Season 4 Best Episode

Cat Alvarado: [00:00:00] Welcome, welcome, welcome. This is the best of episode of the unofficial official story. I'm Cat.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:05] And I'm Dwayne. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:06] And I'm Koji,

Cat Alvarado: [00:00:07] And we'll be looking back at our favorite moments from season four. Can you believe we're done with four seasons?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:13] That is that is pretty massive, especially for LA, a place where there's only two seasons.

Cat Alvarado: [00:00:21] Yeah. And I think with all of us being such like busy people with comedy and traveling, especially you Dwayne, you're always on a cruise ship. It's a miracle we even find a way to meet. Like today. We were both 30 minutes late. I was 30 minutes late. You were 20 minutes late.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:34] So I'm 20 minutes late. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:00:37] Koji, thank you for putting up with us.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:39] Last. Last episode. I was 20 minutes late, so.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:41] Oh, that's right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:42] That was like, the first time. Yeah, I never.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:00:43] I was telling the guest that that doesn't happen.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:45] Yeah. I'm very rarely late.

Cat Alvarado: [00:00:46] Like one versus like 17. For me.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:00:49] This year, we're recognizing the host with the most number of stories chosen. And it's our guests that won with five wins this year. Dwayne had one. Sorry, Dwayne, Cat had two. And I'm happy to announce that I had three.

Cat Alvarado: [00:01:01] Yeah, but you're like. You're like the main host, and it's your house.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:05] Yeah, but. But I didn't win. I only got three out of the five guests won.

Cat Alvarado: [00:01:10] I know, but you won between all three of us.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:12] That's true. I'm also Asian, so that probably has something to do with it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:17] The aliens rigged it.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:18] Yeah. There you go. The aliens did rig it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:22] Let's get into it. What's your favorite moment from season five?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:25] Okay, so mine is actually from a recent episode. The last episode, episode 11, where Dwayne was talking about picking up guests or picking up people.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:33] Oh, right. Right, right.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:35] And it was just really funny because it's just random that you were picking up people. And every time I heard it, I still laugh. And I think, I think it's like, you know, very rarely do I keep laughing every time I hear it. But that was like one of the few times I kept laughing because it's like, why are you picking up people on Sunset Boulevard? Why are you picking up people from Ross for less? Or.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:01:50] And let's put it in context. Yeah. Picking up people. There's no quotes. There's no euphemism for anything. Just people like.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:01:56] You are literally picking them up and then driving them places. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:00] Kind of like, uh, before Uber non-paid pre Uber Uber if you will.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:06] Which makes it even weirder.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:08] And I've also been picked up I've been picked up.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:10] That's right in South Africa.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:11] South Africa.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:12] England.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:12] England Chicago.

Cat Alvarado: [00:02:14] You know I think we don't talk about enough like male privilege On this podcast. Only I only say this because it's like, Jesus Christ, you get picked up everywhere. And I if I was a woman and I got into cars like that, I would have been murdered.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:27] Well, women get picked up, but just differently.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:28] Yeah, yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:02:29] That is true. But those women get murdered at the highest rate.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:02:33] Yeah. The guy had he had seen my show, he was like, you did a show last night. And I was like, yes, you know, I don't know if he exactly proved it, but, you know, I was confident that he.

Cat Alvarado: [00:02:43] Um, if I even if it was someone who just saw my show, I would still probably get murdered by them.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:02:48] And my other favorite part from that was that Vanessa, our guest, was very indignant about you picking people up and dropping them off. She was very much about how It's the. It's the way you're going to get jumped or robbed or whatever. And why are you going to the jungle? It's just funny. I love the whole interaction. Let's listen to two clips from episode 11 with comedian Vanessa Graddick.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:08] I respected her enough to punch her in the face, you know what I mean? Or have I outsourced it? I wasn't going to punch her because I was driving.

Vanessa Graddick: [00:03:15] Why would you pick up a stranger? It's not the person in the car that you have to worry about in that particular situation. They could be bringing you to the setup.

Cat Alvarado: [00:03:23] That's true.

Vanessa Graddick: [00:03:23] Once you pull up, you have to trap.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:25] That's true. But it was it was like not a side street. It was just La Brea.

Vanessa Graddick: [00:03:28] Does not matter. I'm not doing this with you. You cannot explain away the fact that you picked up a complete stranger and took them to an unknown location. That is rule number one being broken but not getting kidnapped.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:03:43] She had a big lamp and she had trouble with it. So I took her home with the lamp. She lived in a jungle. Actually. If you guys know where that is, it's in South Central, where it's Denzel. Yeah. When Denzel said King Kong ain't got nothing on me. It was that street, actually, And, um, dropped her off. Helped her with the lamp. It was, you know, it was a little. You know, it was okay.

Vanessa Graddick: [00:04:02] Did you smash?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:03] No, no, no, she was much older. I met her son.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:04:05] Well, did you smash?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:06] No, no.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:04:07] Did you smash the son?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:04:08] No no no no no.

Vanessa Graddick: [00:04:11] If I'm picking up a bitch at Ross dress for less, helping with a lamp and going to the jungle, risking my life, there needs to be some smashing at the end of that.

Cat Alvarado: [00:04:21] Okay, so for me, I kind of go by the guests that made me laugh the hardest and I think that was Ben Gleib. I want to say he was really funny. I remember just having a really fun time with that, though I can't pinpoint exactly what joke or what moment, but I do remember laughing the hardest with him. And I also love every episode we have with Jonesy. That's always a really fun time. I like seriously, always look forward to doing episodes with him, but everybody was was really fun. It's hard to choose. And also a lot of these people are my friends, so I'm sorry.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:04:53] Here are clips from two of Cat's favorite episodes. The first clip is from episode four with Ben Gleib, followed by a clip from episode seven with comedian Jonesy.

