David Chapman also was married to an Asian woman.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:05] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:32:05] What?

Seth Lawrence: [00:32:06] I know it gets deeper. Um,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:08] Maybe it's the Asian woman,

Seth Lawrence: [00:32:09] But here's. Right, right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:32:11] She's the common.

Seth Lawrence: [00:32:12] It was actually a plot. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:32:13] Oh my God! Koji, you're in danger. You're also married to an Asian woman.

Seth Lawrence: [00:32:17] The thing is, it was a plot from Japan. Yoko Ono was sent to break up the Beatles.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:21] From the Emperor Hirohito.

Seth Lawrence: [00:32:22] Kind of failed. And so they needed Mark David Chapman to seal the deal.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:26] Oh. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:32:26] So, uh. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:27] Weren't they broken up yet? Already?

Seth Lawrence: [00:32:29] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:30] Okay.

Seth Lawrence: [00:32:30] Yes, they'd already broken up. I mean, David Chapman is such an interesting character, right? Because he gets John Lennon to sign an album before he shoots him. He's there all day. He sees John and then leave in the morning, and he waits until the evening to shoot him. Wild. And also on a side note, there was the health care manager CEO guy who just got gunned down. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:52] In New York. Yes,

Seth Lawrence: [00:32:53] In New York. Kind of in a similar way. Like shot in the back multiple times.

Cat Alvarado: [00:32:57] National treasure that CEO.

Seth Lawrence: [00:32:59] Yeah. Well, you know, an accountant just gunned down.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:02] He was married to a Japanese woman. So I don't know that.

Seth Lawrence: [00:33:07] But here's here's the thing that I want to throw in, okay? I think Mark David Chapman was put up to this. He might have been put up by the FBI or CIA, but I don't know why. No one's looking at Pete Best, who was the original drummer that got kicked out of the band. And I think he was just biding his time until he met Mark David Chapman. He fed him some info and bada bing, bada boom. Pete Best gets his revenge.

Cat Alvarado: [00:33:32] Classic lawyer technique.

Seth Lawrence: [00:33:34] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:33:34] Find another plausible suspect.

Seth Lawrence: [00:33:36] Absolutely.

Cat Alvarado: [00:33:37] Why didn't we investigate this one? Clearly, these detectives have not done their job.

Seth Lawrence: [00:33:42] They're not looking at Pete.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:43] Pete was. Pete was playing the long game, too.

Seth Lawrence: [00:33:45] Yeah, absolutely.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:46] Let's let them get famous. Let them be superstar. Let them break up.

Seth Lawrence: [00:33:49] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:50] Was he a better drummer than Ringo? You think?

Seth Lawrence: [00:33:53] I think the talent. He had better talent.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:57] Right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:33:57] But he was not as consistent and not as likable. Everybody liked Ringo.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:02] Right? Right, right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:34:02] Arguably, Ringo kept the Beatles together.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:04] I see, yeah. They actually called him. His name was Pete, right?

Seth Lawrence: [00:34:07] Pete best.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:08] Yeah. Um, yeah. When they. When things got really. No, I'm not going to do it. I'm not, I'm not I'm not even going to do it.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:14] Was it a Nazi joke?

Cat Alvarado: [00:34:15] No,

Seth Lawrence: [00:34:15] No. No, it was going to be a best pun.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:17] Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:19] Not the best.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:19] Yeah. That's exactly so. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:34:21] That's too low.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:22] It's. Yeah. Yeah. So. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:24] I thought it was a Nazi. I totally was thinking about.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:25] No, no, no.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:26] Sorry.

Cat Alvarado: [00:34:27] You think about them a lot.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:29] There you go.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:31] If I were a Caucasian dude, I'd be a Nazi. 100%.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:33] But. But. Right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:34:35] Oh, no.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:36] What I like about this theory, though, is that, like. Yeah, imagine if you were in the Beatles and then you weren't.

Seth Lawrence: [00:34:42] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:42] And like, it's no big deal in 1960, but by 1975, like, you've got to be like, yo like. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:34:50] Pulling out Your hair.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:51] Yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:34:51] Oh, yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:52] This this is. They're the biggest band ever.