Ben Gleib: [00:05:01] An encounter with a bear. Once, by the way.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:03] Oh, yeah. Where?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:05:03] Whoa!

Ben Gleib: [00:05:04] An encounter with a wild bear. I was in Sequoia. I was like, 9 or 10 years old, and I was camping with my family. And we're not big campers, and I've always been a night owl. And so my whole family goes to bed, and I'm up last by myself by the campfire. And our tent is, like, 10 or 12ft behind me. Zipped up. My family's sleeping, and I'm at the fire like, three feet in front of me. And then ten feet behind that is our food locker thing that's locked up. And I hear this rustling. And right behind the food locker, a head pops out and it's a bear, and it starts coming all the way out, and it's like a nine foot black bear. And it looks at me and I'm like, please keep moving. And it does not. It starts to walk immediately towards me. And so it's like very quickly like ten feet, eight feet, six feet. I'm like, oh shit. And they tell you to like stand up and make noise and, like, try to scare it. But there's no way I'm trying to scare a. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:05:59] Black fight back. Yeah. So.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:01] Right. That means make yourself big, right? Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:04] You literally fight.

Cat Alvarado: [00:06:05] You punch it.

Ben Gleib: [00:06:06] Antagonizing this bear. Maybe he's chill, and all of a sudden I yell at him. Doesn't seem, right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:11] The reason that they don't want you to lay down with the black bear is that they think you're prey.

Ben Gleib: [00:06:14] I was gonna lay down either.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:15] No, no, but but but the brown bear. They'll leave you alone.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:06:17] It's at night. You can't tell if it's black or brown, I imagine.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:06:21] No, they're very different.

Cat Alvarado: [00:06:22] I've heard black bears are smaller, so that size sounds like a brown bear.

Ben Gleib: [00:06:24] Or maybe it was brown, but it starts coming towards me, and I just get up and I bolt for the tent behind me. I figure thin piece of plastic will keep me safe. And I start unzipping the thing and I'm shouting, bear, bear, my brother to save his own life. Zips it back close.

Cat Alvarado: [00:06:41] Oh, no.

Ben Gleib: [00:06:42] I'm like, are you kidding me? I just like, ripped it open, dove in and zipped it back and literally 10s five seconds after I dive in, the whole side of the tent just knocks like the bear straight up came at me, bumped the whole side of the tent, continued on, and then all other campgrounds start screaming like moments later. It was wild.

Cat Alvarado: [00:07:02] And you were the only survivor.

Ben Gleib: [00:07:05] The only survivor. Everybody was killed that night.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:07:10] Jonesy. Well, who would you send back and why?

Jonesy: [00:07:13] Well, I would send myself back and, like Duane, this is out of ego. I'm gonna be a little selfish. I'm just gonna go back to, uh, the winter of 2003. Jamaica plain, Massachusetts. And I, uh, I screwed up a threesome. I mean, I dropped the ball, like, so.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:37] Very good use of a time machine.

Jonesy: [00:07:40] Yeah, man, I just didn't pick up on the signals until. I mean, it was really.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:07:46] Two women, right?

Jonesy: [00:07:47] Yeah. Of course. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:49] Thank you for clarifying.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:07:51] Because you know, if it's like two dudes or something, you don't need to do that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:54] Thank you for clarifying.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:07:55] I mean, there's nothing wrong with it though, but yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:07:56] No, I had this guy going on and on about this book once that pick up artist book or whatever. One of those books. I was like, I don't need that. And he's like, it really works. And then he was like, this book got me my first threesome. And then I was like, go on.

Jonesy: [00:08:11] There's a threesome chapter.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:08:14] And then he said, my second threesome. And so now I'm like, finally engaged because I, I've never needed a book. Right. But then we were at a conference like, so he's telling me about it for like a whole day, and then later on in the day, or maybe even the next day, he's somehow he lets it drop that this threesome was two guys. And I was like, yeah, you have to read a book to run a train. That's a train. Get out of here, man. You just. You just came upon a girl that wanted that, like. Get out of here. I never read that book. It's tough. I'm. I'm torn between two things, but I would say my favorite moment was having David Kau on, because he's my friend from South Africa.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:08:58] And that's from episode six, by the way.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:01] And we were talking about kids in Africa who all saw an alien, which is kind of like super credible because you don't normally have black people saying they saw an alien.

Cat Alvarado: [00:09:11] You know, I've never thought about that. But, you know, yeah, seeing things like Bigfoot or Aliens really is kind of a white thing. Like, it's always a white person from, like, the middle of the forest.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:09:20] And aliens won't. And excuse me, Asians won't say anything because they are aliens.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:09:26] Well, also, it's because there's no I mean, people will lose credibility. Like, if a black person went out there and started saying, I see an alien, or I saw Bigfoot, they'll be like, you're crazy, and they might put you. They might institutionalize you.

Cat Alvarado: [00:09:37] Yeah, I mean, I guess there is a little bit of that. Like maybe people don't speak up because they feel unsafe.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:09:42] Let's listen to a clip from episode six with South African comedian David Kao.

Cat Alvarado: [00:09:46] If you saw an alien as a child, who would have believed you and who would have assumed you're lying.

David Kao: [00:09:51] So I think the kids in the neighborhood would definitely have believed me. But with black people, especially in South Africa and how we grew up. So remember, we grew up separate from where white people lived and black people lived separate. So if you understand the concept of witchcraft, there were times when we were growing up and they would say they caught a witch, or they found a witch who was flying on a broom, and then they got stuck somewhere. Then half the township would run and go and see or go look at this place or area where supposedly this witch was stuck there or fell, you know, from bewitching or flying at night and stuff. So we always believed that growing up. So if someone then said, yo, there's a spaceship somewhere, you don't even have to convince anyone. So literally anyone, anyone who's able bodied. So you might find like old grannies who can't really walk or walk too slow, or the kids would be the first ones running or trying to find this. And then your adult people in their 20s or 30s or despite their profession, people would first want to go and see, but they wouldn't outright say, there's no way you're crazy. You didn't see an alien. They were the ones they would want to find out where. And then they'd want to go check it out before they dismiss it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:15] What's your favorite theory We've come up with theory.

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:18] Um, gosh. That's hard. We do one episode a month, so it's hard to remember.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:11:24] They don't pick you guys. Don't pick my theory. So, um.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:11:29] My favorite one is going to be where Bruce Lee was actually African American from episode two.

Cat Alvarado: [00:11:34] Oh, I like that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:11:35] Because if Tupac was Japanese, then Bruce Lee has to be Asian or has to be African-American because like, Bruce Lee is like the most important person to Asian Americans. I mean, when when people used to make fun of Asian men, Bruce Lee was like the one guy that no one would make fun of. And Tupac is kind of an important figure in the African-American community. So I figured it just made sense that he had to be he had to be black. Here's a clip featuring my theory from episode two. So my thing is, I was actually listening to an old episode of ours, and I was from season two where I said Tupac was Japanese. To do honor to that episode and just to make things right in the world. My theory is that actually Bruce Lee is African-American.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:13] Oh, wow.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:13] And I was about to come out that he was gonna that he was actually African American.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:17] Like, mix or something.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:18] No, no, just straight black. Like he was about to come out and it was going to be this big, like, it's gonna be this big, like controversy because they already don't like, you know, like non-Chinese people doing it. And so he's like, you know, I just gotta fake my death. And so he came up with this thing, and, you know, he.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:31] Faked It.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:31] He faked it. Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:32] Interesting.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:33] And then he just went back like that. He just went back. Came back to LA and just lived the rest of his life.

Cat Alvarado: [00:12:37] As a guy.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:12:38] As a just a regular guy. Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:12:41] I like when Travis Scott's concert, the that whole debacle that I like the whole theory that the government was in on it because they think he's satanic and they wanted to, like, debunk him. Was that a theory or am I just making that up right now? But I feel like I remember that being a theory.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:12:57] I'm not sure what we what we voted on.

Cat Alvarado: [00:12:59] That was a fun episode because at the end we read about the Satanic Bible and we were like, oh, actually, this sounds pretty great, right?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:06] But I think I wasn't on that one. Right. So that's.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:08] Oh yeah. That's right. You weren't. That's awkward.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:13:10] No. Right, right. Well, what was I on a ship? And we just kept having to reschedule.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:13:15] Yeah. Then it was too late. Yeah. Let's take a look at Jonesy's winning theory from episode eight. About whether Travis Scott's Astroworld festival was a blood sacrifice.

Jonesy: [00:13:23] Yeah, well, I agree, I agree with Cat in that Travis himself is not a Satanist. I mean, if you want to find Satanism and satanic themes in music, you don't have to look far. It doesn't take a conspiracy theory. There are actually satanic bands out there, you know that that. And this is their whole marketing thing. This this whole thing. I'll name you some of these satanic bands in case some of the listeners are interested in and stepping over to the dark side. But bands like venom, Mercyful Fate, Gorgoroth whose founder considers himself to be Satan's minister on Earth. Now there's also a band called morbid Angel. Now these bands, you know, when you want to talk about, uh, you know, symbolism at shows, you can just imagine what's going on over there. They're probably biting the heads off of bats on stage. You know, there's probably goat's blood in there. Who knows what's going on. But you don't have to look far to find satanic themes at these shows. His show was very mild, I would say, even looking at the imagery. No, my theory is that the mayor of Houston really is against Auto-Tune. Can't stand it. Big fan of Ludacris. Big fan of like, the the you know, the traditional rappers that we all grew up with and and it's like, I'm going to sabotage this show so that we have no more of these autotune people coming here to Houston and just polluting, polluting the the live music scene here with their autotune, you know, the the cheap technological cheat code that is going on here. And so therefore doesn't really put in too much security, you know, tells, hey, we'll send a few cops, but they'll have to go crazy, you know, I mean, how do you explain not having any police there? Hardly any or hardly any security. Now, I know you mentioned Koji, that they like to be cheap, but that doesn't explain why the local police weren't really, uh, you know, on board. You know, maybe the venue might be cheap with that, but, like, you would have more police, right? You'd have way more police. You know, his kinds of shows are out of control.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:36] Actually, the other one for, uh, the Red lobster episode for from Ben Glieb. His was the. It wasn't Red lobster, it was red crab or something. Or red. What was it? It was like a it was like. It was like another kind of place.

Cat Alvarado: [00:15:47] That, like, the octopuses, are the owners of the Red lobster chain.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:50] Oh that's right. It was supposed to be red. It was supposed to be red octopus.

Cat Alvarado: [00:15:53] Okay.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:15:54] And then they made it.

Cat Alvarado: [00:15:55] Octopuses are smart enough to change it to lobster,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:15:58] Right?