Seth Lawrence: [00:34:54] Yeah Who cares when you're playing garbage clubs in Germany?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:58] Exactly.

Seth Lawrence: [00:34:59] So what? But then Ed Sullivan.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:01] Yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:35:01] You got to be kidding me. Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:03] Like you'd.

Seth Lawrence: [00:35:03] That's gotta hurt.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:04] You would have to dig deep to find a way to be okay with that.

Cat Alvarado: [00:35:07] He's. He's got a much better motive. And look at Dave. Mark, David Chapman has no motive. Really?

Seth Lawrence: [00:35:13] Yeah. Just like a sick man. I think Pete Best took advantage of a mentally ill guy.

Cat Alvarado: [00:35:18] Yeah,

Seth Lawrence: [00:35:18] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:35:19] He might have even paid him.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:20] Can I suggest that maybe Pete Best was a vampire?

Seth Lawrence: [00:35:23] Please. Please do.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:27] I mean, we don't know. He's not right, so.

Seth Lawrence: [00:35:31] No,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:31] You know, he's. He's trapped. It was Pete Best from, like, the 1960s.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:35] Is he alive?

Seth Lawrence: [00:35:36] It's a good question.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:36] Yeah. He's alive. He's a fucking vampire. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:42] Oh, you know what? I remember doing a deep dive on this guy. Actually, a deep dive. There was something with his mom. Yeah, his mom had some kind of weird affair,

Seth Lawrence: [00:35:51] Huh?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:51] Yeah, yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:35:52] With Ringo Starr.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:53] No, no, with. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:35:54] Stephen King. The vampire.

Seth Lawrence: [00:35:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's the love child.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:58] Mark David Chapman.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:00] Yeah. I mean. What I like about that is, you know how sometimes you see that guy who, like, missed out on something?

Seth Lawrence: [00:36:06] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:07] And they talked to him and he's always like, no, I'm okay. It wasn't meant for me. And.

Seth Lawrence: [00:36:11] Right, right, right.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:11] You know. It's much easier to have that attitude if you killed John Lennon, right? It's like, you know what? It wasn't for me. I mean, look what happened to John.

Seth Lawrence: [00:36:20] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think he ended up writing a book, or at least did some interviews where he did say it was very difficult.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:28] Right, right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:36:29] And then he had a turning point. But he's never been clear about what that catalyst was.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:33] Right. That turning point was.

Seth Lawrence: [00:36:34] I think we need to investigate.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:36] The Dakota is what it was. That's the building? Yes.

Cat Alvarado: [00:36:39] I mean, at the very least, I think he boned Yoko. Maybe. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:36:43] Pete Best.

Cat Alvarado: [00:36:43] Maybe he cucked John Lennon.

Seth Lawrence: [00:36:45] Maybe. I mean, maybe so. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:36:47] That killed him.

Seth Lawrence: [00:36:48] Did a service for us all.

Cat Alvarado: [00:36:49] Yeah. So at this point in the show, it's time for us to pick the unofficial, official story. One that will answer the question once and for all. So which theory are we going with?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:01] Okay. As much as I like my vampire story.

Seth Lawrence: [00:37:04] It is good.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:04] I think the Pete Best one makes the most sense. I mean, it just seems it just made sense to that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:08] Yeah, yeah. And I like all of them. And definitely MKUltra intrigues me. But yeah, that Pete Best, that was solid. That was I mean like. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:16] Right. When I heard it I thought, yeah, that's it.

Cat Alvarado: [00:37:18] I feel like two things were extremely legitimate that were stated at this table today. First of all, legally, I feel like Seth, you're Pete Best theory is the strongest.

Seth Lawrence: [00:37:27] Thank you.

Cat Alvarado: [00:37:27] Secondly, Gordon Lightfoot is RFK Jr.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:32] Well, no, wait.

Cat Alvarado: [00:37:33] Steven. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:34] Steven. Lightfoot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:37:36] Gordon Lightfoot is RFK junior. National treasure of Canada is RFK Jr.

Cat Alvarado: [00:37:46] I have a cold, you guys. I am not.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:48] Three zero right now. I mean, how do you vote, Seth?