Cat Alvarado: [00:15:59] Oh, that's a good theory.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:01] That episode messed with me.

Cat Alvarado: [00:16:02] Really? How so?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:03] I don't know if I told you guys this. I think sometime after that, I was in, um. I was in Taiwan. I was in Taipei doing some doing shows there. And they have this sort of like they have a lot of, like, street food. And one of the street foods is, uh, it's squid. Which, like, looks like baby octopus.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:21] All Asians have that. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:22] Yeah. And so it's like fried squid. It's grilled squid. It's just squid. Squid. Squid, squid.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:16:26] And giant squid. Right?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:16:28] Yeah. So I, you know, I kept eating it, and it was good. And then I think it was a repressed thought. I was like, wait, aren't. Aren't they really smart? Should we be eating them? And so then I just I just tried to put it back, put it out of my head that like two nights after being in Taipei and eating squid, like once or twice a day. I had had the craziest dream. And then after that, I had no more squid for the rest of my trip there. And even right now, I'm like, I'm like, really touch and go with calamari and everything. I had a dream that I was walking through trains. I love trains. And then I saw a plant and I looked closer at the plant and I was like, it's a nice plant. And then I saw a spider in the plant. Right? I looked at the spider and then it kept the spider was getting. It just suddenly started getting bigger and bigger and I backed away from it like, oh man, this spider is out of control. Then it wasn't a spider. It was actually an octopus, squid, octopus kind of thing. And as I was trying to back up, I couldn't back up and it just lunged at my face and like, almost suctioned my face. And then I woke up screaming. Well, yeah,

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:30] Actually that episode has had an effect on me as well, because. So my son's original nickname on his baseball team was monkey, because I asked him the question, would you rather be the smartest monkey or the stupidest human? And he chose monkey. And so then we came up with the whole San Diego Zoo. We found him. But it makes more sense because his name is Takeo, which sounds like Taco. That's actually why everyone calls him Taco. But in Japanese. Tacos. Octopus.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:51] Interesting.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:52] And then, because of the episode, I was like, well, you could just be the smartest octopus now, which is actually probably pretty smart.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:17:56] That's actually pretty good.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:17:57] So then he's Taco now, which is the octopus. Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:00] That's really cool. And then I thought eating this octopus squid. Are they so smart that even in death, they release something to sort of make your brain?

Cat Alvarado: [00:18:08] I think they probably have, like, a collective subconscious. So, like, they know that you're, like, they're probably way more magical than we give them credit. And so they, like, sent you that dream. Like they could. Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:19] It was tough.

Cat Alvarado: [00:18:19] Give you those vibes. I was watching Instagram yesterday and there was one about Dolphins are really smart too. And these dolphins were peeing up into the air in the Amazon so you could see their wieners, which is really weird. A dolphin wiener.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:33] That turns me on, I'm saying.

Cat Alvarado: [00:18:34] Oh, God. But I'm like, what if they have a culture and like, dolphin language communicate which they say that they do. What is the deal with peeing into the air? Or are they really so much like us that they do dumb shit? Because I don't men literally have like actual pissing contests when they're like, young.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:56] Yeah,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:56] Yeah. Sometimes. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:18:57] It's kind of fun to watch it go.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:18:58] Cross the streams. Like. Like Ghostbusters. Kind of.

Cat Alvarado: [00:19:02] Or see how high it can go. I think I heard that on a podcast.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:05] That's tough, because it's got to come down somewhere.

Cat Alvarado: [00:19:07] Onto a wall.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:19:08] Yeah, it's more about crossing the streams and seeing how far you can get more than up, I think.

Cat Alvarado: [00:19:13] Men are so weird

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:14] I would, I would, I would, I would agree.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:19:16] The other theory I really like was from episode four with a comedian, Ben Gleib. Here's Ben's theory.

Ben Gleib: [00:19:20] Well, what happened was they live on an eight pronged planet that kind of looks like your headphone splitter. They live on an eight pronged planet that just has tentacles coming out of it. And every, every time an octopus is born on that planet, it spawns off little mini octopi that just replicate the size and shape of the planet. But they themselves become the flying saucer, so to speak.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:19:43] So they're like a flying saucer or they're like a mini planet.

Ben Gleib: [00:19:47] They're like, well, like a mini planet, but they can travel and direct very well. So they're more like a direct or more like an asteroid, I suppose. And they can obviously fly and float with the kind of the eight arms, you know, if you had any less, it wouldn't suffice. And, um, the reason they came to Earth, though, you were wrong about what you thought Dwayne the reason they came to Earth was a lot of people don't know this, but Red lobster initially, I don't know why you would laugh at that. Red lobster was originally going to be called the Purple Octopus, and it was going to be serving exclusively octopus octopi. And you'd get a discount if you came with a party of eight. Otherwise you had to just bring doggie bags or octopus bags, as it were. And so they heard about this and they knew that, that they'd already pre colonized Earth and they were like roaming free a lot. And that was one of their favorite places. Like, like you guys mentioned that they like the water. They wanted to come swim, but and it was a good environment for them. But they needed to stop the the purple octopus from launching. And so they came and surrounded like in a kind of a goo gel manner. The Red lobster headquarters that was at the time called the Purple Octopus. And they didn't let anybody in there breathe. Kind of like holding a shark until it doesn't move anymore. And they communicated in various different ways, like an orca on a bridge or whatever way they communicate in different ways. And they convinced them like, fuck the lobsters, like lobsters is who you should go for. They're delicious. It's kind of like a like a challenge to get in there.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:09] So they kind of put this idea in there.

Ben Gleib: [00:21:10] That's right. They sold they threw lobsters under the bus. And to this day forward, lobsters, you know, get eaten at a rapid rate and you eat a lot less octopus. We still eat octopus. But there's no chain restaurant at least.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:26] And my favorite theory, I feel like, um, when we did the the bear one, the Winnie the Pooh one, I feel like we went with the guests, but mine, mine was close, right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:21:38] Okay.

Cat Alvarado: [00:21:38] Yeah. I remember that.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:38] Because because because I think my theory was I had two, but one was that like the government made the poo thing jump off because the writer was also very anti antiwar and they didn't want they wanted to stifle that part of him.

Cat Alvarado: [00:21:52] I wish the government still did that so I could be more, more comedic, like get that algorithm on meta to push my comedy so that I talk less about politics.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:21:59] Oh, that's a good one. So like, but you have to give them two things to choose from.

Cat Alvarado: [00:22:03] One that threatens the government and one that's your successful dream. And then the government goes, hey, let's push the dream. That way this person shuts up.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:22:09] Let's listen to Dwayne's theory from episode ten and Adam Yenser's theory on episode nine and see how close they really were.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:22:15] I guess my theory is okay. It's a two fold thing. One part of it is not like that crazy. And I think the other part is a little, little off the path. So I think that, um, it's not an allegory per se, like he meant to do this, but I think he suffered a lot of trauma, and I think he wasn't a great like dad from the sense of, like, he didn't know how to love his son. And I think it's like someone who has, um, like, dementia, but there's just certain things that like trigger them and then they can be kind of lucid for a little while and then they go back. So I think he was the most lucid he was, was when he was writing. He had a great talent for writing. So he might have been like borderline lunatic, but when he was writing, it was like it came out really like something that people liked. It came out good. So there was only a hint of his, his craziness. So I think that's one side of it, you know. So he wrote, he was prolific because that was his happy place. And he could kind of like at least honor his son, because when they were just sort of like one on one, he was just kind of awkward. Right? So it was a way to tap into his, his sanity and at least have something that he feels he could, like leave his son. That's that's good and better than their their day to day interaction. But I think also he was such an anti-war person and a pacifist that the military industrial complex, once they got wind of how his talent as a writer, they just pushed the shit out of this poo situation. That sounds that sounds that sounds horrific. But yeah, they pushed pooh. So no, they pushed it because they wanted him to be famous for this and not mute. His anti-war.

Adam Yenser: [00:23:48] Milhne was a man after my own Nature. In that he was very uncomfortable discussing in public which animated characters that you'd like to have sex with. It just it just weirded him out. But he would always go to these cocktail parties and neighbor's houses, and he'd when he's hanging out with his son and his friends, people would keep asking, oh, if you had to have sex with an animated character, who would it be? And he hated it. It just got to him and he said, you know what? I am going to make a cartoon where every single animated character is physically unattractive and has a huge red flag. So it's like one of them is going to be fat and have obsessive compulsive disorder. The other one is going to be a single mom and be overprotective. The other one is going to be neurotic and run around all the time and have an anxiety disorder. That way no one can ever, no matter how old they get, they can never sexualize these characters because they have no physical attraction to them, and they can't develop an emotional attraction like you. So he set out to make the most unsexy cartoon characters of all time.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:24:47] Now tell me about the single mom.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:52] So he really wanted to stop the war on cartoons.

Adam Yenser: [00:24:56] Yeah, he was.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:24:56] Like the war on on.

Adam Yenser: [00:24:57] None of these characters be sexual. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:00] Jokes on you. Because I love fat, neurotic men who love honey and don't wear pants.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:10] If you could share one piece of advice from the show with the listener, what would it be? I like Koji's advice that you give sometimes. You always give your writing class that piece of advice at the end.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:21] Oh yeah? Which one?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:22] There's two is that one is how to stay alive. Right?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:25] Yeah. So the three things I do is how to stay alive, how to stay safe from a crime, and how to get away with a crime are the three things I talk about in class.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:31] So how do you. What is to stay alive? One.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:33] I have lots of different ones. Yeah, I have like, I have like 500 pieces of advice I give my students. Do you want to hear one right now? I could give you one right now.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:25:40] Sure, sure.

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:40] Give us one.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:41] What is the best vehicle to get away with in a crime or best mode of transportation?

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:45] Probably like a Honda Civic, because it will blend in.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:49] Not for an Asian person. No kidding? Um, no. It's actually bicycle.

Cat Alvarado: [00:25:52] Really?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:25:53] Because if you think about it first, bicycles are the least like like people don't notice them. Mhm. Second, they could go on or off road. They could go to places that you can't go normally. Like you could go like in between buildings for example. And they're easier to ditch. Like if you just need to ditch a bike and walk or ditch a bike and get in a car, it's much easier. So it's actually funny when that guy that killed the CEO, he used a bike, and all my students from all my classes in like three years were like, oh my God, Koji, did that guy take your advice?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:26:23] That's funny.

Cat Alvarado: [00:26:24] Because he was a listener. What if Luigi Mangione listened to this podcast.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:28] And he's like, it's kind of like a fun. I mean, it's that's why I always told my students, if you take my advice and it works, please let me know. Here's one of my pieces of advice from episode four, Something I tell all my students in my writing classes is this black fight back brown, lay down white, say good night. And it's in response to bears. Yeah.

Ben Gleib: [00:26:43] I don't know what that means. White say good night.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:45] Because it's a polar bear. It's gonna kill you.

Ben Gleib: [00:26:47] Polar bears are the most aggressive bears.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:49] Polar bears are the most dangerous animal.