Seth Lawrence: [00:37:51] I mean, I feel like I need to give Dwayne a vote because the MKUltra thing is one that I am really partial to, and I feel bad voting for myself.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:01] Yeah, and it doesn't matter.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:02] And you won anyway. Already? Yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:38:03] Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:38:07] I was an honorary nod.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:09] Yeah, right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:38:09] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:38:10] And there you go, guys. It was Pete Best, allegedly in the conservatory with the candlestick.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:16] Right. Nice.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:17] Allegedly. Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:38:19] And that's the official story, you guys. We'll take another break, and when we return, we'll try to figure out which celebrities were really killed by other celebrities.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:29] Are there any famous people you think were murdered by or hired someone to murder someone else? That's a very confusing sentence.

Cat Alvarado: [00:38:35] That is a great one.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:36] Okay, I have mine. Oh, wow. Mine is George Reeves, the former Superman.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:41] Yeah,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:41] Right. He was found dead with a gunshot wound to his head in the night in 1959. And this is what it was. The real Superman killed him.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:48] Mhm.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:49] Because he was mad that he thought, like, this guy's an impostor. He's not the real Superman. I'm the real Superman.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:53] Right, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:54] So then when he shot him, he thought he was just gonna bounce off his head because he's the real Superman.

Seth Lawrence: [00:38:58] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:58] Right. Right. Or then he was like, if you're Superman.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:00] Yeah, yeah. And then he killed him. And then he's like, oh, shit.

Seth Lawrence: [00:39:02] Right. I kind of like the idea of the real Superman using a gun. Could have done anything.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:10] Yeah, but no, he wanted to just. Yeah, it's too obvious. If his face was, like, caved in, it'd be too obvious.

Seth Lawrence: [00:39:15] Yeah, yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:16] So, like a gun,

Seth Lawrence: [00:39:17] Laser burns. Clearly. But a gunshot.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:21] Yeah. So George Reeves is the guy.

Seth Lawrence: [00:39:22] Wow.

Cat Alvarado: [00:39:23] I believe Brittany Murphy was murdered by Dakota Fanning.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:25] Why?

Seth Lawrence: [00:39:26] Wow.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:28] Wow. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Cat Alvarado: [00:39:30] Because she just loved her too much and didn't want anyone else to have her.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:34] Were they in a relationship?

Cat Alvarado: [00:39:35] No.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:35] Oh, okay.

Cat Alvarado: [00:39:38] Honestly, I was just like, who? What movies was Brittany Murphy in? And who would have killed her? Maybe Mila Kunis, because she wasn't just married with Ashton. So. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:49] Was she was in the Eminem movie, right?

Cat Alvarado: [00:39:50] Yes.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:51] Yeah. Eight mile.

Cat Alvarado: [00:39:51] Yeah. But who else was in that movie? No one.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:53] Right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:39:53] No one.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:54] Haley. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:39:55] Marshall Mathers was. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:55] Marshall Mathers Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:39:56] Oh, yeah. Eminem himself. What was I thinking? What was I thinking? Oh, yeah. Who played Eminem? We don't even know his name anymore.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:06] That's hilarious. That's hilarious.

Cat Alvarado: [00:40:09] Guys, I am sick, and I'm on a lot of cold medicine.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:12] Maybe Brittany Murphy is the real Eminem. Eminem?

Cat Alvarado: [00:40:14] She's the real Slim Shady.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:16] She's the real Slim Shady. And then like, they didn't want. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:40:18] All the other slim Shady's are just imitating.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:20] Right, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:25] Dwayne. Who's what about your answer?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:28] Well, obviously puffy or P Diddy, Diddy P Diddy, Diddy or whatever we're calling him. He's been in the news, so there's a lot there. Um, so I thought about doing that, but maybe that's a little easy.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:38] But he's a alive.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:39] One of them can be alive, right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:41] Yeah, true.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:41] So I'm thinking I don't I don't want to get myself in trouble, but I'm thinking, uh,

Cat Alvarado: [00:40:45] P. Diddy killed Tupac. That is one,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:48] Right. Or I was going to say more Jay-Z, but, uh, with biggie, but I think I think I want to go with he didn't do it but some people on his behalf or they he didn't ask for this, but some Jackie, some of Jackie Chan's people.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:01] Why are you looking at me?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:02] No, no, no. I'm just. I'm just because you're in front of me. Yeah, yeah, they took out. They took out Bruce Lee. So, you know, Jackie could become that that guy.