Cat Alvarado: [00:26:50] Because they're the hungriest.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:51] No, it's the apex predator. It kills. It kills humans.

Ben Gleib: [00:26:54] Really?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:26:54] Yeah, it actually hunts humans. But, um, one time I was in class and one of the students walked away and came back and thought I was talking about people. And he was, like, getting offended because he was. He was like a Caucasian guy. He was getting offended. I was like, no, no, no, it's bears, not humans,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:09] Because it's. It's brown.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:11] Lay down,

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:11] Lay down.

Cat Alvarado: [00:27:12] The whites are the apex remember.

Ben Gleib: [00:27:15] Say good night to the whites. They're the only ones you have to speak to.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:18] That's that kind of could work for people. You know what I mean?

Cat Alvarado: [00:27:23] Ooh. What's my advice? Oh, um, probably be careful with, uh, pissing people off, because it seems like there's always know.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:27:31] What's the favorite thing you learned in this episode?

Cat Alvarado: [00:27:34] Yeah. I mean, but that that is advice that I learned because I'm thinking about the Bruce Lee one, and I'm thinking about the Winnie the Pooh one, and there's so many that John Lennon one, like, if you piss people off, they will come and get you. So be careful. Like like if you get too successful, like you need to watch out because you're gonna have a target on your back.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:27:54] That's true. But then. But then that means are you subconsciously working against yourself or self-sabotaging? You know.

Cat Alvarado: [00:28:01] I mean, I probably am, yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:04] The tall grass gets cut, right? 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:28:06] Well, that's like, uh, one of one of the pieces of advice for writing that I give is that if you're not pissing somebody off, you're not doing real writing.

Cat Alvarado: [00:28:12] But on the flip side, it's like, be aware of who you might be pissing off because there's some people you can compete against, and nothing bad's going to happen. But if you like, go against the, uh, what are the people who are the, um. I'm forgetting the name. The Japanese gang.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:28:25] Yakuza?

Cat Alvarado: [00:28:26] Yeah. Don't don't like, piss off the yakuza, because then you're going to die like Bruce Lee. Or did I just come up with a new theory just now.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:28:34] No, I mean, that was Chinese and Japanese. That's a little bit different, but that's okay.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:37] But I think they do have.

Cat Alvarado: [00:28:38] Asian people.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:28:39] There is a conspiracy.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:40] No, but they do have yakuza that are sometimes not Japanese.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:28:43] Yeah, but they're in Japan, though. They're never in. They wouldn't be in, like Hong Kong, for example.

Cat Alvarado: [00:28:47] Well, like whatever the Chinese yakuza is, I'm sure they exist. Yes, that's what I meant.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:52] That's what I meant to say. There are Korean triads, too, I believe.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:28:55] That's right. There's a whole. You had the thing about. I don't know if that was this season, though.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:28:58] No, no, it wasn't this season. I'm just saying that all Korean triads I had a run in.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:02] That's right. In Macao.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:04] In Macao? Yes, exactly.

Cat Alvarado: [00:29:05] But I mean, that's what I mean. It's like you don't piss off whatever the gang is that is creating success. Like, one time I had a podcast episode on my old podcast, Villains of History about his El Chapo, and my mom was like, take that shit down because he will make your airplane crash. .

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:29:23] What is he jesus?

Cat Alvarado: [00:29:23] What happened? They say that's what happened to, uh. To. Oh, my God, what's her name? Her daughter's name is Chiquis. And I'm so bad at.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:31] I know you're talking about.

Cat Alvarado: [00:29:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was this, like, Mexican Jenni Rivera. She's a Mexican singer. And she was talking trash about the cartels. And then her plane mysteriously crashed. Just like Aaliyah with R Kelly. Her plane mysteriously crashed. Like, just be careful who you piss off.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:29:49] Like, I guess the thing is, sometimes you don't know that there's been a change until something happens, right? So, like when John Lennon got murdered, there was. It was even though it was like late 70s, 79, it was a different time. So you you could be John Lennon famous and walk down the street, you know. So but he probably represents the end of that because of what happened to him. So I think it's one of those things where when you're getting super famous, you like realize you need security before you like, need the security. You know, because I was on a, um, I did Conan with that girl America. I forget her last name, but, um. Really?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:30:26] Ferrera?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:26] Yeah. Really pretty in person. And she was, like, on a show. She was on, I think Ugly Betty at the time.

Cat Alvarado: [00:30:30] But really pretty in person. What are you saying on TV? She's not pretty.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:33] No, no, she is. I'm saying she's stunning. She's even prettier in person. And so she told the story about how she, like, bought a couch or something from someone not realizing who she was. And the guy just brings it to her house. And then he's like, hey, aren't you? And she's like, uh, no, no, I'm another girl named America. You know what I mean? It's like.

Cat Alvarado: [00:30:52] Who looks just like America?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:30:54] Yeah, yeah. So with the John Lennon thing, it's tough because you don't even have to be John Lennon famous nowadays because we're comedians and someone has your your calendars on there.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:04] People dox you. Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:05] And anyone can come to your show. I've had people come to my show not to murder me, but still like people I've dated or whatever. They've just popped up at shows. It's it's it's terrifying.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:15] It's so uncomfortable.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:16] As soon as you get the money to afford a security.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:20] Yeah.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:20] Even if it's just the person who does your, like all your Instagram photos. But also they've taken a few taekwondo classes or something like that.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:28] Or even like Lady Gaga's dog didn't they get kidnapped.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:30] Oh yeah, they got kidnapped.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:31] Yeah, the guy got shot, right? The dog walker got shot. It wasn't even the famous.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:31:35] Are you serious? I didn't know this.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:36] Yeah, it was like earlier this year. It was last year.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:38] Last year?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:39] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:39] Oh. That's wild.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:31:40] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:31:40] Well, also, like, I don't know, she's she's not like, household name famous, but she still has, you know a lot of a decent amount of fame. Aida Rodriguez comedian. So she started talking about how, like, all Latinos are racist against each other and the hierarchy of that, and that pissed off a lot of people. And I heard not first hand, second hand from somebody who actually knows her, that she had to move into a gated community after her HBO special came out, and she actually had a bit more fame.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:07] Randall Park from the interview. He was, uh, the North Korean dictator. And then they put a hit on it. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:13] From the people I've slept with.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:15] Yeah, from the people I slept with. That was his. That was his first movie he was in. But yeah, yeah, he played the North Korean dictator. And they had to have they had to have, uh, security because.

Cat Alvarado: [00:32:22] They eventually take it away or.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:24] Yeah. I think he's fine now.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:32:25] Yeah. But I don't think it it kind of didn't get the release or the promotion it could have because of that. 

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:31] Yeah. Because I think it was there was kind of a a pall over the whole movie. But okay, so my thing, the favorite thing that I learned was I, it took me a while to figure out what the hell my notes were, but then I remembered it. So it was yours in episode seven, Cat, where you talked about what you wanted to do with time travel. Do you remember what you wanted to do with time travel?

Cat Alvarado: [00:32:48] Oh, yeah. It was. Oh. Um. Go back in time so that my, I could, like, make sure that my, the guy I liked wouldn't, um.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:32:59] He would be ready for you. Yeah. And then that's funny because Vanessa said the same thing.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:03] Right. Yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:04] Which was that was her.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:05] Like, who hurt you?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:06] Yeah. Who hurt you? Because she could go back and then or her, like, serial killer crime would be to like. Like her backstory was that she got hurt, and then she'd make sure that other people don't get hurt, so she'd get the people. So I just thought it was weird that the two, those two things.

Cat Alvarado: [00:33:19] Matched.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:19] That they matched.

Cat Alvarado: [00:33:21] I think I had a string of those where all of my. What would you do? Ifs were like, well, I think I want to hurt my ex-boyfriend or stop him from getting hurt. Yeah. What's funny is, like, you bring that up and, like, stuff with the person who I was seeing when I said that, they're like, so long over. We don't even talk. We went no contact.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:33:41] That's good.

Cat Alvarado: [00:33:41] Yeah. No. That's good. I mean, like, is it a bummer? I mean, a little bit, but I think it's for the best because he's acting like a wild person now. And I'm glad I don't have to see it.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:51] As long as you leave someone and you hope in better shape than when you found them, not right away. They may not see it that way, but yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:33:59] Oh, he didn't.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:33:59] Because hopefully you're not. You're not also creating these. None of us are creating these people who are going to be nightmares for someone else in the future. And maybe they are. Maybe we had nothing to do with it, but that's.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:11] Yeah. And that's why my advice to my son in relationships is what I tell him about anybody he's about to date. I say she could be replaced. She's not so special that that you can't find somebody who's as good as her. But the flip side is you could also be replaced. So that if you're an asshole. She could find somebody else, too. You know, they have to. You have to, like, demand to be treated in a way that's good and nice and supportive.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:34:35] You don't have a fur coat on when you say this. Like what? Like big heels with a fish tank in them. Listen, they're like buses. Player, okay? They come every hour on the hour.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:34:46] But I think it's the flip side to it that's important that, you know, like, you can't be the asshole either. If you were the asshole, she could just find somebody else as good as you or better than you, too. So it goes both ways, I think. And that's the important thing. Let's see how close they really were. Let's listen to what Cat would do if she could travel back in time in episode seven. And what comedian Vanessa Graddick serial killer backstory would be from episode 11.

Cat Alvarado: [00:35:06] Oh, so this guy I'm dating?

Jonesy: [00:35:11] Yeah.

Cat Alvarado: [00:35:12] I'm dating.

Jonesy: [00:35:13] Oh, God.

Cat Alvarado: [00:35:14] Currently doesn't want to. He's not ready for a relationship, but there was a time when he was so.

Jonesy: [00:35:18] Oh, you want to go back in time when he was.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:35:20] Just, like, three weeks ago?

Cat Alvarado: [00:35:21] There's like two. There was, like, two long term relationships I would pop up, like, in between them, and then I'd be like, boom, you've been bumped. And then that I would be that one.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:35:33] Vanessa, what would you. What's your backstory? What kind of story?

Vanessa Graddick: [00:35:36] So I got distracted on what is my backstory or just what I would do. So I'm going to my first idea is to kill the pedophiles, but I'm going to shoot them on over to Cat the rapist, because I think that's the same thing. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:35:48] They are.

Vanessa Graddick: [00:35:48] But my villain backstory would be I am a young lady who is in love with a young man who I think is amazing, but the several bitches before me have ruined him, and now he is not emotionally available and he is a d-bag because of these women. So now I am killing all of the horrible bitches that have made horrible men.

Cat Alvarado: [00:36:12] Ooh, I like that one. Can I vote for that?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:14] You went to the source. This is. You're killing the d-bag source.

Vanessa Graddick: [00:36:17] I'm going to the source. And I am killing. Because how many times have or anybody men have dated women who or whatever. How many times have you dated somebody and you're like, who hurt you before me? And then you have to retrain them to be with a decent individual.