Cat Alvarado: [00:41:10] Oh, that's actually a good one.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:11] And 20 years later, it happened. So. Jackie, he was he was dope. But I mean, really, it took a he wasn't like a star in America.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:21] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:21] For a while. But, you know, people say that kind of maybe happened anyway.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:25] Yeah it's part of a conspiracy.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:26] Yeah. So I'm going with that one.

Seth Lawrence: [00:41:28] I don't like that Heath ledger passed away. And so I'd like to blame that on somebody. And I can't remember the guy's name now, but he's a famous actor who, uh, within the last few years, got in trouble for doing some acting classes where he had women in intimate scenes with him. You know who I'm talking about?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:49] Is he a director as well, or. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:41:51] Kind of. Um. And he has a James Franco.

Cat Alvarado: [00:41:54] Oh.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:55] Oh, wow. He did that?

Seth Lawrence: [00:41:57] Yeah. Well, allegedly.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:58] His brother is, uh. His brother is a famous actor, too, right?

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:02] Yes. Yeah. Uh, is it Danny? I don't know.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:06] John.

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:06] John. Franco.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:08] So is James the younger one? James. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:10] Is the older one.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:11] Oh, okay. Which one is the younger? 21 Jump Street. I don't know. I'm so bad with famous people.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:42:17] Why are you Writing it down. What are you writing down?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:19] I'm gonna. I'm gonna google it.

Cat Alvarado: [00:42:20] Look at every fourth letter, and we're gonna see if it activates.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:24] Right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:25] Uh, let me see. I've got 21 Jump Street up. I don't know, Dave. Yeah. Dave. Dave. Franco.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:30] Okay, okay.

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:31] So Dave Franco is his younger brother.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:32] Yeah. James Franco. I like that. I like that theory.

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:35] So I think James Franco took out Heath ledger to be the heartthrob king.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:39] I can see that. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:39] Of the 90s.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:40] He was on, like, Twitter, not Twitter. Uh, what's the dating thing?

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:43] Early 2000. Really? Uh, Raya?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:46] Uh, no. Was it Raya?

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:48] The dating app.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:49] The famous One, right?

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:49] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:49] Yeah, it's a dating app.

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:50] Truth social. You're thinking of Truth Social?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:52] No. Like the basic one that that a lot of people.

Cat Alvarado: [00:42:55] Tinder?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:55] Yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:56] Oh, Tinder.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:56] He was on Tinder or something like that. Like. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:42:59] James. Franco?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:42:59] Yeah. And it was like, unfair because everyone was like, dude, what are you doing?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:03] But nobody would believe. I mean, like, would you really think?

Cat Alvarado: [00:43:05] No, I think it was someone pretending I was getting catfished if I saw James.

Seth Lawrence: [00:43:09] Yeah. That's what.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:43:09] No, but, you know. But he probably was proving that it was him.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:13] How would you prove it?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:43:13] He was just pulling down Major tail, and everyone was like dude,

Seth Lawrence: [00:43:16] Show up and be like, tell everybody that this was for real.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:20] Do you write reviews on Tinder or. No.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:43:22] I've never been on Tinder.

Cat Alvarado: [00:43:23] No. You kind of Have to just show up and hope you don't get murdered.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:25] But there's no review. There should be a review process.

Cat Alvarado: [00:43:27] There isn't,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:27] Like an uber driver. 

Seth Lawrence: [00:43:29] Like craigslist for dating where it's just. Yeah, hope it goes well.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:32] I've been Married the whole time. Tinder has existed.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:43:34] Right, right.

Seth Lawrence: [00:43:34] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:43:34] No, we're literally risking death every time we meet people.

Seth Lawrence: [00:43:38] I mean, that's just in general for women, though.

Cat Alvarado: [00:43:40] Yeah,

Seth Lawrence: [00:43:40] That has nothing to do with. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:43:41] Risking death Every time we leave the house.

Seth Lawrence: [00:43:42] Yeah, exactly, exactly. Well, so what are you complaining about?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:46] At least everything got better, though.

Seth Lawrence: [00:43:50] At least there's a paper trail now.

Cat Alvarado: [00:43:54] And this is why I share my location with my mom.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:43:57] Wait, so. Okay, so to be a heartthrob in the 90s or.

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:00] The early 2000? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I think I think he passed away early 2000.

Cat Alvarado: [00:44:05] Mm.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:05] He really wanted to be in ten things I hate about you.

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:07] Right. And he was just so mad.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:08] That he couldn't be.

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:09] That he wasn't the Joker.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:11] What's your favorite Heath ledger movie?

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:12] Probably, uh, I mean, the most arguably, I don't know. I mean, The Dark Knight is just so good.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:18] Yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:18] So I think I'd put that one there, but Ten Things I Hate About You is just a fun, nostalgic classic.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:23] That's like my favorite, one of my favorite movies.

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:24] Knight's tale is also really good.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:25] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:26] That's what I like, that one. I know it's crazy.

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:28] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:28] With the jousting.

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:29] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:29] Like my wife was talking to me about ten things I hate about you. And she's, like, telling me the story. And I'm like, that's not right. And then I told her, literally, scene by scene, what happened? She's like, how many times have you seen that movie? I was like, it's one of my favorite movies of all time. Like, I could tell you, like, literally everything that happens in that movie.

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:44] Uh, any honorable mentions for The Patriot? For Heath ledger? Patriot.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:47] That was so weird. Because he's, like, Australian accent doing American.

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:50] I know he tried so Hard, though.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:55] I was like, this is the American Revolution.

Seth Lawrence: [00:44:56] Yeah,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:57] Okay.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:44:57] But maybe they sounded like that back then.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:44:59] No, maybe, I guess. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:00] I don't know.

Seth Lawrence: [00:45:01] I don't know.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:01] Who did you say?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:02] George Reeves.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:03] Oh, right. Right. That's right. That's right. You went first. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:06] Superman is, you know, with a.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:07] I like that,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:08] He's a jealous.

Cat Alvarado: [00:45:09] I think Nicolas Cage killed Nicolas Cage, but he keeps coming back to life because he's a vampire.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:14] That's hilarious.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:16] Did we do an episode? Nic cage as a vampire? No. We've done. We've done a bunch of people with vampires.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:20] Maybe. I'm not sure.

Cat Alvarado: [00:45:22] All the celebrities who are vampires,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:23] Maybe we did, uh.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:24] Cat's right? We did one episode. A bunch of people were celebrities. Bunch of celebrities were vampires. Because a lot of people think celebrities are vampires.

Seth Lawrence: [00:45:31] Yeah, because they just don't age.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:32] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:45:32] Right. And they keep coming back again.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:34] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:45:34] And they're not. They're not. It's it's the abortion fetuses that they drink every day.

Seth Lawrence: [00:45:38] Baby. The babies blood. Yeah. The stem cells. It's the stem cells.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:45:42] Stem cells?

Cat Alvarado: [00:45:44] No. It's Botox, you fools. Thank you, Seth, for coming on with us. Please tell us where people can follow you and listen to your podcasts.

Seth Lawrence: [00:45:51] Yeah, you can find my podcast anywhere you listen to podcasts. Just look up self, help yourself and you can find me on the web. Ever heard of it? Uh, at Seth Lawrence comedy.com and all my socials are Seth T Lawrence on Twitter or Instagram. Facebook.

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:09] Are you a blue sky yet?

Seth Lawrence: [00:46:10] And TikTok. I am not on blue sky.

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:12] Get on it.

Seth Lawrence: [00:46:13] Yeah. Is it fun?

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:14] Eh. It's fine.

Seth Lawrence: [00:46:15] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:15] I mean, it's basically Twitter, except without. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:17] It's Twitter.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:17] Toxic. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:18] But empty.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:19] Yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:46:19] Interesting. So there's room.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:21] We're both on Twitter now. Cat and I are on Twitter. So. Or. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:24] Blue sky. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:24] Or Blue Sky. Sorry. Blue sky.