Cat Alvarado: [00:36:34] I literally had to deal with this this last year.

Vanessa Graddick: [00:36:36] Yes. And you're sitting here like, stuff will happen. It's like when you go to hug somebody and they flinch, like, who hurt you? I have to go kill them because they're not going to just keep making all these damaged men out here for the rest of the world.

Cat Alvarado: [00:36:49] Mhm. I like that one.

Vanessa Graddick: [00:36:50] Straight to the source, but I have to be hurt first. That's my backstory. I have to think I'm getting married. And then he like leaves me at the altar.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:36:59] Well at least you guys like some of the themes that come up. And when we had Vanessa on the show, you know, there were themes around previous people you've dated. For me, I'm always wanting to like off middle management.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:10] Yeah. That's true.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:12] I have to So whatever middle management hurt me, I need to forgive them.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:17] Yeah, you need to. You need to move on with your life. Here's some more clips from season four. The first clip is from episode one where we're told what kind of religion they would start.

Nick Guerra: [00:37:27] But I come from South Texas. There's no parking meters there. My religion is based on all the best parts of monopoly. Take a chance. Community chest parking is free. If you pass a life, if you pass one year, you collect $200. That's what. That's what it would be.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:37:46] Listen to this clip from episode three, where comedian Cyrus Naderpour tells us which dad person he would want to speak to.

Cyrus Naderpour: [00:37:52] Oh yes. Christ. One inspired me. Who was Mary married to? Was it Joseph? '

Dwayne Perkins: [00:37:57] Yes

Cyrus Naderpour: [00:37:58] Joseph. I want to talk to Joseph. I feel like, no, it wasn't weird. Like, how is that? Like, what were the vibes like? I know you got cucked by God. It was an awkward, like, let's see what that was like. We're never gonna hear his side of the story.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:10] That's hilarious.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:11] Absolutely.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:11] Yeah, because. Because he quite possibly got gaslit, like, the biggest gaslit.

Cyrus Naderpour: [00:38:16] By Gaslight of the century.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:17] I mean, was he like, was he watching it while it was happening?

Cyrus Naderpour: [00:38:21] Was he sitting in the chair like the.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:25] Let's listen to this clip from episode five, when Cat explains to us the strange world of Bill gates conspiracies with comedian Aaron Marsh.

Cat Alvarado: [00:38:32] So why would anyone think that Bill gates wants to control the population? The most common accusations against gates are that he one is a pedophile billionaire. Who wants to block out the sun? Okay.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:48] That sounds like a Simpsons episode, by the way.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:50] It is the actual sun. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:38:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:38:53] Of Course.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:38:54] I know. I just I'm like, okay.

Cat Alvarado: [00:38:59] Two he wants to implant chips into our brains. That sounds like something related to to end times theology. Three control the population through vaccines and four remove the spiritual part of our brains.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:12] How do you remove the spiritual part.

Aaron Marsh: [00:39:13] With the Chip?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:14] The chip with the Covid shot?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:17] Well, that's the thing. It's, um, some people say that fluoride kind of blocks your third eye kind of pineal gland, which is your sense of, like, um, intuition.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:26] Pineal gland sounds dirty.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:28] I know, I know, I may not be saying it right, but. Yeah, but that calcifies because of fluoride.

Aaron Marsh: [00:39:32] Which is why I never brush my teeth.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:34] Yeah. Smart. Smart, man.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:39:36] Or Drink any water?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:37] Yeah.

Aaron Marsh: [00:39:37] Right, bro.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:39:40] But most of all, we wanted to thank our listeners. We are humbled and thankful that all of you spend your time listening to us every month. And we are grateful for the reviews on Apple Podcasts. Please keep them coming.

Cat Alvarado: [00:39:52] Be sure to subscribe to our show anywhere you usually listen to your podcasts. Visit our website. Unofficial official Story.com to listen to any of our past episodes. And if you're not following us on our socials, you are missing out on even more great content.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:05] And stay tuned for the first episode of season five, which kicks off on April 17th, where we'll be celebrating the opening of a major League Baseball season by asking the question, Was Babe Ruth Black?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:15] That is a good, good question.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:17] Or I think it's more like he was half black is what people think.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:20] Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Right right. But but back then half black.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:22] H1% one one drop of blood was was black.

Cat Alvarado: [00:40:25] Um, all I could say about that theory is rude. It's rude to everyone. There's no one that's not rude to you.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:32] Well, but but it's important to baseball because it's this idea that because baseball was not.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:36] It was segregated.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:37] Was segregated at the time.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:38] So then if the best player ever was part black.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:41] One of the best players ever.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:42] One of The best players.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:43] I mean, Josh Gibson hit 800 home runs now from the Negro Leagues. 

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:47] So so it's really, really interesting. Um, it's tough because he looks like he could be.

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:40:52] Yeah. The real question was, was he Japanese american and was.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:55] Right, right.

Cat Alvarado: [00:40:56] I mean, was he an alien?

Dwayne Perkins: [00:40:57] He could have been that, too.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:00] He had the tiniest little legs. But anyway, we'll get into it.

Cat Alvarado: [00:41:03] Have you ever noticed he has really big eyes and a tiny little chin? Wait, am I looking at the right Babe Ruth?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:08] But he had a big penis, though, so.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:09] Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Cat Alvarado: [00:41:12] How do you know that was a baseball bat? What are you talking about?

Koji Steven Sakai: [00:41:17] All right, thank you guys bye. 

Cat Alvarado: [00:41:18] Bye.

Dwayne Perkins: [00:41:19] See you guys.