Seth Lawrence: [00:46:25] All right. I'll get on there.

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:27] Yeah.

Seth Lawrence: [00:46:27] Is it just words?

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:29] Yeah, it's just words. But you can, like, subscribe to channels. So I have one for, like, pictures of cats, pictures of sighthounds, pictures of dogs with long snoots and noodle dogs. Those are like all the. These are multiple channels.

Seth Lawrence: [00:46:40] There's a Really clear Theme for you.

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:41] Uh, yeah. I'm like great. I never have to see another, like random neo-Nazi tweet ever again.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:46:48] Wait, did you say Nazi? Sorry.

Seth Lawrence: [00:46:52] I think. I think it should just be on a collar for a dog or a pet. Just some quotes.

Cat Alvarado: [00:46:57] Oh, God. And thank you all so much for listening. There are almost 4 million podcasts, and we're honored you've chosen to listen to ours. Please check our website unofficial official Story.com for our show notes or to hear our past episodes. Please follow us on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:47:14] Notice how we got rid of the X on there? We're no longer going to be on X. All right, so please consider writing a review of our show on the platform you're using to listen to this podcast. We know it's a pain in the butt, but it goes a long way in helping the show. It helps us reach new listeners, grow our show, and most importantly, it enables us to keep putting out our content that we hope you enjoy.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:47:34] And if you like the podcast, please be sure to share it with your friends, family, and even your enemies. You'll be doing a lot to help us keep bringing exciting and fun content every month.

Cat Alvarado: [00:47:43] Please join us next month where we're asking the question, Is Winnie the Pooh an allegory for mental illness?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:47:50] You guys wanted this one. I didn't want this one.

Seth Lawrence: [00:47:52] That sounds fun.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:47:53] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:47:53] Which one of us wanted that one?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:47:55] I think it was Dwayne.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:47:55] Maybe. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:47:56] You said you wanted it. Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:47:57] Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:47:58] Sounds very tenderhearted. How are we going to make that funny?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:48:01] No, I think we'll be okay.

Seth Lawrence: [00:48:02] It's a bear With no pants.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:48:03] Right right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:48:04] That's that's the way I like it.

Seth Lawrence: [00:48:06] Yeah. It's a bare bottom bear.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:48:08] Right. Plus, we get to talk about, you know, if you're stuck in the woods, would you rather come across a man or a bear?

Cat Alvarado: [00:48:13] If someone just walks around the world with no pants on, are they mentally ill.

Seth Lawrence: [00:48:18] Or are they a man?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:48:19] Yeah. And we also have to remember the saying to remember how we treat bears. So it's black. Fight back Brown stay down white, say good night.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:48:30] Oh,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:48:30] That's how do you remember what you two do with each like. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:48:33] Black Fight back Brown stay down white,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:48:36] Say good night. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:48:36] I feel it's the same thing with people. Yes.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:48:39] Ha, ha. Actually, at one of my classes in one of my classes, a student left my class. Okay, at the end of every screenwriting class, I have advice on how to get away with murder. How to stay safe from murder or crime. And the third one is how to stay safe from the world. And I was sharing the bear story, and the student came back in and thought I was talking about people, and she started getting really offended. And I was like, dude, bears, not people.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:49:03] Right, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:49:03] So don't worry about like, I'm not making a statement about white people.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:49:07] That's why you sometimes have to ask a clarifying question just to make sure you are.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:49:11] You're talking about four legged bears.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:49:14] Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:49:15] Not two legged humans.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:49:16] Yeah, I Think I think Arnold Drummond said it best when he asked the question, what are you talking about, Willis? And I think.

Cat Alvarado: [00:49:23] That'd be funny if you were being racist, though, but only very specifically to gay men who resemble bears.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:49:29] Right, right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:49:31] No I'm not racist in any other part of my life, but here.

Seth Lawrence: [00:49:34] Just a little homophobic. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:49:35] In West Hollywood specifically.

Seth Lawrence: [00:49:37] Yeah. Well, thank you guys so much for having me.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:49:39] Thanks so much for coming.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:49:40] Thank you, Thank you,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:49:41] Thank you, everyone, for listening. Bye. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:49:42] Bye.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:49:43] See ya.